


Closest at Heart

by happytreasure



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, BUCKLE UP AND GET READY THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE KIDS, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internalized Homophobia, Language Barrier, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Miscommunication, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, anyway i dont know fucking anything abt figure skating, dont worry its an once mentioned oc, guang hong's quirks are based off one of my friends form china, its like an in depth look at their friendship, leoji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-13 08:23:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 39,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9114886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happytreasure/pseuds/happytreasure
Summary: The older boy came to a practiced stop in front of where Guang Hong was frozen on the ice."Can you not skate? I can teach you if you want!" the boy kindly offered."I can skate! I came all the way from China to skate here!" Guang Hong said indignantly; however, it was in rapid Chinese. He knew the stranger most likely couldn't understand him, but he didn't know enough English to respond, and he wasn't just going to let this kid get away with thinking he was some amateur. It was confirmed that the other boy had no idea what he said from his shocked look. Guang Hong sighed, he wasn't very confident in his ability to respond to a native speaker, so, he decided he'd show the other instead.In which when Guang Hong Ji first came to America he was bewildered by the clean air, fashion styles, people's demeanors, and most of all by the interesting boy he met on his first day at the American ice rink.





	1. Starting Off On the Right Foot

Guang Hong had always had a passion and love for the ice. His parents weren't always ecstatic about this, they found figure skating rather feminine and not suited for a young boy. However, when his parents realized he had a real talent for it and that he could go somewhere with his passion they decided to give it a shot. Guang Hong was removed from primary school where he would soon be encouraged to focus solely on his studies and given a personal tutor. Although Guang Hong's parents still took his education very seriously and his tutor was rather strict. But He didn't mind too much. This meant he got to practice skating everyday! He could feel the coldness of the ice against his cheeks and the weightlessness that came with gliding across the ice. His parents even got him a coach. Mei Zhang was a simple woman, who had been held back from going far in her professional skating career by an ankle injury. Guang Hong got along well with her. Even if she did make him start going to ballet classes to help with his balance and flexibility. He didn't understand why he had to waste his time at ballet when he could be skating. At least the shoes were cool, even if they made Guang Hong's feet sore. 

When Guang Hong was nearing the end of primary school age he had won a handful of Club and Junior National competitions. His coach suggested he start practicing in the united states during the off season to prepare for the International competitions he'd soon be participating in. His parents were eager to take the next step and began incorporating more English into his studies. His coach, who's English was passing, gladly taught him figure skating terminology in the new language he was learning. 

\-  

Still nothing could have prepared the 11-year-old for America. The first thing he noticed was how clean the air was compared to his hometown which resided near Beijing. He pulled the mask he had on under his chin and took a big breath in.  

"Mei, look how good the air is!" Guang Hong enthused in Chinese, pointing at the sky. 

"In English." his coach responded albeit in Chinese. 

Guang Hong huffed and repeated the words in severely broken English. In Guang Hong's opinion English was entirely too hard. 

However, this minor put down was quickly forgotten. His eyes widened with child-like wonder as he looked around at the mass of people surrounding him. There were so many different looking people with varying styles and looks. He began jubilantly pointing out people with bold fashion statements to Mei before she suggested he occupy his time translating signs instead. Guang Hong set to work but many of the signs were terminals and numbers which he found boring. 

Eventually, Mei and he arrived at a small apartment at which he would be staying for the off season while he trained at a local rink. Despite being jet lagged Mei still made him meet with his new tutor, Ms. Jane. Guang Hong greeted her with tired eyes and a yawn before shaking her hand after being scolded by Mei in Chinese. 

-  
Guang Hong stared at the ice rink in front of him. There were several other people skating happily, chatting and gliding along the ice. Guang Hong really wanted to join them, he really did, he was just nervous. Mei, however, wasn't having it and shoved him into the ice despite his reluctance. Although then Mei had gotten distracted talking to another adult leaving him alone. He stood frozen in place at the edge of the ice rink when he made eye contact with a young boy. He was a bit older then Guang Hong with tan skin and shaggy hair. He was skating gracefully across the ice, dancing in tune to a song playing through his earbuds. It just so happened that at the same moment Guang Hong happened to be staring at him the boy also noticed the newcomer. Guang Hong quickly tried to look away but it was to no avail. The boy had already noticed and proceeded to shoot him an award winning smile. When the boy noticed something was wrong he began to approach him. Guang Hong began to panic. What did this strange kid want with him? Then the older boy came to a practiced stop in front of where Guang Hong was frozen on the ice. 

"Can you not skate? I can teach you if you want!" The boy kindly offered.

"I can skate! I came all the way from China to skate here!" Guang Hong said indignantly, however, it was in rapid Chinese. He knew the stranger most likely couldn't understand him, but he didn't know enough English to respond, and he wasn't just going to let this kid get away with thinking he was some amateur. It was confirmed that the other boy had no idea what he said from his shocked look. Guang Hong sighed, he wasn't very confident in his ability to respond to a native speaker, so, he decided he'd show the other instead. 

"Watch." Guang Hong said, confident enough in at least saying that much. He then quickly shot across the ice. Effortlessly gliding along its smooth surface. He even threw in a few turns and spins just to be a bit of a show off. Once he was done he made his way back over to the other boy. However, instead of being annoyed the other boy looked amazed.

"Wow! You're really good! What's your name?" he excitedly asked.

Guang Hong had practiced this line and confidently responded, making sure to remember that names were ordered backwards in America. "Hi, I'm Guang Hong Ji. What is your name?"  

"I'm Leo de la Iglesia! I can tell you’re not from around here, so, if you don't mind my asking, where are you from?"

Guang Hong took a moment to translate everything into Chinese, then decide on an answer, then translate it back to English. "I'm form China. I came here to train." 

"That's so cool! I'm from here, and I'm training for my first Junior Grandprix competition!" Leo said proudly.

Guang Hong's eyes widened. "Interesting! I'm going to compete in it next year!" 

"Really? You look kinda young. I'm thirteen and this my first year." Leo replied.

"I'm eleven!" Guang Hong snapped, crossing his arms. 

"Sorry! You're just very short." Leo defended. 

Guang Hong huffed before swallowing his pride to ask a question he'd wanted to since he saw Leo skate. "Hey, can you show me that thing? I can only do one spin mostly." he asked, unsure of the name in English. 

"Oh, what thing?" Leo asked curiously.

Guang Hong but his lip in frustration when he was unable to think of the word in English. "This thing." Guang Hong said before attempting a double toe loop. However, he just ending up over rotating and unsteadily landing a single toe loop.

"Oh, a toe loop?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, but times two!" Guang Hong clarified.

Leo looked confused for a moment before asking, "Oh! A double toe loop?"

"Yeah, sorry I forget the word in English." Guang Hong said sheepishly. 

After fifteen minutes of Leo trying to teach him a double toe loop Guang Hong's coach called him over. 

He turned to Leo, "Sorry, my coach wants me."

"It's okay, I'll see you tomorrow right?" Leo beamed.

"Yes, I will be here every day!" Guang Hong said, already taking a liking to the older boy. 

-

“So, Guang Hong how do you like America?” Leo asked one day as they warmed up together.

“The air is very good!” Guang Hong exclaimed.

Leo was a little confused but let it go. “Do you miss China?”

“A little, but the air is not very good.” Then he looked around as if to make sure no one was listening. “Also I just like it here better.” he said, face lit up with a smile.

Most of their conversations followed a similar pattern over the next week. Guang Hong and Leo learned a lot about each other, often asking about each other's families and home countries. Guang Hong learned that Leo had seven siblings which as an only child he found shocking. He also found out Leo is Mexican and can speak Spanish, he it found comforting knowing the other boy also had two languages bouncing around in his head. However, Guang Hong often became frustrated when he had a hard time answering or understanding, although Leo was always patient and helpful. 

-

Mei and Guang Hong were walking back from the ice rink as he babbled on continuously about something Leo had told him.

"You've sure been interested in that American boy lately." Mei commented.

"He's cool and he's helping me with some jumps!"  Guang Hong explained.

"Hmmm," Mei hummed noncommittally, "You've really picked up your studies in English. I thought you hated it."

"You’re the one who said I had to learn it." he huffed, a slight blush on his face.

Mei gave a soft smile. "I'm glad you're making friends just don't let it get in the way of your skating, okay?" Mei reminded.

"Of course!" Guang Hong assured.

 

-

“Wow!” Guang Hong exclaimed, “Leo your short program is amazing!” 

Leo blushed and gave his friend a grateful look. “I just like to feel the music, ya know? It’s still very much a work is progress but-“

“It’s amazing that’s what it is!” Guang Hong repeated.

Guang Hong felt a sudden rush of emotion for his friend, it’d been happening a lot lately. Guang Hong didn’t have a lot of figure skating friends in China. So, being able to truly share his passion with someone else his age was a new experience for him. It was something he knew he’d never want to let go.

“Hey, earth to Guang Hong.” Leo called trying get his attention.

He didn’t really understand the saying but he responded anyway. “Yeah?”

“You wanna keep skating?” Leo asked.

“I will always want to skate with you, Leo!”

Leo shot him his award winning smile, “I’ll hold you to it.” 

Once again Guang Hong didn’t really understand the saying but Leo’s grin was enough to let him know everything was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW IM ACTUALLY POSTING ANOTHER FIC?????
> 
> anyway i hope u enjoy, i'll try and update asap if anybody wants another chap 
> 
> also i know nothing about figure skating
> 
> i also dnt know everything abt China but one of my best friends at school is a chinese exchange student so i ask him abt things im confused abt sometimes. hes also where some of the anecdotes come from and guang hongs obsession with the clean air comes from 
> 
> as always constructive criticism is appreciated
> 
> my tumblr - happytreasuree
> 
> as u can see i changed my username bc yannno new year n shit


	2. Too Many Miles to Count

"Hey, Guang Hong, I like the double toe loop!" Leo complimented from across the rink as Guang Hong cleanly landed the jump he'd relentlessly been practicing. Guang Hong turned and shot him a wide grin and a thumbs up. 

The rest of practice went in a similar fashion, with him and Guang Hong throwing compliments and quips back and forth as much as they could without being scolded by their coaches. In fact, most practices involved Leo and Guang Hong interacting with each other as much as possible. They warmed up together, gave each other tips and critiques, and cooled down together. Practice always ended with the two boys sitting together as they removed their skates, trying to prolong the action so they could continue to talk. 

“I can’t believe it’s already January. The year went by so fast.” Leo marveled.

“Yeah. My birthday is on January 7th.” 

“Really? I’ll make sure to get you something!” Leo promised.

"You don’t have to.” Guang Hong said, pulling off a skate. “Ugh, my feet hurt bad." Guang Hong complained as he took off his other skate revealing a new blister. "I wish the...sharp shoes didn't hurt."

Leo gave a chuckle, "Ice skates?" he helpfully supplied.

"Yes, ice skates." Guang Hong confirmed, wiggling his sore toes.  
He then paused before asking, "Hey, what do you call them in Spanish?" 

"Ice skates?  Los patines de hielo."  Leo said, unlacing his skates.

"Yellow?" Guang Hong said, tilting his head to the side.

"No, hielo." Leo replied with a laugh, "Although it does sound like yellow."

"Spanish is hard like English." Guang Hong pouted.

"Don't worry, your English is getting better." Leo assured him.

"I've been studying more to talk with you." Guang Hong explained.

Before Leo could express how grateful he was that his friend was studying more on his behalf Guang Hong's coach called to him in Chinese. 

"I have to go. I will see you tomorrow, Leo!" Guang Hong said, waving as he walked away. 

Leo waved back, amazed at how easily Guang Hong had become one of his closest friends. He was so bright-eyed and determined, and somehow despite the language barrier Leo often found it easier to talk to him than to others who spoke his native tongue. 

-  
 “Happy Birthday!” Leo said placing a cake and teddy bear on Guang Hong’s lap. 

Guang Hong’s face flushed a deep red, “Thank you, Leo!” 

“It’s no problem. We’re friends after all, right?” 

“Yes!” Guang Hong confirmed.

Despite the call for celebration their coaches still worked them hard throughout practice. So, Leo was grateful when Mei and Sofía decided to take it easy on them afterwards and allowed them to hang around and eat cake. 

“Leo, what is this called again?” Guang asked in awe.

“It’s called ice cream cake.” Leo explained. “I’m actually surprised it didn’t melt.”

“It’s very good! I like this present.” Guang Hong said, shoveling more ice cream cake into his mouth.

“I’m glad you enjoy it. I’ll make sure to get you more on your birthday next year too.”

Guang Hong put his hand on Leo’s shoulder from across the table. “You are my best friend, Leo.” he said seriously.

Leo laughed, “You’re my best friend too.”

-

The next morning Leo noticed Guang Hong looked particularly tired. The younger boy moved sluggishly and repeatedly yawned. 

"Jeez, Guang Hong you look tired. How do you say 'wake up' in Chinese?” Leo asked, practically skating circles around the tired boy.

Guang Hong yawned and took a moment to translate his response. "Uh, xǐng lái." he answered.

Leo knew he was horrible a Chinese since he wasn't used to the tonal language, but he still clumsily attempted to repeat the words. Although he knew he'd messed up when Guang Hong giggled. "You just said the word 'trust' in Chinese." Guang Hong explained with a sleepy smile.

"Maybe I should stick to English and Spanish, huh?" Leo said sheepishly.

"Leave the Chinese to me." Guang Hong snickered.

Leo quickly brushed off the slight embarrassment and instead took pride in being able to make his sleepy friend chirper. 

However, despite both being rather awake by the time practice actually started they were exhausted by the first water break. 

"Jeez, Sofía is really making sure I get in shape before competition." Leo complained.

"I am not going to competition. Mei is mean." Guang Hong whined.

"She is working you hard, but at least you'll be better by the time you do compete. You can even do a double toe loop now!" Leo pointed out.

"Yes, thank you, I am happy about it!" Guang Hong enthused.

"Don't mention it." Leo said, taking another sip from his bottle. 

"Oh, Leo what is that?" Guang Hong said pointing to the drink in Leo's hand. 

"Oh, this is Horchata!" Leo smiled, "It's one of my favorites, my mom made it this morning. I can bring you some tomorrow if you want." Leo offered.

Guang Hong eyed Leo's bottle skeptically. “I Promise it’s good.” Leo assured. 

“Okay.” Guang Hong agreed. 

-

Eight children made the de la Iglesia household a busy one. However, being the third oldest meant Leo was accustomed to the chaos, and the teasing siblings that came along.

“Leo has a crush! Leo has a crush!” his younger brother sang.

“Carlos! Cállate!” Leo yelled, trying to cover his sibling’s mouth.

His older sister, Maria, walked in on Carlos’s teasing. “Oh, is it on that Chinese boy he’s always talking about?” 

“His name is Guang Hong,” Leo informed her, “And I don’t have a crush!”

“Sure you don’t.” she said, making her way past the squabbling boys.

Leo groaned as Carlos continued his incessant singing. 

It seemed the only peace and quiet Leo knew in his house was was at five A.M. when he got ready for practice. Every one except his Mom, who usually saw him off as Sofía picked him up, was sound asleep.

“Don’t forget your Horchata, Mijo.” his mother reminded him.

“I won’t, Mama.” Leo said, filling up his bottle and then another.

“Bringing extra today?” she asked.

“Uh, Yeah, I told Guang Hong I’d bring him some.” Leo explained.

“You and that boy have become close. You should invite him over sometime,” she suggested.

“Maybe.” he mumbled although he was pretty sure Guang Hong would have a heart attack if surrounded by all Leo’s siblings.

-

“This is good!" Guang Hong said, taking another sip of the drink Leo had brought him.

"Told you it was delicious!" Leo said smugly.

"Very delicious." Guang Hong complimented again. 

"Remind me to make you Jamaica sometime. I think you’d enjoy it." Leo said.

Guang Hong nodded eagerly. 

"You two, stop lazing around!" Sofía called.

Guang Hong froze up before hastily skating across the ice. "Your coach is scary." he admitted once Leo caught up with him.

"Who? Sofía? Oh, she's all bark and no bite." Leo explained. Guang Hong gave him a blank look before Leo continued. "She's just messing with us, she's actually really nice." he elaborated. Guang Hong gave him a doubtful look as Sofía sent another quip their way.

-

After all their time together the boys grew close. Leo leaned Guang Hong’s nervous ticks, like biting his shirt, his bad habit of digging the toe of his blade into the ice when Mei gave him instructions, and even his odd quirks, like still hiding behind Leo when Sofía approached, even though Leo promised she was harmless. So, Leo immediately noticed when Guang Hong came to practice quieter than usual. Normally his friend would be described was soft spoken and easily flustered, so, quietness shouldn't seem a cause for concern. However, Guang Hong showed a more outgoing and rambunctious side around Leo. Therefore, his somber mood left Leo curious.

"Hey, Guang Hong are you okay?” Leo asked, “You’re quieter than usual.”

"I'm going back to China in two weeks," Guang Hong sighed, "I'm going to miss it here."

Leo suddenly realized how he had foolishly taken Guang Hong's presence for granted. Of course he always knew that Guang Hong would have to go back to China eventually. He'd just hoped it wouldn't be so soon. Five months seemed far too short a time to spend together. Although he knew he was lucky for even that, the following years would be even busier with the increased number competitions they would compete in.

Leo frowned, "I'll miss training with you. When will I see you next?" 

"Next year." 

Leo grimaced, "Can we keep in contact? We could email." Leo suggested.

"I don't know if I can email you from China." Guang Hong moped.

"Oh, well maybe-...What?" Leo asked when Guang Hong's face suddenly lit up. 

"Mei's phone has a VPN! I can email on it!" Guang Hong beamed.

"VPN?" Leo asked.

"I think It's....uhm...it's like a different address on the phone!" Guang Hong explained, "But it means I can talk to you easier."

Leo returned his smile, "Good, I want to keep in touch, even if we can't see each other."

"Me too, Leo!" 

-

Guang Hong sat stubbornly on the bench with Leo after his last practice before returning to China.

"I don't want to go back." Guang Hong pouted.

"It'll be okay; I'll email you as much as possible. And besides you'll get to see all your friends in China." Leo said, trying to cheer him up. 

"But you're my best friend!" Guang Hong pointed out, crossing his arms.

Leo grinned, "And that's why we'll still be best friends when you come back to America."

Leo’s spirits lifted a little with the smile his words brought to Guang Hong's face. Although it was soon replaced by a sour expression when Mei came to collect him. Leo was surprised when Guang Hong suddenly turned and wrapped his arms tightly around him in a heartfelt good bye hug. He was still for a moment before returning the hug just as enthusiastically. 

"I'll see you next year, Leo!" Guang Hong called as Mei pulled him along.

"Bye, Guang Hong!" Leo yelled back, waving. 

Leo watched Guang Hong continue to wave and drag his feet for as long as he could before Mei got fed up with his antics. She proved to be much stronger than she appeared as she swiftly leaned down and picked up the small, reluctant boy. Unfazed Guang Hong continued to wave over her shoulder.

-

For: Meizhang73@gmail.com

From: Leodelaiglesia@gmail.com

Re: China

Hey Guang Hong! How's China? How are all of your friends? I hope you're enjoying yourself.

The rink is lonely without you but practice keeps me busy. The Junior Grandprix is soon. I hope you'll watch me compete.

P.s. I can’t wait for you to come back to America. I miss you already!

-Leo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cállate- Shut up
> 
> ahhhhhhhh thank you guys sm for the comments n kudos last chapter!!! It always motivates me to write. i cant believe how nice everyone was.
> 
>  
> 
> tbh im not sure if email would work even w VPN . The only thing my friend could contact me on when he went home to china over break was snapchat even w VPN but oh well.
> 
> also tell me if i got anything wrong Spainsh Chinese or culturally wise. i kinda lucked out with these two. I'm no stranger to latin american/hispanic culture as i'm part cuban (my spainsh isnt v good tho) and work at tiny authentic Mexican restaurant (thats how i knew the mexican drinks lmao) I also go to a very tiny school thats catered to Chinese exchange students (they make up 1/4 of it) so I get a lot of my knowledge from them. Still these experiences (and occasinally google lmao) dont in any way make me an expert so please feel free to correct me!!
> 
> also i aged them up a year, 1 to progress the story a lil faster and 2 bc i think u gotta be 13 to compete in the world junior championship or smthn but whatever as of now Guang Hong just turned 12 and Leo is 13
> 
> constructive criticism is ALWAYS appreciated 
> 
> my tumblr - happytreasuree


	3. Butterflies

Guang Hong quickly adjusted to life back in China. Of course, returning to his home country came with a sense of familiarity and comfort, but Guang Hong couldn't help but feel that something was off. He'd easily become accustomed to life in America and had really grown used to having Leo by his side. Guang Hong soon found out that distance wasn't the only problem that came with living in an another country- time zones were. Since Leo lived in California, they had a sixteen-hour time difference which the pair found exhausting. Still, they tried their hardest to keep in contact as much as possible by replying to emails quickly. 

 

During practice one day, Mei called to him after staring hard at her phone, "Guang Hong! Leo just emailed you!" Guang Hong skated across the ice in record time, making grabby hands at Mei's phone. She tutted as she held the phone just out of his limited reach. "Finish practicing first! You can reply during lunch." Guang Hong huffed moodily before returning to practice which seemed to take an eternity when the chance of talking to Leo was just around the corner.

 

When the time came for lunch, Mei kept her promise and handed over her phone. Guang Hong eagerly opened the email from his friend. "Leo says he's perfecting his triple jumps!" Guang Hong turned to Mei enthusiastically as he read over the message. His coach hummed in response, making Guang Hong frown. Usually Mei entertained his excitement. "Mei, you don't sound very happy." 

 

She bit the inside of her cheek before responding, "I have some bad news for you." She finally said. Catching the look of panic on his face, she assured him by adding, "It's nothing major!" She took a moment to collect her thoughts and decide how to tell Guang Hong the news. "It's just that we won't be going to America for the entire off season. Since you're competing in your first Junior Grandpix competition this year, you need to expose yourself to different scouts and this is the best way to do that." 

 

Guang Hong's giddy mood quickly left him as his heart dropped into his stomach. Not going to America meant not seeing Leo. "Oh, where are we going then?" Guang Hong mumbled.

 

Mei brushed the hair out of his eyes. "Don't look so down, kiddo." She spoke softly. It was hard to see him look so disheartened. "We're going to Canada."

 

 Guang Hong scoffed, making a face. "Canada?"

 

Mei looked at his disgusted face in surprise. "Guang Hong, you don't even know what Canada is like!" Mei said in response to his attitude. 

 

"I know it's not as good as America," he muttered.

 

Mei smiled fondly. "I'll buy you some western clothes," she promised.

 

Guang Hong's spirits lifted a little at that.

 

-

 

Guang Hong was right: Canada was definitely not as good as America. Mainly because Leo wasn’t there, but also because Guang Hong had already become somewhat used to American culture and he found Canada just unnecessarily cold. Granted, China could get rather chilly, but still Guang Hong was ready for California's sunny skies. 

 

Guang Hong twitched his numb-with-cold pink nose and pulled his jacket tighter around himself. "It's freezing!" he complained as and Mei walked through the streets. Guang Hong was thankful when he saw the hotel they were staying at for the next month come into view. He waited patiently, basking in the warmth of the lobby, as Mei checked them in.

 

"Not from around here, eh?" the hotel desk clerk asked as he handed back Mei's ID.

 

 "No, we're from China." Mei responded with a smile. 

 

Guang Hong didn't speak until they were alone together in the elevator. He quickly looked side to side to make sure no one was listening, despite Mei and him being the only ones there. "Mei?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"What does 'eh' mean?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

Mei chuckled, "It's not really a word, it's more like something they just tag onto the end of sentences." Mei attempted to explain. Guang Hong still looked skeptical and confused, but accepted her answer as another part of what he decided was Canadian weirdness.

 

-

 

Guang Hong tried to get the hang of the short program Mei had given him as soon as possible. It was a rough outline of what he would perform for his first Junior Grandprix competition. The jumps were a good deal more complicated than what he was used to, but not even the burning pain of strained muscles could bring him down. He only had one more week until he traveled to America for the rest of the off season! 

 

"Good job, Guang Hong!" Mei called, motioning for him to come towards her. Guang Hong skated over to where she was, leaning over the barrier. "You're steadily improving. Your axel jump still has a bit of a sloppy landing, but I'm sure we can fix that up in about a week. Besides that, you're looking great." She complimented.

 

Guang Hong beamed at her praise. "Thank you, Mei!"

 

"Someone's in a good mood today," his mentor commented.

 

"We're going to America in a week!" Guang Hong reminded her.

 Mei gave him a soft smile, "That American boy sure does make you happy."

 

Guang Hong grinned. "He's my best friend!" he said, nearly bouncing with excitement at the idea of being able to see Leo in a week's time. 

 

-

 

By the time they arrived in America, Guang Hong's internal clock was all over the place. Still, nothing could quell his happy mood. "Guang Hong, pay attention!" Mei called, pulling him back to reality. 

 

"As I was saying," his tutor Ms. Jane repeated, "you're now going to be taught American curriculum and will graduate as a Chinese exchange student."

 

 Guang Hong breathed a sigh of relief. The news he had been avoiding had turned out to be good after all! Now, he wouldn't have to stress about upcoming exams and tests that were required in China. "Good. American school isn't as hard."

 

Ms. Jane had a dangerous glint in her eyes as she deliberately looked Guang Hong in the eye. "This doesn't mean I won't push you or make you take advanced courses."

 

 Guang Hong didn't dare let her threat dampen his good mood.

 

-

 

"LEO!" Guang Hong screeched as he threw himself into the unsuspecting boy's arms. "I saw you compete in the Junior Grandprix! I can't believe you got fourth place, you're so amazing!" Leo's face lit up as he recognized his friend. 

"Guang Hong! I missed you so much!" Leo yelled back. "I can't wait to compete with you this year!" 

 

Their coaches watched the exchange fondly. "Ya know, Leo has been talking about Guang Hong nonstop the whole year," Sofía said with a small smile.

 

 Mei rolled her eyes, "Guang Hong was the same, he’s been on my phone more than me the entire time. He was really bummed that we went to Canada first."

 

Sofía looked over again at the two ecstatic boys. "I'm glad Leo found Guang Hong. I think they inspire each other," she mused.

 

 

-

 

 

"Hey Guang Hong, your birthday is coming up soon, right? Do you think Sofía and Mei will let us have the day off?" Leo asked.

 

Guang Hong looked at him in confusion, "Why do we need the day off?" 

 

"Because we should celebrate your birthday, of course!" Leo said as if it was obvious.

 

Guang Hong felt his cheeks heat up, "Leo, we don't need to do that." 

 

"Yeah, but I think it'd be nice to hang out outside of the ice rink for once. I'm gonna try and convince Mei and Sofía," Leo decided. 

 

It took a lot of convincing on Leo’s part and both of them promising to be of their best behavior, but Leo finally got Mei and Sofía agree to give them the day off on Guang Hong's birthday. So, the pair waited anxiously for January 7th to roll around. Leo had decided to take Guang Hong to Six Flags since the other had mentioned he'd never been on a roller coaster before. Guang Hong wasn't sure how he felt about the big scary metal contraptions, but Leo was adamant about them being the best things to ever grace the planet earth.

 

When Guang Hong's birthday finally did arrive, he woke up early, feeling surprisingly awake for someone who had gone to sleep late the night before. He couldn't help it though; he was just really excited to go out with Leo. He spent thirty minutes picking out an outfit- something Mei made sure to tease him about.

 

Guang Hong drummed his finger on his thighs as he waited for Leo and his mother to come pick him up. Why was he so nervous? He saw Leo everyday! Well, maybe nervous wasn't the right word. What he felt was butterflies swarming in his stomach along with an emotion he couldn't quite put his finger on. 

 

That emotion came surging back full force when Leo finally arrived to pick him up. Logically, Guang Hong knew that Leo would probably be wearing street clothes but, after seeing the other in work out gear day after day, he couldn't have imagined anything else. Guang Hong could see that he'd been missing out. Leo was simply wearing Converses with jeans and a T-shirt on which was something that Guang Hong assumed was a band logo. Still, Guang Hong couldn't get over how attractive his friend was.

 

 "Are you ready for the best day of your life?" Leo joked as he opened the car door for Guang Hong. 

 

"As long as rollercoasters are as fun as you say." Guang Hong responded, giggling, as he clambered into the back seat.

 

"So, what's it like being a teenager?" Leo asked as they drove, on their way to the amusement park.

 

 "Leo, you're a teenager you should know," Guang Hong pointed out.

 

 Leo smiled lightly, "Alright, you got me there, but do you feel any older?"

 

Guang Hong took a moment to think. "No, I think I feel the same."

 

Leo smiled at Guang Hong's answer, "Well, I guess that's good, I like you the way you are."

 

Leo's mother then said something in what Guang Hong assumed was Spanish. He couldn't understand her, but whatever she said made Leo's cheeks turn bright red. Leo grumbled something back but remained quiet for the rest of the car ride.

 

Guang Hong stared wide-eyed at the amusement park attractions while Leo bought ride passes for the both of them. The rollercoasters were gigantic and looked incredibly fast.

 

 "It's usually much busier than this," Leo commented, scanning the park upon returning. "So, what do you want to do first?"

 

 Guang Hong looked at the biggest rollercoaster in the park. He was absolutely mesmerized by the whirling mechanics and lightning fast movements. Before he'd been a bit wary of rollercoasters but after seeing the one in front of it he knew he absolutely had to ride it. "That one,” he said, pointing at it determinedly

 

Leo looked at him worriedly. "Are you sure you don't want to work your way up to that one? Even I've never been on it. Actually, only Javier has ridden that one."

 

"Only one of your brothers has ridden it?!" Guang Hong asked in surprise. 

 

"It's a scary ride!" Leo defended. 

 

However, Guang Hong had stopped listening and was already making his way to the line in front of the rollercoaster. Having no choice, Leo conceded with a sigh and followed. 

 

"Are you scared?" Guang Hong asked teasingly.

 

 "No!" Leo replied adamantly, before looking away. "Well...maybe." he admitted quietly.

 

"Don't worry, Leo. I'll protect you," Guang Hong assured. 

 

Guang Hong kept his gaze on Leo's face as the other blushed and then he felt the butterflies resume their fluttering in his stomach. He told himself that it was the anxiousness about the impending ride that was causing the butterflies. It had to be, he assured himself. After all, he was practically bouncing up and down with excitement until he was strapped down in his seat. He turned to Leo, who, on the other hand, looked as if he'd just seen a ghost. Guang Hong snickered. 

 

"It's a bit too late to bail out now, huh?" Leo asked, smiling weakly. Guang Hong held out his hand in response and felt more relieved than he should've when Leo took his hand and squeezed it comfortingly. _There go the butterflies again_ , he thought before trying to ignore them. Guang Hong kept his hand firmly in Leo's despite the sharp turns and drops that the rollercoaster proceeded to bestow upon them.

 

“And I thought I liked rollercoasters,” Leo said as they exited the ride.

 

 "That was so amazing!" Guang Hong enthused, hanging off Leo lest he lose his own footing from how dizzy he was.

 

 "It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," Leo admitted. "Now, come on, there's a few other rides I want to show you." Guang Hong eagerly followed Leo from ride to ride, even though none could compare to the first.

 

When they got off their seventh ride, Guang Hong's stomach rumbled. "Are you hungry? We've hit all the coolest rides, so we can get some food and call it a day," Leo offered.

 

Guang Hong smiled gratefully, "Food sounds good." 

 

"Food it is, then," Leo said, pulling him in direction of the food court.

 

"So, this is a funnel cake?" Guang Hong asked a couple of minutes later as he tentatively took a bite of the sweet in front of him.

 

 "Yep, it's pretty good, huh?" Leo smirked as he saw Guang Hong’s face light up before he started shoveling more funnel cake into his mouth. 

 

"I love American food so much," Guang Hong gushed, devouring his treat.

 

 "I still wish we could've gotten you a birthday cake, though," Leo sighed. 

 

"Leo! This can be my birthday cake." Guang Hong said enthusiastically, pointing to his half-eaten funnel cake. 

 

Leo laughed, "Well, it is technically a cake. Make a wish, Guang Hong!" 

 

Guang Hong didn't find it very hard to think of what he wanted to wish for. ' _I wish that I can spend every single birthday I have with you. I wish that I get to hear your laugh everyday because it makes me laugh too, and fills me with happiness. I wish that this moment would never end. I wish that I’ll never forget it.'_  Guang Hong blushed at his own thoughts before Leo interrupted them, "So, what’d you wish for?"

 

"I can't tell you or it won't come true, right?" Guang Hong teased, trying to ignore the butterfly tornado that had once again made its home in his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's realizing they have a big fat crush
> 
> also holy fuck this is so late. sorry about that my life has been consumed by finals, volleyball and an unexpected cold. I'll try to update every other week.
> 
> anyway i hope you enjoyed
> 
> s/o to kitty for betaing! their tumblr is -tinysweetscat 
> 
> please give me feed back and constructive criticism!!!
> 
> my tumblr - Happytreasuree


	4. Unintended

Leaving Leo, and America, behind for the second time was easier than the first. However, it was only because Guang Hong would hopefully get to see him at the Junior Grandprix. He was confident Leo would rack up enough points in the Grandprix events to qualify for the finals. However, despite his own skill, Guang Hong feared he wouldn't make the cut. Leo sent him constant encouragement via email to ease his worries, but he didn't feel secure until he earned silver in a junior qualifying competition in China. He was grateful to have his first event on his home turf. It made pouring his heart into his skating easier. Mei's words rang in his ears as he landed jumps he'd been inconsistent with before, "You'll be China's hero!" The weight of his silver medal felt as if it was at home around his neck. 

 

-

 

Guang Hong's first Junior Grandprix final was absolutely overwhelming in the best way possible. It was intriguing, yet slightly frightening, to be around so many people, cultures, and languages. Of course, the Grandprix was being held in Canada, so Guang Hong felt a little more at ease. He found he really didn't mind Canada that much on his second visit- in fact, he found he was actually excited to visit the country. Although Leo's presence might have had something to do with it. 

 

Guang Hong may have seen Leo only a few months before, but that didn't stop him from running full force at the other boy and launching himself into his arms. Luckily, Guang Hong was rather small, and Leo had been putting on some muscle since last year, not that Guang Hong had noticed or anything. 

 

"Guang Hong! I missed you so much! I saw you compete in China; you were absolutely amazing!" Leo raved. Guang Hong noticed how the other still hadn't put him down, but he found he didn't mind. He grinned back at the other boy.

 

"Leo, you're the one who's amazing! You won gold in your competition!"

 

Leo blushed and finally set Guang Hong down again, "I'm still surprised about that," he admitted.

 

"I'm not!" Guang Hong said, quick as ever, "I've always believed in you." 

 

Leo's face looked like it was on fire and his coach, Sofía, who was watching the scene unfold a few feet away, began laughing hysterically. Guang Hong smirked, he wasn't sure why he enjoyed making Leo blush so much, but it was quickly becoming a favorite habit of his. 

 

"Thanks," Leo mumbled before turning to say something in rapid Spanish to Sofía. Whatever Sofía said back only proved to make Leo blush more. 

 

"Ignore her," Leo huffed.                                                                    

 

"It's okay, Leo," Guang Hong giggled, “Anyways, I was wondering, do you maybe want to go sightseeing with me?" 

 

"Of course! I was actually gonna ask you the same thing," Leo admitted enthusiastically.

 

"I wonder if we'll see Viktor Nikiforov!" Guang Hong said, bouncing up and down at the mere prospect.

 

Leo beamed at the idea too, "I didn't get to meet him last year, but I'm hoping to get an autograph this year."

 

"He's so cool, I hope I'm as good as him one day!" Guang Hong's eyes shone in admiration as he gushed about his idol.

 

Leo smiled at him, "I believe you will be, you’re gonna be China's hero after all."

 

Guang Hong felt his heart suddenly speed up, as his stomach twisted in knots. He never could wrap his mind around the sudden rush of emotions he got whenever Leo complimented him.

 

"Yeah," Guang Hong finally breathed in response. Leo gave him his award-winning smile again and Guang Hong was pretty sure his heart was going to explode at any moment judging from how fast it was beating now. 

 

-

 

Honestly, Guang Hong stopped questioning things a while ago. So, when their fellow Junior Grandprix competitor, Phichit Chulanont, who was representing Thailand, had snatched Leo and him up to sneak past security, he just kind of tagged along, not that he really had a choice anyway. They had been exploring the hotel for a bit, as they waited for Mei and Sofía to get ready before they all went sightseeing. However, Phichit’s arrival had caused a change of plans. It had started with, "Wanna meet Viktor Nikiforov?" and Guang Hong was pretty sure it was going to end with disqualification. 

 

"Leoooooo," Guang Hong whined, "We’re going to get in big trouble! We weren’t supposed to leave the hotel, and we definitely weren’t supposed to go to the Convention Center!" 

 

"Don't worry about it, G!" their new friend said, waving him off. Guang Hong wrinkled his nose at the new nickname. Who did this kid think he was? "Besides," Phichit continued, "we're skaters too!" 

 

"Yeah, Junior Division skaters! And we're definitely not supposed to be in the Senior Division area! When you asked if we wanted to meet Viktor Nikiforov I thought we'd be doing it legally! And how do you even know Viktor Nikiforov will be back here?" Guang Hong protested.

 

"Relax, my dude," Phichit laughed, "I don't think we're breaking any laws, at most we'll get yelled at. And I don’t know if he’s back here for sure, but it’s a good a guess as any!"

 

“What?! You don’t actually know where he is?” Guang Hong just about screeched.

 

“There’s a good chance he’s in the Senior Division area. And I mean, we've already gone this far, might as well go all the way, yanno?" Leo said in Phichit's defense.

 

Guang Hong opened his mouth to ask if Leo had lost his goddamn mind, but he was cut off by someone with a thick Russian accent. 

 

"Hey, I don't think you kids can be back here."

 

Guang Hong's head snapped in the direction of the voice. He was greeted by the sight of Viktor Nikiforov, the most decorated men's singles figure skater. He was pretty sure his heart had stopped beating.  

 

"Oh, you kids are Junior Division skaters aren't you? I recognize you," Viktor said, pointing to Phichit. 

 

"You do?" Phichit said, eyes lighting up.

 

"Yeah, you're Celestino's kid aren't you?" 

 

"Yup!" Phichit beamed, "I'm Phichit Chulanont, and these are my friends, Leo de la Iglesia and Guang Hong Ji, they're also Junior skaters!" 

 

"We we're wondering if we could get autographs?" Leo chimed in.

 

"I would reprimand you kids, but I remember being just as mischievous at your age," Viktor laughed.

 

Phichit produced a pen and paper out of seemingly no where, allowing them to each receive an autograph from  _the_  Viktor Nikiforov. Guang Hong could barely squeak out a 'thank you'. He was surprised at how nice the older skater was, especially since they were all breaking the rules by being in the senior division area. After giving them autographs, and indulging them in a few quick questions, Viktor Nikiforov was ushering them back they way they came lest they got caught.

 

“My roommate back in Detroit is gonna be so jealous, he’s obsessed with Viktor Nikiforov,”  Phichit snickered.

 

“You mentioned he was a figure skater too?” Leo asked.

 

“Yep, he’s from Japan. He’s nineteen though, so he competed in the Senior Division this year. He didn’t make it to the finals, but he’s an amazing skater,” Phichit said as he led them stealthily through hall ways once more.

 

"You okay, Guang Hong? You haven't spoken in a while," Leo asked concernedly once they were back in a safe area.

 

"I don't think he's used to so much adventure," Phichit giggled. 

 

Guang Hong placed a hand over his heart, "I don't think I've ever broken a rule before," he wheezed. 

 

Phichit and Leo burst out laughing. "Well if you keep hanging out with me that'll change!" Phichit promised. 

 

Unfortunately, by the time they got back to the hotel Sofía was calling Leo, asking where they were. Leo quickly made up a lie saying they had been checking out the hotel pool. Guang Hong couldn't help but be slightly jealous when Leo and Phichit quickly exchanged phone numbers while he had to explain he didn't have a phone which honestly baffled Phichit. He nagged Mei and his parents about it all the time, but they were convinced he was too young. 

 

"What's the new thing Phichit made you get on your phone?" Guang Hong asked as they made their way back to Leo’s room, where they’d meet their coaches.

 

"It's called SNS," Leo explained, "its kinda like a social media platform." 

 

Guang Hong made a mental note to continue begging Mei for a phone. This SNS thing sounded pretty cool.

 

-

 

It was stunning, gorgeous, fascinating. Honestly Guang Hong didn't have the English vocabulary to express how much he adored Leo's skating. Of course, he'd seen him skate before, but never had he seen Leo skate in competition  _in person_. It was like a flip was switched, and Leo entered his own little world. His body was fluid and moved with grace like he was a willing servant to the music's rhythmic flow. He finally understood what Leo meant when he said he just 'felt the music'. 

 

Leo's short program was over far too soon. Guang Hong kept his eyes locked on his friend as he made his way over to the Kiss and Cry, and anxiously bit his lip as he watched Leo wait for his scores. 

 

He'd done it! Leo had beaten his personal best. Guang Hong's heart stuttered with relief and satisfaction as if he'd won the score himself. 

 

He cheered louder than anybody else. 

 

Guang Hong was still running off the excitement and joy of Leo's performance as he took the ice himself. His theme for this season was 'innocence', it was Mei's idea, and he really didn't mind. Although he found Leo's theme of 'happiness' more intriguing. Regardless, when the music started Guang Hong let a passive look of innocence take over his face and let his limbs move in graceful, slow movements. Once again he was surprised at how cleanly he landed his jumps. He ended his program in an elegant pose, almost shielding his face from the audience. Although the first thing he did once he broke his pose was find Leo's face in the crowd. As per usual Guang Hong's heart skipped a beat when he saw Leo's award-winning grin. 

-

 

Leo all but sprinted over to him after he left the Kiss and Cry. "Guang Hong," he yelled, picking the younger boy up and spinning him around, "you were absolutely amazing!" 

 

"So were you, I couldn't take my eyes off you!" Guang Hong raved, instinctively wrapping his legs around Leo's waist.

 

Why did Leo make him feel this way? A way that reminded him of how girls talked about boys, but surely it was nothing like that...Leo and he were just very close friends.

 

Guang Hong pushed the intrusive thoughts out of his head and continued to hug Leo back. He’d deal with them later.

 

-

 

Watching Leo skate his Free Program was just as enthralling, and Guang Hong cheered so loud he was guaranteed a sore throat the next day. He would've immediately ran over to his friend to congratulate him had he not been next to go on the ice.

 

He was impressed with his friend's high scores, and he could only hope to compete. His Free Skate started with a similar attitude to that of his Short; however, it didn't end the same. It was his last jump, and Guang Hong had smoothly landed all the ones before it.

 

He knew the minute he pushed off the ground he was going to fall. Knew the ice would hurt like Hell, but Guang Hong had always been a 'go big or go home' kind of person, so, he decided he might as well try to get as many rotations out of the spin as he could. He managed three before his body was harshly slammed against the ice. He could hear the audience wince in sympathy, but he quickly pushed himself up of the ice, the pain in his ankle nearly causing him to keel over. Still, he continued on, leaning heavily on his good ankle and placing a hand over his hip which had also taken the brunt of his fall. He somehow managed to skate out the rest of his program albeit at a much lower skill level than he would’ve liked. Luckily, there were only mere seconds left after his fall. Once the music stopped, he immediately collapsed on the ice, taking the pressure off his ankle. Knowing he needed to get off the ice, he gingerly tried to get back up and nearly ate ice as a result of it. He tried to wave off the medical trainer that skated onto the ice soon after. Of course, the trainer ignored his protests as they swiftly scooped him up and skated off the ice. He didn't even realize he was crying until he placed into Mei's arms. 

 

"You did amazing, Guang Hong," Mei soothed. All Guang Hong could think about was how he'd failed his home country, how he'd failed himself. He cried harder. He allowed Mei to practically carry him over to the Kiss and Cry. His spirits lifted a little when he realized his scores were much higher than he had expected, but sank once more when he saw they put him at fourth place. With only one skater left there was no chance of a medal.

-

 

Guang Hong felt pride like he never had before as he watched Leo have a bronze medal placed around his neck. If he himself couldn't be up there, he'd want it to be Leo. His friend deserved it. So, he didn't feel jealously when Leo came to him and cried from happiness and he most definitely didn't shoot his friend down when he insisted he give Guang Hong a piggy back ride to the hotel rooms. 

 

Guang Hong traced his fingers over Leo's medal from his perch on the other’s back. "You'll definitely medal next year," Leo told him. 

 

Guang Hong merely hummed in response. In the end, he'd placed fifth when Phichit bumped him down by placing second. Despite Mei reassuring him that fifth place wasn’t bad for his first Junior Grandprix, he still felt disappointed. 

 

"Guang Hong, stop swinging your legs, you'll hit your ankle on something," Leo chided. 

 

"It's just a mild sprain," Guang Hong said, quoting what the trainer had said. If he was being honest, Guang Hong never actually bothered to learn medical terms in English, but his ankle didn't hurt too bad so surely it was nothing serious. 

 

"Guang Hong, you're going to have to ice it," Mei informed him from where she was, a few paces ahead of Leo. 

 

Guang Hong grimaced at the prospect and hid his face in Leo's neck.  

 

"Icing isn't that bad, Guang Hong," Leo reasoned.

 

"Yeah, but Mei makes me put my foot in an ice bucket!" Guang Hong protested. 

 

Leo winced, "That's rough."

 

-

"Jeez Guang Hong, your ankle really is swollen. Mei's right, you need to ice it., Leo said, dragging the ice bucket Mei had provided towards him. 

 

Guang Hong whined, "But it hurts!" However, when Mei gave him another stern look he finally relented. Guang Hong's breath hitched as he submerged his entire foot.

 

"Look at it this way, if you put your foot in the bucket you only have to ice it for seven minutes, if you just placed ice on it you'd have to keep it on for twenty minutes," Leo pointed out, taking a seat next to Guang Hong.

 

"I shouldn't have tried to go for a triple on that jump." Guang Hong sighed.

 

"You looked amazing though," Leo complimented. 

 

Guang Hong huffed and shrugged his shoulders. What was so great about falling?

 

"I'm serious," Leo said "I'm positive you'll get a medal next year!" 

 

"I'm sure you will too." Guang Hong mumbled, leaning his head on Leo's shoulder. 

 

"Oh, I almost forgot," Mei chirped, "I really am proud of you, Guang Hong, and I was going to give it to you on your birthday, but I think you deserve it now." 

 

Guang Hong perked up. A present? He loved presents. Mei smirked at his excitement as she reached into her bag. His eyes widened as she revealed a sleek box that had a phone on its cover. 

 

"You got me a phone!" he cheered, moving to get up before Leo held him down.

 

"Guang Hong! Don't move, you'll get ice everywhere," Leo chided. 

 

Guang Hong simply made indescribable squealing noises in response, as he continued to point at the phone and wave about his arms frantically. Leo chuckled and stood up to retrieve the present from Mei. 

 

"And yes, it has a VPN," his coach assured, as she handed Leo the phone.

 

Leo made his way back over to Guang Hong to present him with the phone but Guang Hong immediately put it back in his hands. Leo raised an eyebrow, "Its your-"

 

"Yeah, but you've got to put your number in it!" Guang Hong said as if it was obvious, "and add that SNS thing for me." 

 

"Of course," Leo said with a grin, "It'd be my pleasure." 

 

-

 

Going back to China made his heart ache a little less this time around. Being able to text Leo definitely made the separation easier. Although Leo's texting abbreviations still threw Guang Hong for a loop sometimes, but the little emojis he'd tack on at the end always made him smile. Suddenly he heard his phone ping, notifying him that Leo had messaged him on SNS. 

 

Leo:  _heyo how was ur day_

 

Guang Hong:  _pretty good, I have violin lessons today._

 

Leo:  _wht?!? u never told me u play the violin?_

 

Guang Hong:  _I guess I just never talked about it. Also, you never told me that you dance hip hop until the Junior Grandprix either!_

 

Leo:  _but that's not nearly as cool! besides u do ballet so u dance too. u'll have to show me u playing violin when u come back to America_

Guang Hong:  _Sure, I will learn a song just for you, Leo!_

 

Leo:  _YES!!! i'm looking forward to it :D_

 

 Technically, Guang Hong had already stated learning a new song that reminded him of Leo, but his friend didn't need to know that. He wasn't really sure why the song made him think of of Leo, maybe it was the soft beginning and eventual crescendo, or the comforting feeling it gave him that made him feel at home. Whatever it was, it made him feel like Leo wasn’t hundreds of miles away anymore, and that was enough reason for Guang Hong to timidly go to his teacher and ask her to help him learn it. He could only hope that he could somehow express his feelings for Leo when he played the song for him. Even if Guang Hong didn't quite understand his feelings towards Leo himself. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this is a lil late again   
> I actually did plan to have it out last sunday but guess who got an abrasion in their eye and could barely look at the computer screen
> 
> and technically this chapter was supposed to be from Leo's pov but i thought Guang Hong's first jgpf should be from his pov yanno? Also the reason its taking Guang Hong so long to realize/admit his crush is bc i believe growing up in China he was never really exposed to homosexuality and if he was it was in a more negative light, so i guess you could say he has a bit of internalized homophobia and it'll prolly take him a while to come to terms with the whole not straight thing but dw leo will be there for him
> 
> as always pls give me constructive criticism! Kudos and comments are always appreciated and my biggest motivator!!!
> 
> anyways thanks to kitty for betaing!! their tumblr- tinysweetscat 
> 
> my tumblr- happytreasuree   
> come scream about leoji w me
> 
> p.s. stole the chapter title from unintended by muse


	5. Let me be your Fire

Leo let the music flow through him. This was it. This was what he put in all the hard work for; the sweat, the bruises, and, he'll admit, the tears. He wanted to make sure that his free program perfect for the next Grandprix, even if it was still a while away. He was also excited to show it off to Guang Hong. Neither of them had placed at Worlds, so, he wanted to make sure he got a medal at the Junior Grandprix again this year. He'd already decided his theme this time would be 'inspiration'. He knew it was vague, but he rather liked that it was up to interpretation. To him, it was a mixture of what inspired him and his wish to inspire others. 

-

Leo definitely walked with a little more pep in his step as he got ready for skate practice. Guang Hong was finally coming back, from his short stay in Canada, to train in America for the rest of the off season. He really wanted to make his time with Guang Hong count. Due to the increased number of competitions Guang Hong could now compete in, Leo saw his friend less and in the middle of the year. Unfortunately, this meant that Leo missed Guang Hong's fourteenth birthday this year, and Guang Hong would be coming to America just a few weeks after Leo's sixteenth. So, Leo was determined to make the best of his time with Guang Hong this year, despite the lack of birthdays to celebrate. 

"You seem very happy today," his mother commented from the kitchen doorway. 

Leo jumped at the sudden noise, "Mamá, you scared me! I told you, you don't need to get up with me anymore! I'm sixteen now, and you need more than five hours of sleep." 

"Oh, Mijo, you worry too much. It's a mother's job to care for her children," his mother smiled. 

"I know. It's just...you stayed up so late taking care of the twins. I don't want you to be tired." Leo said with a small frown. His two youngest siblings, only three years old, had been sick with the flu for the past week, and Leo could tell it was taking its toll on his parents- especially his mother.

"Nonsense," she chided, "I'll be just fine! Now you better hurry, that Guang Hong boy is coming today is he not?" 

"Yes, mamá," Leo nodded.

"I'll see you later, and you be careful driving, you hear me, Leo?" 

"I promise I'll behave," Leo said smiling as he grabbed his skate gear, before heading out the door.

-

Leo thought maybe he got the date wrong when, thirty minutes into practice, Guang Hong still hadn't showed up. Leo tried not to worry-maybe Guang Hong was just late. Still, that didn't stop him from checking his phone every chance he got.

"Hey, Lover Boy, get off your phone," Sofía called. 

"I'm technically on a water break," Leo pointed out.

Sofía rolled her eyes, "Listen, I'm sure he'll text you as soon as he can. His plane probably got delayed or something." 

"Yeah, you're ri-Guang Hong!" Leo yelled, stopping mid-sentence once he spotted his friend walking through the front doors. He quickly skated off the ice, before clumsily slipping on his skate guards. Although, as Leo made his way over to Guang Hong, he could tell something was wrong. His friend didn't run over to him as he usually did; he simply waved from his hiding spot behind Mei. Leo frowned, "Are you okay, Guang Hong?" 

Guang Hong merely shrugged and opened his arms, inviting Leo for a hug.

Leo was confused, but he pulled Guang Hong into a hug nonetheless. However, when he felt Guang Hong's shoulders shaking, he pulled away quickly. "Whoa, Guang Hong? What's going on?" Leo asked. 

Before Guang Hong could respond, Mei said something to him in Chinese and Guang Hong readily responded through his tears. Leo didn't even attempt to understand their words, but he could tell Mei was frustrated with him, and, by the end of the conversation, Guang Hong was nearly sobbing. 

"Maybe you can talk some sense into him," Mei sighed, walking away. 

"What were you guys talking about?" Leo questioned gently.

"She wants me to not practice today because I'm upset, but I have to practice!" Guang Hong exclaimed.

"But why are you upset?" Leo pried once more. His questioning only served to make Guang Hong burst into tears again. 

"Let's go somewhere. I'll drive," Leo said, bending down to untie his laces. 

"But Leo! We have practice!" Guang Hong protested, eyes wide. 

"Yeah, but I need a break. Won't you join me?" Leo asked.

"But-" Guang Hong began.

"One missed practice won't make a difference," Leo cut him off. 

Guang Hong still looked distressed about missing practice, but Leo had already made up his mind. He knew, in his current state, Guang Hong would make countless mistakes which would only serve to upset him further. Maybe if he could get Guang Hong away from the rink he could get him to open up.

-

"Hey, I'm kinda hungry, maybe we can get some food," Leo said, interrupting the quiet. He hoped the little excursion would ease tensions before he tried to pry some answers out of Guang Hong. 

"Do you want to go to McDonalds or the bagel shop?" Leo asked.

"I don't know...are the beagles always sweet in America?" Guang Hong asked tentatively. 

"Beagles? Oh, bagels! Beagles are dogs, and I think you're talking about donuts?" 

"Oh, yeah probably," Guang Hong said furiously blushing.

"Don't worry about," Leo chuckled, "and do they...not have bagels in China or something?" 

"Maybe, but not where I live. I don't think I've ever had one before." Guang Hong shrugged.

"So, McDonalds it is then?" 

"Yes, please," Guang Hong nodded.

Leo pulled up to the McDonalds drive thru line before turning to Guang Hong, "What would you like?" 

Guang Hong pursed his lips, "I don't know what any of the menu items are in English." 

"Um, why don't you describe what you want to me?" Leo asked. 

"It's like a...uh, a creamy cookie milkshake?" Guang Hong tried to explain.

Leo looked confused for a bit before his face lit up, "Oh, a McFlurry! Anything else?" Guang Hong shook his head. 

As they moved forward in the line, Leo watched Guang Hong pull his iPhone out of his pocket and type something into a search engine.

"Is this the McFlurry?" Guang Hong asked, shoving a Google image of a McFlurry into Leo's face.

"That would be it," Leo confirmed.

Guang Hong gave a small smile but said nothing more. It was a start, Leo supposed; considering he hadn't seen Guang Hong's amazing smile or heard his infectious laughter since his arrival.

When Leo finally got their order, he placed the bag in Guang Hong's lap and the McFlurry in his hand. He noticed his friend's skeptical look.

"Not what you wanted?" Leo asked with a small frown.

"No, it's just...there's actually stuff in here?" Guang Hong said, although it was phrased more as a question.

"What does that mean?" Leo said as he quirked an eyebrow

"I don't know. The Chinese McFlurrys don't look the same," Guang Hong explained before tentatively taking a scoop. Leo watched his friend's comical expression as he swallowed. Guang Hong turned to meet Leo's eyes, "I'm never eating a Chinese McFlurry again," he said seriously.

"That good?" Leo chuckled.

"I feel like I've been missing out on something my entire life!" Guang Hong exclaimed. 

-

Leo decided that they should probably have this talk in private, so he opted for stopping in the parking lot of a quaint little park. When they arrived, he turned off the car and faced Guang Hong, giving him a concerned look.

"So," Leo said, popping a fry into his mouth, "What happened? You haven't said anything and I'm worried." 

The small smile that had previously worked its way onto Guang Hong's face quickly faded away. "It's one of my friends in China-we've been friends since we were little," Guang Hong began.

"What's her name?" Leo asked. 

"Yuqing," Guang Hong mumbled. 

"Is she okay?" 

When Guang Hong responded, it was almost too quiet for Leo to understand, "No." 

"What happ-" 

"She killed herself," Guang Hong whispered, "she killed herself last week, and the funeral is today, and I'm not there for her again." 

"Oh my God," Leo gasped, "I'm so sorry."

"It's because she thought she wasn't good enough. Her parents wanted a son, and she thought she'd never live up to their expectations," he rambled. 

"Guang Hong this-"

"She messaged me the night she did it, she said I'd been such a good friend and she made me...she made me promise I wouldn't forget her when I became famous," Guang Hong said, with a sad laugh. "God, how could I be so stupid? I should've known!" 

"Guang Hong, you couldn't have known what she'd do," Leo reasoned. 

"But I knew she wasn't okay, and I kept my mouth shut! She said it'd be too shameful for her parents, but now it doesn't matter because she's gone," Guang Hong sobbed. 

"I wish I could fix this for you, Guang Hong, I really do, but all I can do is promise I'll be here for you." Leo felt like he should say something more, do something more, but he felt as helpless as Guang Hong looked. 

"Promise?" Guang Hong sniffled, rubbing his eyes. 

"Yes, I promise I'll be here for you no matter what," Leo confirmed. 

"Then I'm ready to go back to practice," Guang Hong said determinedly. Well, as determined as one can seem when a sniveling mess. 

"Guang Hong, you don't have to do that. You can take the day off to grieve," Leo said, shocked from the sudden change in mood.

"No, I have to get back to practice because I'm going to change my free and short programs," Guang Hong elaborated.

"Whoa, what are you talking about?" Leo asked baffled.

"In the last text she sent me, she told me to go out and win gold for her so that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to win Gold, skating for her." Guang Hong said, furiously wiping the tears, that were still falling, off his cheeks.

Leo knew that Mei would be enraged when Leo brought back her student, now hell-bent on changing his programs a few months before qualifying competitions, but he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming amount of respect for Guang Hong. Leo wasn't an idiot, he knew he was crushing hard on his friend, and after hearing him talk, he felt his stomach do a familiar flip flop that was usually the result of something Guang Hong did. 

"Well, I guess we should get back to the rink then," Leo said with a small smile as he turned on the engine. 

-

Guang Hong had been practicing like his life depended on it. After his talk with Leo, he'd gotten Mei to begrudgingly agree to let him change his programs and his theme which was now 'a future'. Of course, Leo missed the abundance of playful looks and jokes they used to throw each other's way during practices, but the fire Leo saw in Guang Hong's eyes always reminded him of how important this was to him. However, on this particular practice his friend seemed agitated and when on his fifth failed jump Guang Hong didn't even bother to make it past a sitting position, Leo knew something was up. Leo stopped in the middle of practicing his short program, earning himself a snappy remark from Sofía, but he brushed it off in favor of skating over to Guang Hong. 

"Hey, you okay?" he asked, kneeling down next to the other. 

"I had a dream last night," Guang Hong mumbled.

"A dream or a nightmare?"

Guang Hong looked up at him. "What's the difference again?" 

"Dreams are good, nightmares are bad," Leo briefly explained.

"It must've been a dream, then," Guang Hong clarified, "I was so happy it in." 

"What was it about?" Leo questioned.

"A secret," Guang Hong vaguely explained.

"Can I know this secret?" 

Guang Hong quickly shook his head as his cheeks turned red. "Only Yuqing knew." 

Leo frowned, he was a little irked his best friend didn't trust him with a secret, but then again, Guang Hong was allowed to have secrets. "Is the dream what's upsetting you?" he said, trying to continue the conversation.

"Distracting would be a better word," Guang Hong corrected, "It made me think of her." 

"I'm sorry, Guang Hong," Leo said, "I wish I could make it better." 

"You're my best friend, just being here makes it better. You really inspire me, Leo," Guang Hong said with a small smile.

“How so?” Leo asked.

“You inspire me to keep doing what I love, and you remind me why I do it,” Guang Hong said, leaning his head on Leo’s shoulder.

“Why do you it?”

“For the people like you in my life,” Guang Hong replied.

-

Their time together passed faster than Leo could have ever anticipated, and of course, before he knew it, it was a few days before Guang Hong was supposed to leave.

"Oh!" Guang Hong exclaimed as he was putting on his skates one morning.

"What?" Leo said, raising an eyebrow.

"I leave in three days and I still haven't showed you the song I learned for you on the violin!" Guang Hong explained. 

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that! Maybe you could come over to my house later and show me?" Leo suggested. Guang Hong had never been over to Leo's house, mostly because Leo was slightly terrified of his siblings terrorizing him. 

"Sure!" Guang Hong enthused. 

Leo noticed that the day went by painstakingly slow as days usually did when you had something you were looking forward to. When the practice finally ended, Leo talked with Guang Hong who decided he'd come over in an hour and join Leo’s family for dinner. When Leo informed his mom of the plans, she was delighted, having asked Leo to invite Guang Hong over for years. 

"Okay, so tell me about all your siblings again," Guang Hong said, when they were talking after practice. 

"I'll introduce you to all them when you come over, but I guess it couldn't hurt to give you a rundown," Leo said, taking a breath to prepare for the speech he was about to give. "Okay so, my oldest sibling is Javier. He's twenty and usually at college but he's home for the week. Then there's Maria, she's seventeen, Carlos, who's thirteen and super annoying, Emilio is ten and pretty quiet, Valentina is six and super rambunctious, and finally there's the three-year-old twins Abril and Abigail, but Abigail doesn't speak much and is very shy, so don't take it personally if she won't respond." 

"Okay," Guang Hong said, clearly still processing the information, "I got this." 

-

"Mom, really it's fine. You don't have to make so much food, he's only one person!" Leo protested once he saw the feast his mom was preparing. 

"Oh, hush, Mijo, I want our guest to feel welcome," his mother replied. 

 Leo was about to reply when he heard the telltale sound of toddler feet pattering across the floor. He turned around just in time to see the dynamic duo, also known as his twin siblings. 

"Leo!" they screeched in union. 

"How are you today, kiddos?" Leo said crouching down to their height.

"When Guang Hong get here?" Abril asked. Her quieter counterpart and twin sister, Abigail, usually let her do most the talking. It was mostly due to the fact that, even at the age of three, she could only say a handful of words-most of which were in Spanish. Regardless, her sister was happy to be her voice. Their adorable nature reminded Leo how important his family was to him. Maybe he should've brought Guang Hong over a long time ago.

"He should be here any-" Leo's response was cut off by the sound of the door bell ringing. 

"Guang Hong here!" Abril yelled. 

Leo quickly stood and made his way to the door. He heard his mother call the rest his siblings down and then the sound of feet running down the stairs. 

"Guang Hong," Leo said with a smile as he opened the door. His friend was standing at the front door in casual clothes, with his violin case under his arms. Leo had to say- he looked amazing. "Come in," he said, stepping to the side. Guang Hong got about three feet into his house before Leo's siblings crowded around him. 

"Alright. Give him some space will you? I'll introduce you all," Leo said in Spanish. 

"Oh, is this him?" his mother exclaimed, waking into the room with her husband trailing behind. 

"Okay, well, that's my dad, Juan, and my mother, Rosa," Leo said pointing to his parents, "As for my siblings, I guess I'll just go in age order. These are my older siblings, Javier and Maria-" both siblings waved, "-this is Carlos, Emilio, Valentina, and the twins, Abril and Abigail," Leo finished, pointing to each in turn.

"Hi everyone, I'm Guang Hong," the other skater introduced himself, waving nervously. 

"Aw, he's so cute! A real keeper, Leo," Maria commented in Spanish.

Leo was sure Guang Hong would've blushed like mad if he could have understood her. His friend looked to him for an explanation but Leo stared straight ahead, "So, is dinner ready?" Leo said with a nervous laugh.

"Yes. Come on, let's all go to the kitchen," Rosa said urging the group forward. 

"Oh, yeah, there's someone else you've yet to meet, she's probably in the kitchen though," Leo said. Guang Hong raised an eyebrow but kept quiet. "This is Kathy," Leo introduced, presenting a fat, old basset hound. 

"Kathy?" Guang Hong said, wrinkling his nose, "Isn't that a human name?" 

Guang Hong's comment yearned a chuckle from Leo and his siblings. "Yeah," Leo said with a sigh, "she was already named when we got her." 

"I dunno. I think it's kinda funny, I mean she's a little odd-looking anyway, so it fits," Javier pointed out. 

"Stop picking on Kathy!" Valentina cried. 

"She can't understand us," Carlos said with a roll of the eyes. 

"Hush, everybody sit down, the food is ready," Rosa commanded.

-

"Did you enjoy dinner?" Leo asked, as he later led Guang Hong up to his room. 

"Yes, it was very good," Guang Hong replied, following Leo. "You'll have to invite me over more often."

"My siblings didn't overwhelm you?" 

"No, they were nice," Guang Hong assured. 

"So, here it is," Leo said, opening his bedroom door. 

Guang Hong surveyed the many worn figure skating posters and giggled, "I like the posters." 

"What can I say? I'm a big fan of figure skating," Leo chuckled. 

Guang Hong snorted before leaning down to open his violin case. 

"Alright, go on and woo me," Leo joked, plopping onto his bed. 

Guang Hong simply smiled and positioned his violin.

Leo wasn't sure what he expected, but when the first few notes hit his ears, it was like he was caught in a trance. Aside from the beautiful, soft flow of the music, the look on Guang Hong's face was what got Leo. His face looked absolutely blissful, his full eyelashes resting of his cheeks, his face slightly flushed and his pink lips set in a soft smile. Leo felt like Guang Hong was baring his soul to him. And Leo yearned to bare his in return. He wasn't sure what was holding him back from telling Guang Hong his feelings. Leo was very sure of his bisexuality and knew his family would always support him. So, that wasn't the problem. The problem was that he was afraid Guang Hong didn't feel the same; he was afraid that he'd ruin one of the most intimate and important relationships he had. But maybe taking a risk wouldn’t be so bad. Leo listened as Guang Hong finished the piece. He watched Guang Hong's eyes flutter open and stare at Leo expectantly.

"That was absolutely amazing, Guang Hong," Leo breathed.

"Really?" Guang Hong asked eyes lighting up.

"Yeah," Leo replied. This was it, he could do it. All he had to do was just tell Guang Hong how he felt. "And..." 

"And?" Guang Hong promoted.

"...nothing, that was breathtaking. You're so talented, Guang Hong." He couldn't do it. No matter how hard he tried to get the words out, he couldn't say it. The words stuck in his throat because he was too terrified he'd ruin what they had. 

He'd tell Guang Hong some other time. Or at least that's what Leo told himself. He knew it wasn’t healthy to keep all his feelings bottled up, but it’d be rude to drop this on Guang Hong on such a short notice, especially considering he was leaving in three days. At least that’s the excuse Leo told himself.

Guang Hong was leaving in a three days. Oh, right. He had almost forgotten about that. Although he knew he’d never forget the way his heart ached right then.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ughhhhhhhh this is super late bc i was unmotivated sorry
> 
> comments and kudos are appreciated 
> 
> anyway thank to kitty for betaing their tumblr is @tinysweetscat
> 
> my tumblr- @happytreasuree
> 
> chapter title from oh my love by the score
> 
> also s/o to my chinese exchange student friend who I've gotten some of these anecdotes from and loves american mcflurrys and has never had a bagel


	6. On Top of the World

 

 

Guang Hong's heart thudded in his chest. His breathing was ragged as he held his end pose for a few more moments. The thrill of skating always gave him an adrenaline rush, but this was something different. This was an overwhelming rush of emotion; a longing and a love for something he'd lost. It happened a lot since Yuqing had died. 

 

Yuqing had been there for him through everything- fighting for his love of skating, going to America, meeting Leo and even realizing he had a crush on Leo. And that was something which had taken Guang Hong quite a while to admit to himself and even longer to Yuqing. But she hadn't dared judge him. Even when he was disappointed in himself for who he was. 

 

"Guang Hong!" Mei called. 

 

Guang Hong blinked his unfocused eyes, realizing he was still in his end pose. He allowed his muscles to relax as he let his arms fall to his side. "I want to do it one more time, from the top," Guang Hong stated, looking straight at Mei. 

 

A small frown made its way onto Mei's face but she played the song again. 

 

-

 

"Hi Yuqing," Guang Hong mumbled as he sat down next to her grave. He'd been coming to the graveyard often. He found an odd sense of comfort in talking to her still. It was a bit morbid he supposed, but everyone had their coping methods. 

 

"God, what should I do?" he asked aloud. "I know it's wrong to like him, but...he's all I can think about." Yuqing had always been Guang Hong's one true confidante, because no matter what he told her she never stopped caring about him; and Guang Hong had done the same for her. 

 

"Why do I have to be like this?"

 

Guang Hong had been surprised by Yuqing's supportiveness when he had finally told her about Leo. Her words still rung in his head.  _'Go for it Guang Hong! Tell him how you feel! If you hold back, you'll forever be stuck wondering what could've been.'_

 

He'd found it odd that she had been so quick to accept him while Guang Hong could barely accept himself. Every time he thought about it for too long, an unpleasant bout of self-loathing boiled inside his chest. He'd asked her why she could tolerate him and she'd responded in a heartbeat.  _'Guang Hong, I can't tell you that I understand it, or that I'm even happy that you have to go through this, but I'll care for you no matter what. I mean, it's not like it's a choice, right?'_ Oh, how Guang Hong wished it was.

 

"I miss you a lot," Guang Hong sniffled as his eyes watered at the memories. "I'm gonna go win gold for you, Yuqing....and I'm gonna tell him...one day. I promise." 

 

-

 

Guang Hong detested the impossibly long flights that came with being an internationally-acknowledged athlete. He'd only been in China for a month after coming home from America but here he was again, on a plane, flying out to the Junior Grandprix qualifying event. Luckily, Leo and Phichit were both going to be there. The only problem was the junior event was being held in Russia, and Guang Hong wasn't ready for the amount of cold he was going to experience. 

 

-

 

Guang Hong trudged behind Mei, struggling to pull his suit case behind him, as they entered the lobby of a hotel that many of the skaters were staying at for the competition. He spotted a few familiar faces of other junior skaters he'd seen before. He recognized a Czech skater who he believed was named Emil, and a Korean skater who couldn't put a name on. Then there was the rather quiet skater who he remembered being from a rather small country. Kazakhstan maybe? Regardless, there had been rumors flying around about his supposed incredible improvement since last season. Annoyingly, the only two people he couldn't seem to find were Phichit and Leo. However, that problem was quickly solved when he felt a pair of hands cover his eyes. 

 

"Guess who~?" Phichit singsonged.

 

"Phichit!" Guang Hong said, delighted as he removed the hands to turn and embrace his friend. "It's been so long!" 

 

"Yeah, you need to come to Detroit sometime!" Phichit whined.

 

"I wish-" Guang Hong cut himself off at the sight of Leo, who was standing behind Phichit, giving Guang Hong an impish smirk that made his stomach flip flop. "Leo!" Guang Hong squealed, releasing Phichit before rushing to Leo.

 

"I missed you too," Leo said, reciprocating Guang Hong's bone-crushing hug. 

 

Guang Hong felt his heart beating a mile a minute which only intensified when he caught Phichit throwing him a knowing glance. Guang Hong made sure to stick his tongue out in response. 

 

"So, what do you two kids want to do today?" Phichit said once Leo and Guang Hong separated. 

 

"Shopping!" Guang Hong answered enthusiastically.

 

"Don't you have enough Western clothes, G?" Phitchit asked.

 

"You can never have enough clothes!" Guang Hong argued. 

 

"Alright let's go, then, Fashionista," Phichit teased. 

 

-

 

"There's so many pretty clothes!" Guang Hong enthused, looking among the racks. 

 

"Hey, you should try this on," Phichit suggested, holding up a crop top. 

 

Guang Hong raised an eyebrow, "Isn't that a girl's shirt?" 

 

"I mean, why should only girls get to wear cutesy stuff?" Phichit reasoned. 

 

"He's got a good point." Leo chimed in. 

 

"Eh, I guess there is no harm," Guang Hong shrugged, grabbing the garment from Phichit's hands. Despite the nonchalant front he was putting up, Guang Hong couldn’t help but feel like he was breaking a rule. Should he really be allowed to try on girls' clothing?

 

"See, I'll join in," Phichit said, grabbing a crop top for himself. His friend's actions made him smile. There was nothing to worry about.

 

Once he had accumulated enough clothing, Guang Hong headed over to the dressing rooms. He decided to try on a button-up first, exiting the small room when he was done. He spotted Leo sitting on the bench outside the rooms, not having found anything that caught his eye yet. 

 

"Oh, Guang Hong you look so cu-" Leo was cut off by Phichit loudly opening his door. 

 

"Hey boys," he said dramatically, posing with one hand on the door frame and the other on his hip. Guang Hong snickered. Phichit always did have a flair for the dramatic. He also had the ability to look amazing in crop tops, Guang Hong realized as Phitchit showed off his form fitting, black top. 

 

"You look surprisingly good in that thing," Leo commented.

 

"Thank you, Leo," Phichit said before turning to Guang Hong. "What do you think, G?" 

 

"You look so good! I wanna try!" he responded, before scampering back into the dressing room. 

 

Guang Hong closed the door behind him before sorting through the clothes pile he'd left on the ground. He eventually pulled out the crop top. It was light pink with a pretty, darker pink trim, and Guang Hong had to admit, it was cute. Ignoring any doubt he had left, Guang Hong unbuttoned his shirt and slipped on the crop top. 

 

As he took in a deep breath, Guang Hong felt a rush of excitement run through him- one that usually came along with doing something you know you probably shouldn't be. Well, Phichit did say cute things weren't just for girls. With that thought in mind, Guang Hong pushed down the thoughts of how his parents would be ashamed if they could see him now. Taking a final few breaths Guang Hong slowly pushed open the dressing room door. 

 

The first thing he heard was Phichit's wolf whistle. The second was Leo's breath hitch. Guang Hong set his gaze on Leo's face, the other's mouth was slightly ajar. 

 

"Wow! Guang Hong you look amazing!" Phichit gushed. "What do you think, L- Wow," Phichit interrupted himself when he saw Leo's expression. "Might wanna close that before a bug flies in," Phichit teased, laughing, as he placed his fingers under Leo's chin to close his mouth. 

 

"You should buy it," Leo blurted. So, Leo did like it?

 

Phichit snorted and Guang Hong couldn't help but feel that he was missing something. "Come on, Guang Hong, let's go pay for these." 

 

-

 

Guang Hong was the first to perform on the first day of the Junior Grandprix qualifiers. In all honesty, Guang Hong didn't mind preforming first. Most people might have been anxious, but instead he felt like he didn't have to live up to the person before him. Despite it only being his second time at competition, he still felt like he had a shot at winning, or at least medaling. Last year's theme hadn't really inspired him. It'd left him satisfied with his work but not invested. This year's theme, however, left him filled with such emotion that he found himself pouring his heart and soul into it. 

 

For the first time in competition, Guang Hong landed every single jump perfectly, made every turn smoothly, and every spin graceful. He kept telling himself it was all for her. By the time he was even half way through his short program, Guang Hong felt like he'd done Yuqing justice. He finished strong in his end pose, arms wide open, embracing the future. A future Yquing would never be a part of but Guang Hong would live it in her honor. He could barely hear over the thunderous applause and barely see through the tears he tried to keep from escaping. He shakily skated off the ice and into Mei's arms. 

 

"There's China's hero! You did amazing," she praised. Guang Hong just hummed happily in response. 

 

"Guang Hong! That was outstanding!" he heard Leo call, and turned to see him sprinting around the corner of the barrier.

 

"Leo!" Guang Hong said, pulling away from Mei and collapsing into Leo's arms. 

 

"I've never seen you skate so well!" Leo raved. 

 

"I'm sure you'll do better," Guang Hong scoffed. 

 

"No shot, I'm going right before Phichit. He's gonna blow me out of the water."

 

"You can do it," Guang Hong assured him. 

 

Guang Hong accompanied Leo as they sat and watched the next skater. It was the Korean kid whose name Guang Hong learned was Seung-gil Lee. 

 

After a few advanced and ridiculously skilled jumps on Seung-gil's part, he heard Leo gulp next to him. "I didn't know he was so good," Leo mumbled

 

When Leo started low-key hyperventilating, Guang Hong turned and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay Leo, keep sniffing." 

 

"Wait what?" Leo said, breaking out into surprised laughter.

 

Guang Hong realized his blunder the minute it left his mouth. "Oh hush," he huffed, "I forget the word for when you-" Guang Hong interrupted himself to dramatically inhale and exhale. 

 

"Breathe?" Leo supplied.

 

"Yes, that one!" Guang Hong affirmed. 

 

"Yeah, that's an important one," Leo teased. 

 

"I'd like to see you speak Chinese," Guang Hong quipped right back.

 

"You got me there," Leo chuckled, "I can't speak Chinese to save my life." 

 

"Yeah, I know,” Guang Hong giggled, “last week I tried to tell you how to say ‘yes’ and you said a cuss word.”

 

"Hey!”

 

-

 

Guang Hong lazily brushed his teeth, reminiscing in yesterday's events. It was still so surreal to see his name at the top of the leader board, to see that he was several points above all his opponents. Despite the ease first place gave him, he knew he couldn't let up. Phichit and Leo were too close to his score for comfort. 

 

So, the day started off with Guang Hong nervously thrumming his fingers against his thigh as the other skaters revealed their free skates. Since he had been in first place, he was now scheduled to go last. And  _that_  was a position Guang Hong hated. He had a lot of hard acts to follow and he felt like he was set up for failure. 

 

"I can feel the negative vibes radiating off you, G," Phichit commented. 

 

"Vibes?" Guang Hong asked.

 

"Uh, it's like a feeling or mood," Phichit clarified. 

 

"Why do you say the vibe is negative?" Guang Hong questioned.

 

"You tap your fingers faster every time someone lands a good jump, it's like you've already decided your gonna lose," Phichit explained.

 

"It's scary how much you know," Guang Hong shivered. 

 

"Leo's on next, maybe you'll gather some positive vibes from that," Phichit suggested. 

 

"I love watching Leo skate, it's so inspiring!" Guang Hong internally cringed at how much of a groupie he sounded like. 

 

"He is," Phichit agreed, "he thinks the same about you, ya know." 

 

Guang Hong scoffed disbelievingly but didn't reply in favor of paying attention as Leo took the ice. 

 

As always, it was captivating to watch. Leo made it seem like he was the only person in the room despite being surrounded by hundreds. Guang Hong felt like a fire was lit inside of him, he had a sudden determination to take the ice and prove that he was his home country's hero. 

 

By the time Leo has finished, Guang Hong was just about ready to jump the barrier and tackle Leo into a hug. He probably would've if he wasn't on next. 

 

"Good luck," Phichit said with a knowing smile. 

 

Guang Hong thanked him before making his way over to the opening in the barrier.

 

"You got this," Mei assured him. 

 

Guang Hong gave her a firm nod before stepping onto the ice. 

 

Guang Hong had never felt more at home on the ice. It was like the music was flowing through him. He felt like every movement was the sharpest, cleanest, and smoothest it could be. And when he touched down after one of his jumps, all he could think was that he'd perfectly land the next one. 

 

Guang Hong gracefully came to a stop in his end pose, one hand by his side, the other reaching toward the sky. His heart felt like it was about to burst out of his chest and his legs as if they were about to give out. Suddenly, a deafening applause erupted and Guang Hong felt like his eyes tear up once more. 

 

When Guang Hong had the gold medal placed around his neck, he felt like he couldn't breathe. Sure, it was only a qualifying event, but he was keeping his promise. 

 

 _I'm going to keep winning gold for you,_ he thought as he held up his county's flag behind him. He looked down at Leo, who had taken silver, and Phichit, who had bronze. He was met with two of the brightest smiles he'd ever seen and his heart swelled with love. 

 

-

 Guang Hong didn’t get Leo alone again until they were walking back to their hotel rooms. Leo stopped to use his hotel keycard to open the door. He stepped aside, letting Guang Hong enter.

 

"Guang Hong,” Leo began as the door closed behind him, “I can't tell you how absolutely amazing you-" 

 

He was abruptly cut off when Guang Hong threw caution to the wind and pulled his shoulders down, stood on his tippy toes, and kissed him softly. 

 

And right before the absolute horror of what he'd impulsively done came crashing down on him, Guang Hong felt like he was on top of the world. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woW im trash and havent updated in a month bc ive lowkey been super upset with my writing as of late. 
> 
> anyway! as u can see this fic just got 10x gayer but get ready for some angst. i was gonna wait for this to get gay but oh well!!
> 
> chap title from On top of the world by imagine dragons
> 
> Comments (and kudos) are my main motivators!! 
> 
> Constructive criticism is welcomed 
> 
> my tumblr - happytreasuree
> 
> ty for betaing kitty!


	7. Something Good Can Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE: i changed Sara's (Leo's coach) name to Sofía bc theres already a chracter named sara. Hope its not too confusing!

It took Leo a minute to interpret what had just happened and by that time Guang Hong had sprung away from him with wide eyes as he slapped a hand over his mouth. Leo couldn’t get a word out before Guang was sprinting out the door. He slowly brought a hand to his lips. Guang Hong had just kissed him...and then ran away? He wasn't sure whether to feel elated that his crush had kissed him or disappointed that he had run away right after.

 

Despite the maelstrom of emotions in his chest Leo started after Guang Hong. 

 

"Guang Hong!" he called, stepping out into the hallway, but he'd already disappeared. 

 

Leo set off in any direction his gut told him to. Subconsciously or not he made his way to Phichit's door. He was about to barge in when he realized it was already slightly ajar. Leo quickly recognized the sound of someone crying as he inched closer to the door. 

 

A distressed voice began talking, and Leo realized it was Guang Hong. "I can't believe I did that, I'm so stupid, my parents would be so ashamed!" 

 

Next was Phichit's voice, "Hey, hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of I promise you," Phichit reassured. 

 

"I didn't even ask, Phichit! I'm such a horrible friend," Guang Hong lamented. 

 

"I'm sure he still cares about you, G," Phichit soothed.

 

"I was barely ready to admit this to myself, let alone anyone else." 

 

"Well, I'm glad you trusted me-" 

 

Leo couldn't listen to anymore, he felt horrible for eavesdropping, especially on something so private. He ripped himself away from the door and quickly made his way back to his room, his heart heavy in his chest.

 

He slowly laid down on the bed and let out a shaky breath. He wasn't sure what to think, all he knew was that his chest hurt in the best way possible. It was like a boa constrictor had wrapped its way around his torso, it squeezed painfully tight, but it also served as a reminder that he hadn't be imagining things. Guang Hong liked him back. 

 

Now all he to do was convince Guang Hong his affection wasn’t one-sided. It’d be a piece a cake, or at least that's what Leo told himself. 

 

-

 

Leo rushed down to breakfast the next morning in hopes of seeing Guang Hong. However, he bumped into Phichit on his way down instead. 

 

"I was looking for you," Phichit said although he didn't look very thrilled with his find. 

 

"Have you seen Guang Hong?" Leo asked immediately, cringing slightly at his lack of propriety.

 

"About that...G let for China early this morning." 

 

"What!? He said his flight didn't leave till tomorrow," Leo objected. 

 

Phichit sighed, "He convinced Mei he wasn't feeling good and was horribly homesick. She gave in when he started throwing up."

 

Leo's eyes widened, Guang Hong must be really sick. "Oh, my God, how sick is he?"

 

"I don't think he's sick," Phichit admitted.

 

"You just said he threw up!"

 

"I think he worked himself up so much that he puked, Leo," he frowned. "I had to calm him down from a panic attack." 

 

Leo's heart clenched. His sister Maria often got panic attacks, and he remembered how distraught she became during them. "Is he okay?!" 

 

"Yes, I have a friend who has really bad anxiety, so I was able to help him," Phichit assured him. Leo felt a wave of relief pass over him. 

 

"Does he hate me?" Leo whispered.

 

"I think he hates himself." 

 

-

 

Leo skated through his program as his thoughts drifted. He continued to go through the motions as he prepared for a triple toe loop, but immediately lost his footing and fell to the ground. Leo winced as his hip slammed into the ice, knowing it leave behind a nice bruise. 

 

"Leo!" Sofía called, "you need to focus!" 

 

"Sorry," he mumbled. 

 

Guang Hong hadn't been answering any of his messages and honestly it was all Leo could think about. Unfortunately, Guang Hong and he weren't attending the next qualifying event together. However, Phichit would be there, maybe he could get some information out of him. 

 

"Leo!" Sofía snapped. He could tell she was getting frustrated. 

 

"I'll get it next time," he promised in hopes of pacifying her. 

 

She gave him a scrutinizing glare before restarting the music. Leo huffed as he got into his starting pose. 

 

-

 

Leo: is he talking to you???

 

Phichit: Leo.....

 

Phichit: yes he's talking to me 

 

Leo: is he okay 

 

Phichit: he's still kinda upset but you gotta work this out with him 

 

Leo: but he won't talk to meeeeee

 

Phichit: don't worry I'll make sure he's not dead 

 

Phichit: just corner him at the gpf 

 

Leo: can we at least skype later? 

 

Phichit: Sure!!

 

-

 

Leo pulled the covers up to his chin and balanced his laptop on his chest as he opened up Skype. He'd just convinced Guang Hong to get an account, and had been hoping they'd be able to use it during their separations this season.

 

The sudden sound of the Skype ring tone jarred Leo back to attention, and he quickly accepted Phichit's call. 

 

"What's up, my dude?" Phichit greeted.

 

"Hey, Phichit! how are you?" 

 

"Good, Good. My birthday is in a few months, can you believe it?"

 

"Really?! wow....you'll be making your Senior debut next year huh?" 

 

"Yeah, I know, but it's so much harder to qualify for the finals as a senior, I doubt I'll make it past the first few rounds," Phichit sighed.

 

"Awh, don't say that!" Leo protested.

 

"Just being realistic," he chuckled, "anyway I'm not gonna miss juniors, that Russian prodigy that trains with Viktor is finally old enough to compete next year."

 

"Oh god, he's gonna wipe the floors with us," Leo groaned. 

 

"What happened to all that positivity?" Phichit teased. 

 

Leo fondly rolled his eyes before continuing the conversation. "So, how's your roommate?" 

 

"Pretty good! Guy has amazing step sequences, but always tries to minimize his talent, but I dunno, I just have this feeling that he's gonna I dunno- make history one day?" 

 

Leo whistled, "That good?" 

 

"He just beautifully expresses himself emotionally through skating," Phichit explained. 

 

"Who knows maybe he'll break one of Viktor's records one day," Leo joked. 

 

Phichit snorted, "I dunno, that just seems kinda impossible, doesn't it?" 

 

-

 

Leo was not someone who just barely scraped by often, but when Leo claimed he made it to the finals by the skin of his teeth he wasn't joking. 

 

Leo distinctly remembers nearly giving Sofía heart palpitations while they waited for Leo's scores. 

"You're gonna give me a heart attack," she had claimed, placing a hand on her chest.

 

Leo almost gave himself a heart attack too, if he was being honest. If he hadn't qualified he wouldn't see Guang Hong until the other came to train in America. This was his chance to make Guang Hong realize Leo still cared about him. 

 

-

 

When finals rolled around Leo was a bundle of anxiety and nerves. 

 

"You sure you're okay?" Sofía asked as Leo relentlessly tapped his foot, eyes frantically gazing around the airplane that was going to take them to Russia for the 2012-13 Junior Grandprix. "you've never freaked out when flying before." 

 

"Huh? Oh, I'm fine, just nerves about the competition," Leo lied through his teeth.

 

Sofía arched an eyebrow but let it go, putting in her headphones and getting comfortable. 

 

-

 

Guang Hong avoided him like the plague. Leo had only seen him once in the hallway, and Guang Hong had nearly goddam sprinted back into his room. 

 

At least Leo could appreciate him from afar. On the first day Leo watched Guang Hong's performance so attentively that Phichit snickered, calling him a lovesick puppy. 

 

Leo couldn't even defend himself. Guang Hong did amazing, even better than he had done in qualifying events. His technique had improved and his feelings were solidly conveyed through the emotional piece. Needless to say, Leo was mesmerized. 

 

Leo yearned to rush over and congratulate Guang Hong as he exited the Kiss and Cry, but he didn't want to upset him. Leo decided maybe it was best to wait after competition to confront him. The last thing he wanted to do was stress Guang Hong out. 

 

Leo moped around until literally right before his Free Skate. 

 

Sofía yanked him aside, looking him right in the eye. "Listen, I know something's going on that's upsetting you right now, and right after this you better go fix it, but you need to forget about it for the next five minutes, understand?" Sofía said in a caring but firm tone. 

 

Leo nodded, trying to avoid eye contact until Sofía grabbed him by the chin and forced him to look at her. "Hey, I believe in you, alright? I want you to go out there and make me proud." 

 

"I will," Leo promised. 

 

“And try to at least enjoy yourself, this is the thing you love, Leo,” Sofía reminded him. Leo nodded in response before scampering away.

 

Okay maybe Leo didn't totally enjoy himself. He did take a nasty fall in the second half of his program, but that didn't stop Leo from pouring his heart and soul into it. 

 

He held his ending pose, knowing the fall would cost him dearly, but he couldn't let it bring him down too much. He'd allowed himself to get lost while doing the thing he loved, and no amount of inner turmoil could take that away from him. 

 

However, Leo's reprieve from worrying was quickly snatched away as Guang Hong took the ice next. He couldn't help but fret over their strained relationship whenever he saw the other boy. 

 

Leo didn't think he'd ever seen Guang Hong skate with such heart. Of course, this past season Guang Hong's program had been chock-full of emotion due to the death of his friend, but this was something different. For the first time Leo could truly see the story Guang Hong was telling with his skating. 

 

As the scores were revealed on the screen Leo realized he’d taken fourth, but he wasn't even upset he didn't medal. Well, he was disappointed but his pride greatly outweighed it. He watched Guang Hong take the podium with tears in his eyes as he accepted the gold medal. He'd beaten the Kazakh skater by less than a point and the relief showed on his face. The silver medalist Otabek Altin stood humbly with his country’s flag in his hands. Phichit had taken bronze but looked just as happy as Leo did for Guang Hong. 

 

As desperate as he was to see his best friend Leo patiently waited for Guang Hong as he talked with from the reporters who were impressed with his win.

 

However, once Guang Hong was able to excuse himself from the crowded area of the convention center Leo quickly approached him.

 

"Guang Hong!" Leo called, speed walking up to his friend.

 

Guang Hong looked about ready to make a run for it, but Leo wasn't about to let that happen. He quickly grasped the other boy’s arm and dragged him to a deserted hallway. "Listen, we gotta talk about this," Leo said, taking a seat on a nearby bench. 

 

"Or we could just pretend it never happened," Guang Hong whispered, facing forward on the bench so he didn't have to look at Leo.

 

"You know there's nothing wrong with you," Leo stated firmly. 

 

"Yeah, I know," Guang Hong responded voice shaky, "it's just- why does it have to be me?" 

 

"It’s not a choice, it’s just a part of you,” Leo answered.

 

“Well, I wish it wasn’t,” Guang Hong responded bitterly.

 

“Guang Hong, we don't have to be anything more than best friends," Leo assured, even though he desperately wished they were. 

 

"I like you, Leo," Guang Hong confessed, sounding near tears, "more than a friend should, but I can't-" 

 

"Hey, we can just be best friends right now, we can work our way up to anything more if you ever want to. Let’s just take this super slow. Baby steps, yeah?" Leo assured. He didn't have to be Guang Hong's boyfriend right now. They could always continue to build their friendship to that point. Leo could wait until Guang Hong was ready. 

 

"Baby steps," Guang Hong confirmed, grabbing Leo's hand and lacing their fingers together. 

 

For Guang Hong, Leo could do baby steps.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all didnt think the slow burn was over 
> 
> atleast i didnt take a month to update this time amirite? Sorry its a lil short!
> 
> anyway please leave some comments (or kudos) please theyre my biggest motivators. Constructive criticism is also welcome. 
> 
> s/o to my beta kitty as always
> 
> my tumblr - happytreasuree
> 
> chap title is from Something Good can Work by two door cinema club
> 
> (also s/o to Digi they've been a huge motivator tbh!!)


	8. Silver Linings

If Leo lifted his shirt  _one more time_  to wipe the sweat off his forehead, Guang Hong was going to lose it. Every time Leo did it, the entire expanse of his stomach was revealed, and damn it if he hadn't been working out again. Honestly, baby steps were becoming a lot more difficult with every glimpse Guang Hong got of Leo’s defined stomach. Of course, whenever Guang Hong was actually put in a situation where something intimate could happen he froze up. But still, he yearned to be closer to Leo. 

 

"Hey, Guang Hong, you good?" 

 

Guang Hong snapped to attention. He'd been distracted by Leo again and hadn't even noticed him skate up to join him for a water break. Guang Hong fumbled with his water bottle and nearly choked. 

 

"Yeah," he squeaked, embarrassed by his thoughts. 

 

Leo raised an eyebrow, so Guang Hong gave a weak smile. As his friend skated off again after taking another sip, Guang Hong buried his face in his hands and groaned. 

 

Leo was going to be the death of him. 

 

-

 

It was late; late enough that the other patrons had all left already. Sofía had gone outside to take a phone call and Mei was in the bathroom, leaving them completely alone. 

 

Guang Hong was lazily going through his program, enjoying the tranquil atmosphere-although he probably should've been more focused, considering Worlds was just around the corner and he wouldn't be practicing tomorrow due to his long flight home.

 

"Hey, Guang Hong!" Leo called out, causing Guang Hong to hum in response. "Do you ever wish you'd done pair skating?" 

 

Guang Hong paused for a second. That was certainly out of the blue. "No," he mumbled, "I'm too tiny to do lifts anyway." 

 

"Yeah, I'm not very tall either," Leo said, patting the top of his head before throwing Guang Hong a sly look, "I bet I could lift you, though." 

 

"Probably," Guang Hong replied, trying to ignore his blush. 

 

"C'mere," Leo said. Guang Hong tilted his head in confusion, "Come skate with me," Leo clarified, sticking his hand out for Guang Hong to take. 

 

Guang Hong tentatively put his hand in Leo's, only to tugged into a spin. He would've lost his footing, but Leo put a hand on the middle of his back to support him.

 

Their movements weren't perfectly synchronized, but Guang Hong couldn't find it in himself to care. Holding Leo's hand and gliding across the ice was enthralling.  

 

"Alright hold onto my shoulders," Leo said, as he put his hands on Guang Hong's waist, lifting him off the ground in a ridiculously simple imitation of a pair lift. Guang Hong laughed freely and turned into a graceful spin once his feet the ground again.  

 

Eventually, Leo lost his footing enough to fall down, taking Guang Hong with him. He grunted as Guang Hong landed on top of him. 

 

Guang Hong burst into a fit of laughter, "Yeah, maybe we weren't meant for pair skating." 

 

"I dunno, I think we could give some of them a run for their money," Leo responded.

 

Guang Hong pretended like he actually knew what the saying meant, as to not ruin the moment. He'd Google it later. But right now, all he wanted to do was focus on his chest against Leo's and how they were so close that if he leaned down a few inches they’d be kissing. 

 

However, the moment was shattered when he heard Sofía walking back through the doors. Hastily, he rolled onto his back, trying to ignore the hurt look that crossed Leo's face. 

 

"That tired?" Sofía asked when she saw the two boys sprawled out on the ice. 

 

Guang Hong felt like his cheeks were on fire. Leo responded in Spanish and Guang Hong felt guilty for the split second he feared Leo might tell Sofía what happened. He closed his eyes and reminded himself that Leo would never do anything to hurt him. 

 

"Here," Leo said, offering a hand to help Guang Hong up. 

 

"Thanks," he mumbled as he took his hand. 

 

"I'll Skype you tonight. Have a safe flight home," Leo said, pulling Guang Hong into quick hug before skating away. 

 

And there Guang Hong was, standing in the middle of the rink with a storm of emotions in his chest that he was all too familiar with.

 

 

-

 

"Sorry I didn't medal for you at Worlds," Guang Hong said as he sat next to Yuqing's grave. It wasn't that he was particularly disappointed in his performance at Worlds-in fact he’d done much better than he had in previous years. Still, he wanted to bring home more to Yuqing. 

 

"I miss you," Guang Hong whispered, "it's all so confusing without you here." He would've given anything to hear her voice again. Anything to confide in her and feel her comforting presence. But he knew it wasn't smart to dwell on it too hard- it only left him with heartache. 

 

Still, he couldn’t help the words that tumbled out of his mouth next, “I wish you were here to see how happy he makes me.”

 

 

-

 

"I'm perfecting my triples right now," Leo yawned, the poor connection slightly distorting his voice over the Skype call, "the axel still needs some work but it's coming together." 

 

"That's good to hear. Are you excited for next season?" Guang Hong asked.

 

"We still got a few months and competitions, but I'm excited as always," Leo responded, eyes drooping. "What do-" Leo cut himself off with another yawn, "What do you think your theme is gonna be?" 

 

"Maybe you should get some sleep," Guang Hong giggled.

 

"M'not even tired," Leo said sleepily. 

 

"Hmm," Guang Hong hummed in doubt, "I'm going to let you get some sleep anyway. I'll talk to you after your practice tomorrow."

 

"Okay, deal," Leo said, and Guang Hong could see him pulling up the covers and settling into bed. Leo gave him a sleepy lopsided grin, and Guang Hong couldn't help but wish he was cuddled up next to him. 

 

"Good night, Leo," Guang Hong whispered.

 

"Good night, cariño," Leo responded, and before Guang Hong could ask what the word meant, Leo had ended the call.

 

Guang Hong attempted to Google it but his spelling in English, let alone Spanish, was subpar. He just have to ask Leo what it meant when he saw him again, he supposed. 

 

-

 

Guang Hong yawned and stretched his arms above his head. It was nearly five in the morning, which meant he had to get up for practice. He groaned before chucking the covers off of his body. After haphazardly dressing himself, he shuffled into the kitchen.

 

He was about two bites into a bowl of cereal before a little chiming noise altered him someone had messaged him. Guang Hong felt himself smile when he saw it was Leo.

 

Leo: I miss youuuuuuu

 

Guang Hong: I miss you too. I can't wait to visit America again. 

 

Leo: We should go do something 

 

Guang Hong: Like what?

 

Leo: I dunno, I could take you to the beach? 

 

Guang Hong: I haven't been to the beach in a very long time.

 

Leo: all the more reason to go! 

 

Guang Hong: Okay, it could be fun.

 

Leo: It most definitely will be. also make sure to skype me tomorrow so we can celebrate your birthday together!

 

Guang Hong: It's nothing special.

 

Leo: of course it is! 

 

-

 

"Happy birthday, Guang Hong!" Leo beamed the minute the Skype call began. "Do you feel any older now that you're fifteen?" 

 

Guang Hong paused for a minute to think about it. "No, not really," he decided, "I did get some cake though."

 

"Ah, the true silver lining of my life," Leo mused, "along with you of course." 

 

"What's a silver lining?" Guang Hong asked. 

 

Leo bit his lip in thought, which Guang Hong found embarrassingly attractive. "It's kinda like the hopeful side to every situation, a comfort that's there in difficult times." 

 

"And I'm your silver lining?" Guang Hong questioned, furiously blushing at this point. 

 

"Yeah, of course. You've always been there for me, and you're a constant source of inspiration in the face of doubt," Leo explained. 

 

"You say such embarrassing things!" Guang Hong complained, hiding his face in his pillow. 

 

"Really? I thought I was being pretty smooth," Leo chuckled. 

 

Guang Hong shyly peeked at Leo from behind his pillow barrier. "How could I be your silver lining?" 

 

"I just told you," Leo said with a grin.

 

"But I avoided you for months," Guang Hong said quietly, "Guess I'm not a very good silver lining, huh?"

 

"Well, my silver lining is only human and I forgive him," Leo replied easily, “Also my other silver lining, cake, was there for support.” Leo grinned.

 

Guang Hong grinned right back, "Hey, Leo?" 

 

"Yeah?"

 

"You're my silver lining too."

 

-

 

"Loosen your shoulders!" Mei called as Guang Hong ran through his step sequence. He nodded in response and took her advice. "Looks better!" Mei praised. 

 

Guang Hong sped up in preparation for a triple loop, and was happy with himself when he landed it cleanly. It was pleasing to see himself steadily improving. 

 

"Alright, water break," Mei said once he'd run through his program completely. 

 

Guang Hong nodded and caught his breath, before taking the water she handed him and gulping some down. 

 

"We're going to wrap up practice soon because you still have ballet today," Mei informed him as he leisurely drank his water.

 

"I'd rather do conditioning," Guang Hong groused.

 

"Would you really?" Mei asked, flashing him a look that said she'd make his wish a reality.

 

"No!" Guang Hong squeaked in response, "ballet is good." 

 

"Thought so," Mei said, satisfied with his response.

 

"You scare me sometimes, Mei."

 

"How else would I keep you in line," she proudly replied. 

 

Guang Hong tried to rid himself of the thought that Mei would probably be upset if she really knew how out of line Guang Hong had been acting.

 

Phichit and Leo said there was nothing wrong with it. He just had to keep telling himself that. 

 

-

 

The remaining months of the season scurried by, and before Guang Hong knew it, he had to create new programs. 

 

"Have you decided on a theme yet?" Mei asked. Guang Hong shook his head. "Well, what's inspiring you right now?" Guang Hong's thoughts immediately went to Leo but he couldn't exactly tell Mei that. 

 

"What's the term in English for when you finally come to terms with something?" Guang Hong inquired.

 

"Uh, 'acceptance' maybe?" 

 

"No, it starts with a 'P'." Guang Hong supplied. 

 

"Peace?" 

 

"Yeah, that one," he confirmed. 

 

Guang Hong was determined to come to peace with himself, and he always found the best way to face his problems was through skating. So, he decided this season he'd be skating for peace.

 

 

-

 

 

The ridiculously long plane ride left Guang Hong feeling gross and tired as it usually did. However, a plane ride to America always meant Leo, and, for Guang Hong, that was always worth it. 

 

However, right now all Guang Hong wanted to do was collapse face first into his pillow from exhaustion, then wake up tomorrow to see Leo. 

 

Luckily, Mei didn't keep him up longer than needed and permitted him to go to bed once they arrived at the apartment. He fell asleep the second he got into bed.

 

When Guang Hong awoke the next morning, he gladly got out of bed. Mei noticed the little extra pep in his step and teased him about it, but Guang Hong was too elated to care. 

 

"Slow down, Guang Hong," Mei chided as he speedily got ready to head out the door. 

 

"You always scold me about being on time," Guang Hong retorted. 

 

Mei rolled her eyes, but tried to pick up her pace nonetheless.

 

Guang Hong attempted to not jump into Leo's arms when he saw him. Although he failed miserably and soon found himself with his legs hooked behind Leo's back.

 

"I missed you so much!" Guang Hong chirped happily. Leo just laughed freely in response and held Guang Hong tighter to his chest.

 

 

-

 

 

Sometimes it scared Guang Hong how persuasive Leo was, because Guang Hong knew there was no way he could've convinced Mei and Sofía to give them the day off. And yet here they were, pulling into a parking space near the beach. 

 

"I can't remember the last time I was at a beach," Guang Hong said, taking in the pretty scenery.

 

"I go all the time with my family. My siblings and I used to build some epic sandcastles," Leo said, throwing down a beach towel to claim a spot on the beach. "Since neither of us really need a tan, want to go in the water?" Leo asked, pulling off his shirt and oh boy, Guang Hong had not thought this through. 

 

"Y-yeah," Guang Hong nodded stiffly. He was not prepared to see Leo shirtless all day. 

 

"C'mon," Leo urged, making his way down to the water, oblivious to Guang Hong’s brain short-circuiting. 

 

Guang Hong quickly removed his shirt and slipped off his sandals, following behind Leo. 

 

Lucky for Guang Hong, they quickly fell into a comfortable rhythm. Although, Guang Hong still found himself staring a little too long. Regardless it wasn’t as awkward as Guang Hong had feared it might have been.

 

"Are you a good swimmer?" Leo asked as he slipped a ponytail holder off his wrist to tie his hair back loosely.

 

"Not really," Guang Hong admitted. 

 

"I think I'm an okay swi-" Leo was cut off as Guang Hong playfully splashed him with water. 

 

"Oh, you are so on!"

 

Guang Hong yelped as Leo splashed him with a face full of water but quickly returned the favor. 

 

In a matter of minutes, Guang Hong’s hair was soaked and his sides hurt from laughing so much. And there it was. The feeling he got when he was with Leo. A feeling that wreaked havoc in his chest, a feeling that he never wanted to stop chasing. 

 

 

-

 

 

Somehow, they'd spent the entire day at the beach. And despite the cold water and sand that felt like it would stick to his skin for months, Guang Hong wasn't sure of the last time he had so much fun. The day was slowly winding down, and the two of them decided to sit down and watch the sunset. Guang Hong was happy for the opportunity to lean his head on Leo’s shoulder.

 

"Whatcha doing there?" Leo asked as Guang Hong suddenly started piling lumps of wet sand onto Leo's legs.

 

"I'm gonna cover your legs with sand and make you into a mermaid," Guang Hong informed him. 

 

"A mermaid, huh?" 

 

"Don't worry it'll be an improvement," Guang Hong assured him.

 

Leo chuckled at Guang Hong's teasing. "Well, I suppose I should thank you for the makeover."

 

"You should," Guang Hong agreed. 

 

"Fair enough," Leo said as he leaned in and placed a kiss on Guang Hong's cheek. 

 

"What was that for?" Guang Hong asked softly, looking up from his masterpiece in the making.

 

"It was a thank you...was that okay?" Leo asked tentatively.

 

Guang Hong gave him a smile as sweet as sugar. "More than okay." 

 

And in the face of his silver lining, for once the happiness that swelled up inside him outweighed the guilt.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally lowkey back on track w updating (dont quote me)  
> Also tbh this slow burn is killing me!! But I feel like it s so much more realistic if they take it slow??  
> As always constructive criticism is welcome! And comments/kudos are very much appreciated
> 
> Thanks for betaing kitty!!
> 
> my tumblr- happytreasuree


	9. And Even Closer at Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> translations in notes

 

Leo felt his heart beat speed up as Guang Hong babbled on about some complicated song he'd finally mastered on the violin. In all honestly, Leo wasn't too sure  _what_  he was trying to explain, but the way Guang Hong's eyes lit up, and how he beamed while rambling, was enough to make Leo's heart nearly beat out of his chest as he was hit by overwhelming affection. 

 

"Oh, sorry, I'm talking too much," Guang Hong mumbled, as he suddenly cut himself off and shyly pulled on the strings of his hoodie. 

 

"No, no," Leo reassured him, "I like listening to you talk. You're cute when you get excited."

 

"Oh," Guang Hong squeaked, pulling on his hoodie strings, and effectively hiding his face in his scrunched up hood. 

 

"Whatcha doing there?" Leo chuckled.

 

"Hiding from you and your embarrassing compliments," Guang Hong grumbled.

 

"Aww, I know you love them," Leo cooed.

 

Guang Hong huffed and pulled on his hoodie strings until only his nose was viewable. 

 

"That's quite a look." Leo commented.

 

Guang Hong responded by loosening his hoodie, so he could stick his tongue out playfully. 

 

 

-

 

 

Leo: omfg tiny viktor is going to obliterate us 

 

Phichit: tiny viktor? i think his name is yuri plisetsky 

 

Leo: whatever the point is i'm going to get my ass handed to me at my last junior grand prix 

 

Phichit: oh hush, i doubt i’ll even qualify for the grandprix 

 

Leo: yikes what's it like in the big leagues 

 

Phichit: try getting your ass handed to you by the actual viktor nikiforov

 

Leo: nvm i'll take my chances with tiny viktor 

 

 

-

 

 

Guang Hong: Hey, Mei got really sick last night. I may not make it to practice.

 

Leo: i can pick you up!

 

Guang Hong: Really?? Yay! I’ll tell Mei.

 

Leo: sweet, just text me ur address 

 

Guang Hong: Okie 

 

 

-

 

 

"What's this band called?" Guang Hong asked as Leo drove them to practice. 

 

"Oh, it's Fitz and the Tantrums!" Leo said, before he started exaggeratedly singing along. 

 

"I like your American music," Guang Hong decided. 

 

"Guang Hong, you almost died when Phichit started playing Nicki Minaj around you," Leo teased.

 

"Okay, music like that wouldn't be allowed in China," Guang Hong defended, "but your music is nice." 

 

Before Leo could respond, his phone chimed and cut him off. 

 

"Oh, someone just texted me. Check who it is?" Leo asked.

 

"It's your mom," Guang Hong answered, as he looked at Leo's phone. 

 

"Can you check what she said?"

 

"Sure," Guang Hong replied.

 

"You remember my password?" 

 

Guang Hong nodded, as he unlocked the phone to read the message. "Oh, she asked if I wanted to come over for dinner." 

 

"Do you?" Leo asked.

 

"Yes, I love your mom's cooking!" Guang Hong enthused happily.

 

"Great, text her back that you're coming over tonight." 

 

 

-

 

 

"Do you wanna stop by your place, take a quick shower and grab a change of clothes?" Leo questioned.

 

"Yeah, I also wanna tell Mei where I'm going," Guang Hong explained, following Leo to the car, grateful for the opportunity to change his clothes after a long day of practice. 

 

"You can come in," Guang Hong offered when Leo pulled into the apartment parking lot. 

 

Leo nodded and tagged along behind Guang Hong as he walked into the apartment complex. Guang Hong entered quietly and tiptoed to his room. Leo decided to chalk that up to Mei probably being asleep, and horribly sick, in the next room.

 

Leo waited on the couch no more than twenty minutes, before Guang Hong tiptoed back out, clad in soft joggers, his hair still slightly damp but fluffy. 

 

Guang Hong threw Leo a smile and padded into Mei's room. Leo could hear him talking softly in Chinese.

 

"Ready?" Leo whispered when Guang Hong reappeared.

 

Guang Hong nodded and grabbed Leo's hand before leading him back out the apartment. Leo’s blush nearly rivaled Guang Hong’s when he continued holding onto Leo’s hand as they entered the elevator. 

 

Leo noticed that Guang Hong looked slightly nervous, but he held Leo's hand all the way to the car nonetheless. The ride was quieter than usual, but Leo decided it was worth it to see the little self-satisfied smile on Guang Hong's face. 

 

"Welcome back to my humble abode," Leo joked as the pair approached the front door.  

 

Guang Hong giggled, toeing off his shoes once inside the house. 

 

"Leo!" a child's loud voice called. 

 

"Abigail!" Leo exclaimed, picking his little sister up off the ground. "¿Cómo estas, cosita?" Usually he conversed with his family in English when Guang Hong was around—so he could understand too, but Abigail barely spoke and her Spanish, let alone English, was limited.

 

"Bien," she responded simply.

 

"¿Dónde está Abril?" Leo questioned, looking around for Abigail's counterpart. His little sister pointed toward the kitchen, informing Leo of his sister’s whereabouts.

 

"¿En la cocina? ¿Con quien?" Leo asked. 

 

"¡Mamá! Abigail said, excitedly.

 

"Okay, let's go see mamá," Leo said, motioning for Guang Hong to follow as they walked to the kitchen. 

 

"You're such a good big brother," Guang Hong grinned at him, and Leo admitted that he may have blushed bright red at the fond smile Guang Hong gave Abigail. 

 

Leo shrugged and smiled as he responded, "I try my best."

 

"Hey, mamá," he called out as he entered the kitchen. 

 

"Oh, Leo! You're back! How was practice?" His mother asked, turning to look from the dish she was making. 

 

"It was good. My short program is a lot less sloppy," Leo explained, putting Abigail back on the ground. "I'm gonna go take a quick shower before dinner though."

 

"Okay, it should be ready in half an hour," his mother informed him, going back to the food she was preparing. 

 

"Thanks, mamá," Leo said, before grabbing Guang Hong's hand and leading him upstairs. 

 

"You can wait in my room, if you want. I'll be quick," Leo explained, as he picked out a change of clothes from his drawer. 

 

True to his word, Leo was quick although, in his haste, he had forgotten to grab a shirt when he went in. It looked like he'd just have to make a half-naked reappearance, he supposed.

 

"Hey Guang Hong," Leo said as he entered his room, trying not to smile at the prominent blush on Guang Hong's face. "Ready for dinner?" 

 

Guang Hong nodded in earnest, keeping his eyes adverted until Leo pulled a shirt over his head. 

 

"Alright, let's go get some food, then," Leo grinned, opening the door.

 

 

-

 

 “Alright, here we’re here,” Leo announced as he pulled up to Guang Hong’s apartment building.

 

“Tell your mother I said thank you for dinner,” Guang Hong said, stepping out of the car.

 

"Will do. Bye, Guang Hong!" Leo called, waving as Guang Hong jogged to the building. Guang Hong turned, jogging backwards for a few paces and waved back, an affectionate smile on his face.

 

He watched until Guang Hong disappeared from sight, before letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding in.

 

Leo had it  _bad_. 

 

Of course, he respected Guang Hong's boundaries, but being stuck in a romantic limbo was ridiculously confusing. Although, Leo was pretty sure he'd wait years for Guang Hong if he needed to. 

 

Leo sighed, he needed to get home. His mother would be worried if he was late. 

 

He'd just have to mull over his relationship with Guang Hong later.

 

It took all of fifteen minutes for Leo to get home. It took him additional twenty to help his family clean up the dishes, and put the twins to bed. But eventually he was in his own bed, and consequently alone with his thoughts. 

 

In an attempt to distract himself from a pain in his chest, that he could only describe as heartache, Leo unlocked his phone. He absentmindedly tapped on Instagram, and began to scroll through his feed. He was surprised to find that Guang Hong had a new post. His friend was relatively new to Instagram, so his posts were pretty scarce. However, he was pleasantly surprised to see the photo Guang Hong had posted was of himself with Leo's family. It had been a selfie María had taken with the family at dinner that night. He made a mental note to ask Guang Hong when he got his sister's number. 

 

The photo was absolutely adorable. In it, María had put on a dazzling smile and somehow managed to capture her entire family in the frame. Leo spotted himself, his arm around the back of Guang Hong's chair, giving the camera an easy grin. Guang Hong, however, was staring at Leo with flushed cheeks and an adoring gaze. And, although it surprised Leo that Guang Hong would post the photo, it was the caption that caught him even more off guard. 

 

+guanghongji+:  _The de la Iglesia household has become my home away from home. Thank you for making my visits to America so special._ _♡_

 

Leo felt a surge of affection for Guang Hong swamp him. It made him want to hug Guang Hong close and never let him go; to tell him how much he cared about him, how he'd wait a lifetime if that's what Guang Hong needed. 

 

Instead, he double-tapped the photo and left a sweet comment on Guang Hong’s post, about how he was an amazing friend and inspiration.

 

Leo’s heart ached to be closer.

 

 

-

 

 

"I can't believe you'll be making your senior debut next year," Guang Hong marveled. 

 

"Yeah, I can't believe my time in juniors is almost up," Leo replied, shaking his head incredulously. The idea wasn't quite sinking in just yet.

 

"I forget you're seventeen sometimes," Guang Hong admitted, almost sadly.

 

"Honestly, sometimes I do too," Leo just laughed in response. 

 

"I'm gonna miss you when I go back to China," Guang Hong rested his head atop Leo's shoulder. 

 

"But you'll see me in Japan in a month," Leo pointed out. 

 

"Still gonna miss you," Guang Hong murmured softly. 

 

"Well, we still have three days until you go back, anything you wanna do?" 

 

"Let's go out for dinner," Guang Hong suggested. 

 

"Sure," Leo agreed, "anywhere you want." 

 

"Alright," Guang Hong said, biting his lip before a Cheshire grin spread across his face, "It’s a date, then." 

 

Leo plastered a smirk on his face, despite completely freaking out on the inside, "It's a date," Leo confirmed. 

 

"I'll see you tomorrow, Leo," Guang Hong said, picking up his skates as he stood up and walked towards Mei who was waiting for him. 

 

Sofía whistled behind him, "Wow, you got it so bad."

 

"Oh, I  _know_ ," Leo sighed. 

 

 

-

 

 

Leo and Guang Hong sat quietly in the quaint little diner, perusing the menus.

 

"Are the milkshakes here any good?" Guang Hong broke the silence, swinging his legs under the table.

 

"You got a bit of a sweet tooth, don't you?" 

 

Guang Hong tilted his head in confusion and Leo found it ridiculously cute. "It means that you like sweet foods," he explained.

 

"Fair enough. Do want to share a milkshake?" Guang Hong asked. 

 

"Sure," Leo grinned, trying not think about how cliché the situation would be. 

 

He quickly flagged down the waitress and placed their order, which arrived surprisingly fast.

 

"You should take me out more often," Guang Hong smirked, taking a sip of their shared milkshake. 

 

"I'm loving this new confidence of yours," Leo admitted, “Where’s it coming from?”

 

"I guess you could say I had a revelation," Guang Hong explained, twirling the straw between his fingers. 

 

"Well, for that, I'm glad," Leo said, resting his head in his hands, smiling up at Guang Hong.

 

Guang Hong bit his lip, demeanor changing to something more shy. "Me, too," he said earnestly.

 

 

-

 

 

"I'm gonna miss you so much," Guang Hong whined, leaning against Leo as he waited for his flight to begin boarding. 

 

"I'm gonna miss you, too," Leo sighed.

 

All too soon, an announcement was made for all passengers to prepare to board. Guang Hong pouted.

 

"Don't worry. I’ll see you in a month, cariño," Leo whispered, surprising himself with the use of the pet name.

 

"Too long," Guang Hong complained. 

 

"Guang Hong, it doesn't matter how much distance separates us, we'll always be closest at heart," Leo promised, truly feeling the physical distance between them would only bring them closer.

 

"Closest at heart," Guang Hong breathed. 

 

"Closest at heart," Leo confirmed.

 

Guang Hong stood up on his tippy toes, placing a quick kiss on Leo's cheek. 

 

Leo stared at Guang Hong wide-eyed, before glancing over his shoulder at Mei, who showed no surprise to Guang Hong's actions, and even offered Leo a soft smile. 

 

"I'll see you in Japan!" Guang Hong called out as he made his way over to his coach.

 

Leo dumbly waved as he watched Guang Hong walk down the hall that would lead him to the plane. 

 

Leo slowly brought a hand to his cheek where Guang Hong had kissed him, and for once, he didn't feel the same awful heartache that always came with Guang Hong's departure. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my spainish is the best but im p sure everythings okay, correct me if im wrong tho
> 
> Leo: how are you, (technically translates to 'little thing' but is a term of endearment  
> abigail: good  
> Leo: wheres abril? in the kitchen? with who? 
> 
> okay so yes the chapters a lil late but its finals week and im dying but! summer starts in a week and that means i should be updating much more frequently (unless im away w/o internet but id take the time to write in bulk.) ! also this should be the only fic im working on for a while. (although i might start another one soon.
> 
> also what was guang hongs revelation?? find out next chap! and also yay i finally incorporated the title!  
> I recommend listening to west by sleeping at last, it was the inspiration for this fic and also where i got the title idea
> 
> anyway leave comments (and kudos) pretty please  
> and constructive criticism is welcome
> 
> s/o to kitty for betaing 
> 
> my tumblr- happytreasuree


	10. At Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guang Hong's flashback starts at the italicized words and takes place during last chapter when Guang Hong talks to a sick Mei before going to dinner at Leo's house

Guang Hong caught Mei smirking at him as he got off the phone with Leo. "What?!" he asked defensively.

 

"Nothing," Mei said with a grin as she opened the door to the skating rink. 

 

Guang Hong noticed that she had started giving sly smiles whenever he talked to or about Leo after their 'talk'. While Guang Hong appreciated her seemingly unconditional support, he really could do without blushing almost every time he made eye contact with her. 

 

Regardless, he still couldn't believe it. Mei still wanted to coach him, still cared about him, still loved him. 

 

Guang Hong would never forget her words. 

 

 

-

 

 

_Guang Hong was delighted that Leo's mom had invited him to dinner, and he didn't want to delay the occasion. So, he made sure to shower and get dressed quickly. Although, he would have to make a quick detour to inform Mei of his dinner plans._

_He stepped into the hallway, giving Leo a smile before entering Mei's room. He found her sprawled across the bed, her nose was red and her eyes had bags under them. Guang Hong felt bad for waking her. Still, he bent down beside her bed and gently shook her._

_"Mei," he said softy._

_Mei groaned, and rubbed her eyes. "Guang Hong? Are you back from practice, sweetheart?"_

_Guang Hong wrinkled his nose at the nickname; she rarely used it now that he had gotten older. "Leo's mother invited me over for dinner," Guang Hong explained._

_"Oh good. Because I wasn't making any dinner," Mei deadpanned._

_Guang Hong snorted, "It’s okay, just get some rest."  He began to stand back up, ready to leave._

_"Guang Hong," Mei said suddenly._

_Guang Hong crouched back down, "Yes?"_

_"You know I love you, right?"  Mei asked, lifting her hand to grab his arm._

_"Of course, Mei. I love you, too," Guang Hong replied._

_"I'll love you no matter what," Mei said firmly._

_"I know," Guang Hong said confusedly. He had half a mind to check her forehead to see if her fever had worsened._

_"So, I need you to understand that it's okay that you like him."_

_Guang Hong froze up, "What? I don't know what-_

_"Don't play dumb with me," she said with a frown, "I know that you like him, and it’s okay, Guang Hong."_

_"Mei, you know it's not possible, it's not right," Guang Hong began babbling. He couldn't do this. It was okay when only Leo and Phichit knew, and he could suppress that part of himself when he was scared. But now that Mei knew, it was all the more real._

_"I'll be here for you no matter what," Mei reiterated, "and I know you may be scared, but you've got to be brave, sweetheart."_

_Guang Hong shook his head furiously, "No, no, no, Mei, I can't."_

_"Yes, you can," Mei assured him, "It's a terrible thing to be afraid of love; and you can't live your life like that. I want you to try."_

_Guang Hong tried to steady his breathing as he fought back tears. Being brave. Could Guang Hong do that? But how? How could he do that when everything about this seemed so wrong?_

_Mei wiped a tear from his cheek, "I don't want you to be scared. There's nothing wrong with you, I promise."_

_Guang Hong wanted to object, to refuse, to deny everything Mei was saying. But then he thought about the piece of himself that wanted claw its way out of his chest in protest every time he pulled away from Leo's touch, every time he cut short their banter when it pushed the boundaries between platonic and romantic, every time he squashed down his own emotions just so he could feel normal. He looked at Mei, and she gave him an encouraging smile._

_At the very least, Guang Hong could be brave._

_"Can you give yourself a chance at happiness?" Mei asked._

_Guang Hong took a deep breath, and nodded._

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Guang Hong lugged his suitcase down the stairs of his family home, nearly falling several times. He sighed when he finally got it to his room. Guang Hong despised packing, almost as much as he hated airplane rides. At least the flight to Japan wouldn’t be too horribly long. 

 

As always, Guang Hong waited until the last minute to start packing and, as always, he regretted it. Luckily, it didn't take too long for him to shove most his items into his suitcase leaving him with just the job of picking out some outfits.

 

As he was rifling through his closet, he found something stuffed way in the back. He pulled the soft garment out of its hiding place, only to realize it was the crop top he'd bought when shopping with Phichit and Leo. Guang Hong quickly scrambled out of the closet to lock his door. Then, he knelt back down to pick up the top, running his hands over the soft fabric. After a few moments of arguing with himself, he finally worked up the courage to try it on. It was a little tighter on him than when he’d purchased it, but fit fine nonetheless. 

 

Guang Hong looked at himself in the mirror, contemplating whether or not he should pack the crop top. After another slightly-heated inner debate, Guang Hong reluctantly put the shirt back in the closet. It wasn’t like he’d have the courage to wear it anyway, he reasoned.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

It was late, very late in fact, when Guang Hong found himself in a mess of tangled limbs with Leo.

 

He had arrived in Japan for the Junior Grandprix final only hours before. Tomorrow, they would both preform their free skates, but for now, they were happy to lounge around in Leo's hotel room. Mei and Sofía were out, most likely drinking. 

 

Guang Hong cuddled closer into Leo's chest, and wondered if Leo could feel how furiously his heart was beating. 

 

As of late, he'd been a little more bold when around Leo. Things that used to make him quickly pull away while blushing like mad, he now accepted with a deep breath and a smile. One of those things was cuddling. To Guang Hong it felt incredibly intimate; he'd never been so close to Leo, never laid his head on his chest like this before, never felt so content in his life.

 

Leo pulled Guang Hong closer and ran his hands gently through his hair. Guang Hong stilled for a moment, shame bubbling in his chest, as he fought the urge to pull away. He took a deep breath and rested his forehead on Leo's collar bone. 

 

 _This is okay, there's nothing wrong with this_ , he reminded himself. 

 

When Guang Hong woke next, he found himself back in the hotel room he shared with Mei. He concluded that he must've fallen asleep with Leo, and that Mei had carried him back to their room. 

 

For a split second, a horrible rush of fear overwhelmed him when he realized Mei would've found him cuddled up to Leo.

 

He took a deep breath. Mei said she loved him no matter what, she said it was okay. He had to trust her.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Guang Hong had been expecting the new Russian kid to be good, but Yuri Plisetsky blew everyone out of the water.

 

Of course, Guang Hong was going right after him. Talk about a tough act to follow—Yuri's routine had been near flawless. 

 

Guang Hong tried to ignore his anxiousness as he took the ice. He shook his head; it didn't matter how good his competition was, because he was here to compete. His theme this season, "peace", was still important to him, and he wasn't going to let some ridiculously talented Russian kid take that away from him. 

 

The music started and Guang Hong took a deep breath. It was something he'd been focusing on a lot as of lately. He found that concentrating on his breathing helped calm him down. 

 

Guang Hong's cheeks flushed despite the coldness of the ice. He still felt high strung despite his attempts to manage his nerves. However, despite his anxiousness, he managed to nail the first jump. The first half of his program went surprisingly well. 

 

But once he hit the second half, it was all downhill from there. He over rotated on the first jump, and the announcers picked up on it. After that, it felt like all his movements were carried out with a level of uncertainty. For the rest of the program, his jumps felt shaky and his spins less clean.

 

His last jump was an absolute disaster. And that's the thing about jumps—if it's not going to end well, you can usually tell the minute your feet leave the ground. And Guang Hong knew this one wasn't going to end well, and, of course, he did the one of the worst things one can do when trying to break a fall.

 

When Guang Hong put his hands out to catch himself, he hit the ice fingers-first instead of with his palms. The second his right hand smacked into the ice, his pinky was twisted at an unnatural angle, and a jolt of pain shot through him.

 

He gasped at the sudden feeling, but, fortunately for him, could barely feel the pain or hear the commentators wincing in sympathy over the adrenaline. He quickly picked himself off the ground, briefly crying out when he pushed himself back off the ice, stupidly using both hands. Worried they'd cut his program short thinking he was injured, Guang Hong flew into his next few spins. 

 

Once the music stopped, he rushed off the ice and into Mei's arms. 

 

"Oh, your hand!" Mei fretted, "Are you okay?" 

 

Guang Hong bit his lip, "I'll go get it checked after the Kiss and Cry," he promised. 

 

Mei gave him a stern look, but let it slide. 

 

He couldn't say he was impressed with his scores. The jumps he flubbed had definitely cost him some points.

 

He turned his head away from the glaring monitor in shame. 

 

"You didn't do horribly," Mei assured him, as she led him over to the medical tent. Guang Hong just sighed in response. 

 

By the time Guang Hong managed to escape the medics, and rush back to a spot where he could view the ice, Leo's program was about to start. 

 

"Jiayou!" Guang Hong called at the top of his lungs. 

 

Leo quickly turned to him, looking concerned and mouthed something, although if Guang Hong was being honest, he could never understand Leo's silent communication attempts. His English was good, but he still couldn't decipher what someone was saying by the movements of their mouth.

 

It was still a foreign concept to Guang Hong. After all, it wasn't like you could mouth words in Chinese, the language was simply too tonal. 

 

So, instead Guang Hong just tilted his head in confusion. Leo pointed to his own hand and mouthed something again. Guang Hong nodded in understanding this time and gave him Leo a thumbs up to display the tape the trainer had wrapped his hand in and signify that he was okay. Leo smiled and got into position for his staring pose. 

 

Despite Leo’s mesmerizing performance, Guang Hong couldn’t help but notice his jumps were off. They never were his strong suit. In fact, Leo intended to enter the senior division without ever utilizing quads. 

 

However, the way he conveyed emotion nearly took Guang Hong's breath away. He cheered loudly when Leo nailed a combination jump and preformed a flawless step sequence. 

 

He eagerly watched Leo walk to the Kiss and Cry, excited to hear his scores. Guang Hong was impatient to run and congratulate Leo as soon as he could.

 

Unfortunately, Mei was having none of that.

 

"Guang Hong, the trainer still thinks we should go to the hospital to make sure your hand is okay, especially if you want to compete tomorrow," Mei reminded him, practically pulling him away from the rink.

 

"But Mei! I want to see Leo," Guang Hong protested. 

 

Mei shot him a look that had him hanging his head in defeat. Still, Guang Hong passive aggressively dragged his feet in response.

 

Mei arched an eyebrow and crossed her arms, "Do I have to carry you?" she deadpanned. 

 

"No," Guang Hong mumbled, quickening his pace.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

"It seems you tore some of the ligaments in your right hand, specifically near the ring and little finger," the doctor explained. 

 

Guang Hong was thankful the doctor spoke English as neither he nor Mei spoke any Japanese whatsoever. But despite her explanation being in English, Guang Hong still had to turn to Mei and asked exactly what a ligament was.

 

The doctor was a soft-spoken woman who gave Guang Hong easy instructions about how to care for his injury. She carefully instructed him to ice and elevate his hand until to swelling went down. 

 

Guang Hong knew that procedure well enough. However, he wasn't excited that he'd had to wear a clunky splint for the next few weeks. 

 

Guang Hong walked out of the hospital with his arm feeling utterly helpless and heavy in its new brace. 

 

Mei snickered, "It could be worse."

 

Guang Hong just stared at her unamused.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

"Woah, Guang Hong are you okay?"  Leo questioned, concern etched on his face, once the two finally met up again at the hotel. 

 

"Yeah, I just have to wear this splint for a while," he groused. 

 

"Is it broken?" Leo asked worriedly. 

 

"No, I just tore the...ligaments," Guang Hong answered.

 

Leo grimaced, "Ouch, that sounds painful." 

 

"That I can deal with," Guang Hong huffed, "What I can't deal with is this giant cage on my arm." 

 

"Jeez, be careful! That thing should be classified as a weapon," Leo said, as Guang Hong shoved the oversized splint in his face. 

 

“My arm should be classified as useless,” Guang Hong retorted.

 

Leo chuckled, "How about I treat you to ice cream?" he offered.

 

Guang Hong perked up at the mention of sweets.

 

They each shot their coaches a quick text before heading out, and proceeded to follow the Google Maps route to the nearest ice cream parlor. 

 

"Hey, what was that thing you yelled to me before I performed? I always hear Mei call it out to you," Leo asked, as they walked down a busy sidewalk. 

 

Guang Hong tilted his head in confusion before his face lit up, "Oh, jiayou?" 

 

"Yeah, that one," Leo confirmed. 

 

"Oh, it's like a way to cheer someone on in Chinese," Guang Hong explained. 

 

"Oh, well I like it," Leo said.

 

Guang Hong caught the slight blush on his face, "Well, I'll make sure to tell you it before your free skate tomorrow!" Guang Hong chirped.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Guang Hong moped around the hotel room the morning of the free skate, becoming easily frustrated whenever the splint got in the way of his regular routine. 

 

Guang Hong groaned as he attempted to put on his costume. He finally relented, "Mei, come help me fasten the back of my costume," he called. 

 

Mei shuffled into the bathroom, laughing at the miserable expression on Guang Hong's face. 

 

"Don't laugh at me," he huffed, "I feel useless." 

 

"Awh, you'll do fine today," Mei said softly, ruffling his hair.

 

Guang Hong frowned and patted his hair back into place. "I'm scared I'll fall on it again," he admitted. 

 

Mei pursed her lips, "Try to fall your other side if you can, if not try to use your brace as barrier," she suggested, "You have to keep pressure of your fingers." 

 

Guang Hong nodded in understanding, but despite Mei's advice, he couldn't shake the fear of landing on his hand again. 

 

Guang Hong looked down at his hand which was now splint free as he had removed it to put on his costume. The bruising began under the nail of his pinky finger, covered the entirety of the finger, and the expanse of the right side of his palm. Guang Hong grimaced at the grotesque colors. The only upside was that the swelling had gone down.

 

"Here," Mei said, handing him the splint. 

 

Guang Hong sighed, carefully sliding it over his injured hand. 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Guang Hong had never felt so unsteady in his skating career. 

 

Usually, when he skated he always tried to take a risk, to go beyond what was expected of him. He was never one to play it safe.

 

But, now, it was all he could think about. Several of his triples turned into doubles and once, a double into a single.

 

The commentator’s harsh criticisms rang in his ears. It felt like no matter what he did, his jumps were lackluster and his step sequence was uninspiring.

 

For the first time, Guang Hong couldn't wait for the music to stop.

 

Once in the Kiss and Cry, Mei put an arm around his shoulders as his scores were announced. Guang Hong wiped at his eyes, fearing that he'd start crying. 

 

"It's okay, sweetheart," Mei said softly, leading him to the stands.

 

Guang Hong tried to ignore the disappointment he felt but it was utterly overwhelming.

 

But then Leo stepped onto the ice and took Guang Hong's breath away as usual.

 

"Jiayou!" Guang Hong called at the top of his lungs. Leo turned and gave him an award-winning smile and Guang Hong couldn't help the way his heart began beating out of his chest. 

 

Leo's performance was bold and awe-inspiring. It made Guang Hong want to jump onto the ice again, despite wanting nothing more to do with it minutes before. 

 

Guang Hong supposed that Leo had always lit that fire inside him. The one that made him want to never stop skating, to forget his fears and chase his ambitions. It was addicting and Guang Hong was sure he'd never get enough. 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Guang Hong found himself cuddled up next to Leo for a second time this trip. He stared at the bronze medal laying atop Leo's suitcase. He tried to focus on his pride for Leo, rather than the disappointment he felt for himself for coming in fifth. 

 

As everyone had predicted, Yuri Plisetsky wiped the floors with his competitors and snatched up gold easily. What  _was_  surprising was the talented Czech skater snagging the silver. Though Guang Hong supposed he definitely deserved it, his jumps were impressive, and his programs had been stunning. 

 

"I can hear you thinking from over here," Leo chuckled, propping himself up on his elbow.

 

Leo leaned down until his forehead was touching Guang Hong’s and closed his eyes in bliss. Guang Hong thought, for perhaps the hundredth time that night, that Leo would be gone all too soon. 

 

Leo would be leaving ridiculously early in the morning, so early that Guang Hong wouldn't be able to see him before his plane departed. Usually, they had more time together, but Sofía had to get home to tend to a heavily pregnant sister three days past her due date. 

 

"What's on your mind?" Leo asked, pulling away to look Guang Hong in the eye. 

 

"How much I'll miss you," Guang Hong said softly.

 

Leo smiled, but was cut off from saying anything by Guang Hong's phone ringing loudly. 

 

Guang Hong sighed and picked up his phone. He was surprised to see how late it was, and less surprised to see it was Mei who was calling. 

 

Unfortunately, Mei's call was to tell him it was time to go to bed, and he needed to return to their hotel room. 

 

Guang Hong sighed dramatically as he ended the call. 

 

"What's up?" Leo asked.

 

"I gotta go," Guang Hong groaned.

 

"Awh, I was hoping we had a little longer," Leo griped.

 

"At least I'll be coming to America soon," Guang Hong said, attempting to be optimistic. 

 

"Well, I'll miss you 'til then," Leo said, untangling himself from Guang Hong, and sliding out of bed. 

 

"I'll miss you, too," Guang Hong replied, throwing his arms around Leo. 

 

Leaving Leo hurt less now, not because they were growing apart, but because they'd grown so much closer. 

 

Guang Hong wondered how close they could become. He'd recently realized that he'd have to start taking risks if he wanted to find out. 

 

So, Guang Hong pulled back from the hug, took two seconds to work up the courage, and stood on his tippy toes to place a kiss on Leo's lips for the second time in his life.

 

And this time he didn't run, didn't even feel the urge to. 

 

Instead, he never wanted to leave. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so ridiculously late, but i actually purposely didnt update this is favor of finishing up another fic I was writing! but the good news is now this is the only fic im working on!! so updates should be much quicker
> 
> that aside this story is steadily progressing(and getting gayer) and I just realized I have no idea when im ending it? like this was supposed to be a childhood AU fic so after a few more chapters i'll have caught up with the anime. so, i might end it there? what do you guys thinkk? i can always make a sequel if anyone wants to see more of this! 
> 
> also sorry if that description of Guang Hongs injury grossed you out. I actually experienced a very similar injury, well at least i think i did but i never received medical attention for it so i guess i'll never know. to this day i can move my pinky separately from all my other fingers (you can actually feel where the ligaments disconnected) its kinda gross
> 
> as always kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!
> 
> updated and betaed
> 
> my tumblr- happytreasuree


	11. Chance At Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Translations at bottom

This would be the first year Leo was competing in the senior division and, more importantly, the first year he wouldn't be competing with Guang Hong. 

 

Leo's last season in the junior division hadn't ended bad. He took bronze at the Grandprix, placed fourth at Worlds, and even took silver at Four Continents. 

 

That had been his last competition with Guang Hong, and Leo remembered it vividly. Both of them had medaled, he took second place and Guang Hong third. Of course, their winnings had left them in high spirits. Guang Hong wasted no time kissing him the minute they were alone. 

 

That had become more common—Guang Hong stealing kisses whenever he deemed a moment worthy of one. Every time, it left Leo's head spinning and his heart beating a mile a minute. Although, he was hesitant to return the favor. He didn't want to push Guang Hong too far and break the fragile rhythm they'd set in place. The relationship they had was delicate, so much so that Leo didn't even have a name to stick to it. Were they boyfriends? Still just best friends? Surely, they were more than that. 

 

"Leo," a tiny voice said from behind his bedroom door, ripping him from his thoughts.

 

Leo got up hastily, curious as to what at least one of his four-year-old sisters were doing up at nearly three in the morning. When he opened his door, he was greeted by both twins.

 

"Leo," Abril said in a wobbly voice, her lower lip jutting out. 

 

"Oh, mi corazón," Leo cooed, "What's wrong?" 

 

Abril began crying again, and pointed to the room she shared with her sisters. 

 

Everyone in the de la Iglesia household shared a room. Well, Leo didn't anymore because his roommate and older brother Javier had moved out to attend college. However, his two younger brothers, Emilio and Carlos, shared a room while the twins and his little sister, Valentina, roomed together. The only exception was Maria—although her room was significantly smaller than the others. 

 

Abril began whining again and tugging at his arm. Leo became concerned as to what made her so distraught she wouldn't use her words. 

 

Instead of pushing her to speak, Leo followed the twins to their bedroom. When Leo opened the door, he was met with the sight of Valentina curled up in a ball on her bed, tears streaming down her face. She looked like she was about to speak, but instead her eyes widened, and she leaned over her bed to puke. 

 

"Val!" Leo yelped, rushing over to her. 

 

Leo stood over his sister, afraid to touch her. She had complained of an upset stomach and a headache the day before, and their mother had planned to take her to the doctor the next morning.

 

Leo assumed she had some type of stomach bug, but he was too scared to move her as he didn't want to get puked on. He tentatively placed a hand on her forehead. "Dios mío, you're burning up," Leo whispered. 

 

All the noise he was making must have alerted his siblings, as Maria popped her head into the room seconds later. 

 

"Val! What happened?" Maria said urgently. 

 

"¡Yo no sé! Abril woke me up and I found her like-" 

 

Suddenly Valentina cut him off, letting out a gut-wrenching scream. 

 

Maria ran back out of the room, bypassing his two younger brothers who stood in fear by the doorway. 

 

"¡Ayuda!" Maria yelled from the banister, trying wake their parents who slept downstairs. 

 

"Me duele," Valentina whimpered pitifully. 

 

Leo heard his parents rushing upstairs, as Valentina began sobbing again clutching her stomach. 

 

The next few minutes passed in a blur as his parents quickly carried Valentina to the car, and wasted no time speeding off to the hospital. Maria accompanied them, holding Valentina in the backseat as she cried. 

 

Leo and his remaining siblings were left standing in the driveway, with excess adrenaline running through their veins. 

 

Leo turned to see his two younger brothers, each holding a twin who were both in hysterics. 

 

"Come on, go get dressed," Leo urged, "We'll meet them at the hospital."

 

 

-

 

 

Leo jolted awake, to the ear-numbing sound that was his phone's incessant ringing. He slowly opened his eyes, taking in his family who were all dozing, taking up almost all the chairs in the waiting room.

 

He clumsily fumbled with his phone, attempting to retrieve it from his pocket. 

 

"You want to explain where you are, tonto?" Sofía barked, in a demanding voice.

 

"Oh, Sofía," Leo said, cringing at how his voice cracked, "Val is in the hospital."

 

"You're nearly an ho- Wait, what?" Sofía cut herself off when she processed Leo's response.

 

"They said her appendix burst; I think she's still in surgery," Leo explained hastily. 

 

"Oh my god, take the day off, Leo. And please let me know if she's okay, once she's out of surgery," Sofía said.

 

"Of course," Leo responded.

 

"Alright, take care," Sofía said sincerely.

 

"You too," he replied, before ending the call. 

 

Before he had the chance to look through his other notifications, the doctor walked through the door. Everyone became attentive as they pushed away their sleepiness.

 

"She's still a little out of it, due to the anesthesia, but she'll make a full recovery," the doctor informed them.

 

The de la Iglesia family sighed in relief.

 

 

-

 

 

It was late in the day when Leo finally looked at his phone again. He scrolled through his notifications before his eyes widened at a missed call from Guang Hong. 

 

Leo had completely forgotten that Guang Hong was coming to America today. He hoped he hadn't worried him too much. 

 

It seemed Guang Hong had only left three text messages and a voice mail. Leo opened his messages first.

 

Guang Hong (3:37 AM): I'm so excited to see you I can't sleep!!

 

Guang Hong (4:57 AM): I got to the rink early. I'll see you soon.

 

Guang Hong: (12:46 PM): Where are you? I'm worried.

 

Leo quickly pulled up his voice mail box to play Guang Hong's message.

 

_"Hey Leo, I was calling to make sure if you're okay. I can’t focus without you here. I'm worried, please call me soon."_

 

Leo bit the inside of his cheek, he felt bad for leaving Guang Hong wondering. Granted, it was an emergency, but that didn't stop the guilt.

 

He quickly pushed the face time button. Almost immediately, Guang Hong's excited face popped into view. His hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat and his cheeks were flushed. 

 

"Leo!" he exclaimed.

 

"Guang Hong, I'm so sorry!" Leo immediately apologized.

 

"Where were you today?" Guang Hong asked.

 

"Valentina had to go to the hospital really early this morning, and I was just so overwhelmed I didn't even check my phone," Leo explained.

 

Guang Hong gasped, "Is she okay?" 

 

"Her appendix burst, but she should be okay," Leo assured him. 

 

"That's good. I missed you today, though," he admitted.

 

"I'll be there tomorrow," Leo said excitedly, "And I can't wait to see you!"

 

"Me too!" Guang Hong beamed. 

 

 

-

 

 

Leo was absolutely exhausted by the time he got home from the hospital. Valentina would have to spend a few more nights, but Leo and the rest of his siblings had headed back home. 

 

He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, and his alarm seemed to ring all too soon. Despite his sleepiness, the thought of seeing Guang Hong again had him jumping out of bed. 

 

He made it to the rink early, albeit maybe a little too early, as he beat everyone else there. However, it seemed Guang Hong shared his eagerness as he arrived only five minutes later. 

 

Their meeting followed a similar fashion of Guang Hong jumping into Leo's arms. Although, this time Guang Hong placed a kiss behind Leo's ear that sent a shiver down his spine, and made him want to hold on tighter. 

 

When they finally separated, Leo took in Guang Hong's appearance properly. His hair had grown out slightly and it curled around his ears, nearly covering one eye. He must've gotten some sun recently, as the freckles across his cheeks seemed more prominent than usual.

 

"What's in your hand?" Guang Hong asked, tearing Leo from his thoughts.

 

"Oh, it's a gift for you!" Leo explained, handing over the poorly-wrapped present. 

 

"A gift?" Guang Hong said, tilting his head in a ridiculously cute fashion.

 

"Well, we didn't get to celebrate your sixteenth birthday together, but I wanted to get you a present," he responded.

 

"Awh, Leo you didn't have to!" Guang Hong said, although he was already ripping off the wrapping paper. Guang Hong smiled widely when he pulled out the phone case Leo had picked out for him. It was purple with little teddy bears decorating it. "It's so cute!" Guang Hong enthused.

 

"There's also some gift cards to your favorite shops," Leo smiled.

 

"You're the best!" Guang Hong beamed, pulling out the gift cards.

 

"You better be doing warm ups when I get inside," Mei called from behind the door. 

 

Leo and Guang Hong scrambled onto the ice in response to her threat.

 

 

-

 

 

Leo blushed as he viewed Guang Hong's Snapchat story. Other than the ridiculously cute selfie, there was a video of Leo driving singing along to a song, which Guang Hong had captioned with a heart. 

 

"What are you looking at?" Guang Hong said softly. 

 

"Hm? Oh, nothing. Is there anywhere else you want to go?" Leo asked.

 

Guang Hong pursed his lips for a moment, before his eyes lit up, "I want a smoothie."

 

"I could actually go for a smoothie," Leo agreed. 

 

"Yay!" Guang Hong cheered, his many shopping bags swinging behind him as he skipped over to the directory. 

 

With the help of the directions, they were able to find the smoothie shop. Guang Hong proceeded to purchase the largest size-not even fazed by the fact that he could barely fit it in his hands. Leo didn't doubt that Guang Hong could out-eat him. He wondered where Guang Hong put it all sometimes; he probably had crazy fast metabolism. 

 

"Hey, Leo?" Guang Hong asked, taking another sip of his drink. 

 

"Yes?" Leo said, resting his head on his hand.

 

Guang Hong paused for a moment, "If this is okay, how come it will never work?" 

 

Leo didn't need to ask what it was Guang Hong was asking about. 

 

"What do you mean?" Leo questioned, "It'd work like any other relationship."

 

"Yes, but if everyone knew-"

 

"Not everyone needs to know. You know that, right?"

 

Suddenly, it occurred to Leo that maybe happy and successful weren't compatible with secret in Guang Hong's mind. Where Guang Hong was from, secret lovers stayed that way because there was no happy coming out stories to be told. 

 

 

"Well, then it's not really like any other relationship, is it?" Guang Hong asked bitterly, although Leo could tell his anger was more directed at the world than him.

 

"I guess you're right," Leo admitted, "But, just because it’s secret, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it."

 

Guang Hong gave him a skeptical look and, once again, Leo had to remind himself that Guang Hong equated hiding with burning shame—a shame that was so strong, it scared Leo when it showed itself.  

 

"Well, why else would you keep it a secret, if you weren't ashamed?"

 

"Sometimes it has less to do with your own shame, and more to do with others. I'm not obligated to share any part of myself with the world, and I don't think I deserve the hate I may receive," Leo said honestly. 

 

"You're so cool," Guang Hong said suddenly, wide-eyed and determined.

 

"Wait, what?!" Leo sputtered, confused by the reaction. 

 

"I wish I was like you," Guang Hong said earnestly, "I wish I thought that way."

 

"You can," Leo promised, "It'll just take time." 

 

Leo knew it would take time, and a lot of it, for Guang Hong to stop equating hiding with self-hatred, but he had decided a long time ago that he didn't care how long it took. 

 

 

 

-

 

 

"Hey, Val really appreciated the teddy bear you got her," Leo said, as they were warming up the next day.

 

"Oh, of course! I know if I was in the hospital I'd want something like that," Guang Hong responded.

 

"You're so sweet!" Leo cooed.

 

"You're doing that thing again," Guang Hong accused, wrinkling his nose as he turned red.

 

"What thing?" Leo said innocently.

 

"That think where you try to make me blush," Guang Hong said, crossing his arms as tried to act annoyed.

 

"Is it working?" Leo said with a smirk.

 

Guang Hong squinted at Leo, "You know damn well it is," he deadpanned.

 

Leo laughed loudly, "But it's so cute when you blush!" 

 

"I better see more skating and less chit-chat!" Sofía called from behind the barrier.

 

Guang Hong threw Leo a look that said 'yikes' before focusing properly on warm ups.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Leo watched, amazed, as Guang Hong once again attempted a quad toe loop. He fell again, in fact, he hadn't landed it at all yet, but Leo had to admit that his determination was inspiring. 

 

Despite this season being his senior debut, he wouldn't be adding any quads to his program. Guang Hong, however, had already decided he would be including a quad in his program next year during his debut. Although it wouldn't be a part of his skating this year, Mei still allowed him to try and land quads at the end of practice. 

 

"You're getting better," Leo praised, when Guang Hong limped off the ice. He must've gained a myriad of new bruises.

 

Guang Hong scoffed and rolled his eyes in response. 

 

"Hey, I'm serious," Leo said, "You're an amazing skater."

 

"I think you're the one who's sweet," Guang Hong teased.

 

"I dunno I think I'm pretty mean," Leo joked.

 

Guang Hong snorted, "I don't think you could hurt a fly."

 

"Yeah, you're right, I'm a total wimp," Leo agreed, "I bet you could knock a couple of heads together, though."

 

"Yeah, maybe if I wasn't like half the size of everyone else," Guang Hong pointed out.

 

"I dunno, I feel like the anger is more concentrated in short people," Leo smirked.

 

"Hey!" Guang Hong said, nudging Leo with his elbow.

 

“See!” Lep said dramatically, “Such aggression!”

 

It didn't faze Leo anymore, how easily conversation came to them. It was like no matter how long they were apart, or what mood one of them happened to be in, they could always fall into a comfortable, calming conversation. 

 

Sadly, all too soon, Mei called Guang Hong over so they could head home and they were forced to say their goodbyes for the day. 

 

Leo watched as Guang Hong scampered over to Mei's side, following her out of the rink. 

 

"C'mon, Lover Boy," Sofía said, "It’s time to go home. You can Skype him tonight or something."

 

Sofía, Leo decided, was full of good ideas.

 

 

-

 

 

"Do you think the scar will be cool or ugly?" Valentina asked him, in a small voice.

 

"It will most definitely look very badass," Leo assured her, carefully removing a block from the Jenga tower.

 

Valentina pretended to be affronted, "That's a dollar for the swear jar," she declared.

 

"I'm gonna go broke if I keep hanging out with you," Leo teased.

 

"Hey, Leo?" Valentina spoke up again, after few moments of silence.

 

"Yes?"

 

"Is Guang Hong your boyfriend?" 

 

Having five younger siblings, Leo was no stranger to the lack of tact that children possessed. Still, the question had him stuttering and blushing like mad.

 

"Uhm, well- uh- He's like-" Leo began.

 

"You like him though, right?" she pried.

 

Leo sighed in resignation, "Yes, I like him."

 

"Well, you should date him because I think he's pretty cool," Valentina advised. 

 

Leo chuckled, "Hopefully it'll all work out."

 

"I think it will," Valentina said confidently.

 

"What makes you so sure?" Leo questioned.

 

"Because Mamá told me that when two people make each other very happy, they're meant to be together," Valentina explained, in a voice that was oddly sage for a seven-year-old.

 

"Is that so?" Leo asked.

 

"Yes! And it's true, because moms are never wrong," she informed him.

 

Leo sure hoped that was the case.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 "I'm excited to compete in the senior division with you!" Phichit chirped, his voice slightly staticky through Skype. 

 

"Me too. Although, I'll admit I'm a little scared," Leo revealed, pulling his covers farther up to escape the chilly night air. 

 

"I'm not gonna lie, it's a little overwhelming. But, hey, it's new competition," Phichit pointed out.

 

"True," Leo agreed, "What's your theme this season?"

 

"Perseverance," Phichit said, "It's kinda tacky in my opinion, but Caio Caio thinks it looks good. What about you?"

 

"New beginnings," Leo responded.

 

"Fitting," Phichit commented, "What about G?" 

 

"I believe his has to do with breaking down boundaries," Leo smiled.

 

"Awh, I'm so proud of him," Phichit mused.

 

"Yeah, he's come pretty far," Leo said with a smile, "What about Yuuri, how's he doing?" 

 

"His programs are amazing this season!" Phichit gushed, "I wouldn't be surprised if he made it to the finals this year." 

 

Leo raised his eyebrows, "Wow, tell him I said good luck." 

 

"Will do," Phichit assured, before continuing with a smirk on his face, "Now that we've gotten all the formalities out of the way, give me some gossip."

 

"What do you mean?" Leo asked, refusing to look Phichit in the eye.

 

"Well, about you and Guang Hong, of course," Phichit said slyly.

 

Leo could already feel his cheeks heating up. Tonight would be a long night. 

 

 

-

 

 

Abigail had always had sensory issues. She'd tear all her clothes off if they so much as touched her skin the wrong way, and cried when she couldn't. Leo was pretty sure having to dress Abigail in the morning had given his mother numerous headaches. However, in addition to hating certain sensations, Abigail also loved others. She'd often rub certain fabrics she liked all over her face and hands. 

 

One particular texture Abigail adored was paint.

 

So, that's how Leo found himself on his day off—monitoring his baby sisters as they finger-painted on a huge canvas on the garage floor, that his mother had bought for this exact reason. 

 

Surprisingly, when Leo mentioned his day plans to Guang Hong, he was intrigued and readily accepted Leo's offer to join in.

 

Guang Hong was supposed to arrive at eleven in the morning, so Leo got up around nine to get ready. 

 

He took out the cars out of the garage and placed the huge canvas, which had previously been leaning against the wall, onto the floor.

 

Next, he had to wake up his little sisters. All of them had wanted to join in, so he had three little girls to dress and feed. 

 

Leo himself only planned to wear an old pair of gym shorts, as he knew that he'd end up covered in paint. He tied his hair up in hopes it'd save it from the paint, even though he knew it was hopeless.

 

He made sure all his sisters were dressed in old bathing suits before making pancakes for breakfast. 

 

He was rinsing off their plates when he heard the doorbell ring. As expected, Guang Hong was there. He had, thankfully, heeded Leo's advice and worn old clothes; except Guang Hong had worn a soft oversized shirt and sleeping shorts. Leo would be lying if he said he didn't catch himself staring at Guang Hong's collar bones and legs longer than he should have.

 

After cleaning up breakfast's aftermath, he led them to the garage.

 

Abigail squealed in excitement at the sight of the canvas. She immediately ran over to the open cans of paint and began dipping her hands in them. Abril seemed content to finger-paint a bit more leisurely. Guang Hong sat down next to Abril, complimenting her scribbles. 

 

Leo followed suit, before realizing Valentina was still standing at the edge of the garage. Guang Hong seemed to notice too. 

 

"Val, do you want to come paint with us?" he asked politely. 

 

Valentina bit her lip and tugged at the bottom of her shirt.

 

That's when Leo realized she had put on a shirt on over her bathing suit before Guang Hong came over.

 

"Val, Mamá will be upset if you get that shirt dirty," Leo said tentatively.

 

Valentina eyed Guang Hong cautiously, before slowly pulling off the shirt, still holding it in front of her scar. 

 

"I bet it's super cool," Guang Hong blurted out.

 

"Huh?" Valentina said in confusion.

 

"Your scar," Guang Hong elaborated.

 

"Really?" Valentina asked, wide-eyed.

 

"Yeah, chicks dig scars," Leo chimed in with a joke.

 

Shyly, Valentina dropped her shirt and slowly approached everyone else.

 

Guang Hong glanced at the curved scar on Valentina's stomach and gave her a smile. Leo watched closely as Guang Hong dipped a finger into a bucket of black paint, and motioned for Valentina to come closer. Carefully, he placed two black dots above her scar.

 

Valentina stared at it for a moment, before her face lit up. "It's a smiley face!" she exclaimed. 

 

The rest of the day was filled with splashed paint and smiles.

 

Guang Hong found it hilarious when Leo picked Abigail up and allowed her to dip her feet in the paint so she could walk around the canvas. Leo couldn’t stop laughing when Abril decided she’d cover Guang Hong’s toe nails-with hot pink paint. Although,  _everyone_  burst out into uncontrollable laughter when Abigail decided she’d grab Leo’s ponytail with a paint-covered hand.

 

Eventually, someone knocked over a can of paint, covering a portion of the garage floor in orange. Abigail, of course, decided this was a great opportunity to sit down in the paint and start covering her legs with it. 

 

"Abigail," Leo chided, but immediately regretted getting her attention as he realized he was now a target.

 

Abigail waddled up to him and swiftly placed both her palms on his cheeks. Leo scrunched up his nose and removed her hands. Guang Hong must've found Leo's predicament funny because he giggled, which caught Abigail's attention. Realizing that he had invoked her paint-y wrath, Guang Hong willingly turned a cheek toward Abigail who gladly smeared one hand down it. 

 

Guang Hong giggled and turned to Leo. Flecks of paint scattered his body head-to-toe, with four prominent orange stripes down one cheek. 

 

Despite the old clothes, disheveled hair and copious amounts of paint, Leo couldn't help but think that Guang Hong looked ridiculously beautiful.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

It was often that Leo drove them somewhere to eat on their lunch break. 

 

Today, Guang Hong insisted they pick up something from a small café and eat in a park. The park was surprisingly empty for the time of day, therefore providing them some privacy.

 

Leo had noticed Guang Hong had been quieter than usual, so he was surprised when Guang Hong suddenly started talking.

 

"I want to take a chance at happiness with you," Guang Hong rushed out.

 

"Uh- I-," Leo stuttered, stunned by Guang Hong's outburst.

 

"I realized that I don't want to be scared anymore, Leo," Guang Hong said firmly. 

 

"And you don't have to be, but you don't have to push yourself," Leo said softly.

 

Guang Hong tensed up for a moment. "You want this too, right?" 

 

"Yes, of course, I do," Leo assured him, "I just want you to be sure  _you_  do."

 

"I've wanted this for a long time, and I've only recently worked up the courage to admit I want to be with you," Guang Hong said honestly.

 

"Well, I want to be with you too," Leo confessed.

 

Guang Hong paused for a moment, "I want to believe that I have a chance at happiness despite being who I am, and no matter how scared I am of it, I know that my happiness is with you."

 

Leo felt a surge of emotions at Guang Hong's words. The rawness of it all. 

 

"Well, Guang Hong Ji, I'm proud that I can officially call you my boyfriend," Leo said smugly.

 

Guang Hong had the audacity to blush despite his previous boldness. 

 

Leo leaned forward, and Guang Hong followed suit meeting Leo halfway across the table for a kiss. 

 

And, in that moment, it was just them, not the other people in the park, not the onlookers, and not the shame Guang Hong so horribly feared. 

 

Leo leaned back surveying Guang Hong's reaction, hoping he wouldn't find fear or regret in his eyes. 

 

To his relief, all he saw was happiness. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mi corazón- translates to 'my heart' is a term of endearment 
> 
> Dios mío- my god
> 
> yo no sé - i don't know
> 
> Auyda - help 
> 
> me duele - it hurts 
> 
> tonto- idiot 
> 
> sorry this took longer than i intended!
> 
> I was in Hawaii for a while and i was kinda lazy
> 
> anyway, THE SLOW BURN IS FINALLY OVER WHOO HOOO!!!! it only took 11 chapters lmao 
> 
> if youd like to see this fic turned into a series please let me know !!
> 
> as always kudos and comments are so very greatly appreciated 
> 
> my tumblr - happytreasuree 
> 
> also i was discussing the future of this fic w digi and like yall i have big plans so I hope youll stick with it if this becomes a series (which it probably will)


	12. Turning Out

Guang Hong: I'm gayer than I thought 

 

Phichit: aren't we all? 

 

Phichit: but why the sudden realization? 

 

Phichit: did you finally confess your love for Leo lmao

 

Guang Hong: Yes

 

Phichit: wait what??!

 

Phichit: you better not be messing w me G!!

 

Phichit: tell me everything!!

 

 

 

-

 

 

It was still rather surreal to Guang Hong. The thought of dating Leo was never one he let himself entertain.

 

It was always far too real, and far too scary to think about. In fact, he hadn't even told Mei yet—the prospect of it was still too frightening. He'd only worked up the courage to tell Phichit, and that had mostly been on a whim. 

 

Despite his increased fear of being discovered, he still indulged in Leo's new open affection for him. Before, it seemed like he held back sometimes, and Guang Hong could tell it was because Leo didn't want to make him uncomfortable. But now that they were dating, his walls had come down, and everything was more open.  

 

It was liberating, at least it was for Guang Hong. He'd never been so self-indulgent. 

 

His phone chimed, dragging his attention away from his musings. He glanced at the screen to see a message from Leo. Upon opening it he realized it was a video. The message Leo had send after it read:  _'the girls missed you!'_

 

Curious, Guang Hong pressed play. He was greeted by the image of Leo's three little sisters all sitting in front of a giant canvas— this one new and not drenched in paint. 

 

"Hi, Guang Hong," Valentina chirped, waving at the camera.

 

"Hi!" Abril said, imitating her older sister. On the other hand, Abigail just sat quietly, giving the camera a toothy smile.

 

"Abi, say hi," Valentina nudged her younger sister. Abigail shyly waved at the camera in response.

 

"Do you want to show Guang Hong what you made?" Leo asked from behind the camera. 

 

"Yeah!" Valentina and Abril cheered. 

 

The camera panned out to the rest of the canvas, where "Good Luck Guang Hong!" was written in scribbly children's handwriting. Numerous handprints, smiley faces, and hearts adorned the space next to the words.

 

Guang Hong was fairly sure his heart had melted completely by the time the video ended.

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

“Mei,” Guang Hong said quietly, one day towards the end of practice. The rink was quiet and tranquil as most the other patrons had already left.

 

“Yes,” Mei said, giving Guang Hong her full attention when she noticed his change in demeanor.

 

“I did what you said,” Guang Hong whispered, cheeks on fire as he spoke, “and I’m really happy.”

 

Mei gave Guang Hong a smile that made him feel unconditionally loved, “I’m so proud of you.”

 

Guang Hong looked away, unable to meet her eyes, overwhelmed by her unwavering acceptance.

 

“I want you to know that I think Leo is an amazing person, and I know that he makes you so happy. I remember I once told you ‘don’t let that American boy get in the way of your skating’ but now I can see I was foolish to be wary of your friendship. Leo’s not only made you a better skater but a stronger person and I truly think you two are good for each other,” Mei said sincerely.

 

Guang Hong nodded, “I think so too.”

 

Mei put a hand on Guang Hong’s shoulder before placing a quick kiss on his forehead, “Just know I’ll always love you, okay? Even if you don’t love yourself sometimes.”

 

And boy, that hit Guang Hong _hard_. He couldn’t even begin to find the words for how grateful he was, so instead he wrapped Mei in a tight hug, hoping she’d understand the depth of his feelings. 

 

 

 

-

 

 

Guang Hong would be competing in Russia for the first qualifying event, and away from Leo. There would be no one there for Guang Hong to lean on. While he was upset, he was also slightly excited to stand on his own. 

 

Now that he had finally begun to accept himself, he wanted to share it with the rest of the world. His program would revolve around breaking down boundaries. 

 

It was still a scary subject to Guang Hong, but Leo had instilled a braveness in him that he was determined to take ahold of. 

 

Practice was brutal; Mei refused to hold back. She knew competition was tough, and she didn't want to let Guang Hong fall behind.

 

"Good, Guang Hong! But try to make the spin a bit tighter," she advised. 

 

Guang Hong nodded, redoing the spin and nailing it this time. He turned to smile at Mei, and flashed her a thumbs up. 

 

This was his last year in the junior division, and he was determined to see himself succeed and become China's hero.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

"How do you think you'll do in Skate America?" Guang Hong asked, adjusting his laptop so Leo could have a better view of him through his webcam.

 

"I'm happy to be competing in my home country, but I think competition will be tough," Leo admitted. 

 

"Yeah, Mei's really pushing me. She wants me to medal in my last junior season," Guang Hong explained. 

 

"You will," Leo assured, "Your program is amazing this season." 

 

Guang Hong blushed and mumbled a quick ‘thank you’, changing the subject before Leo could make his cheeks any redder. "I'm excited to see you compete in seniors this year!" Guang Hong said happily.

 

Leo pursed his lip, "I don't think I'll make it to the finals this year."

 

"The senior division is scary," Guang Hong agreed, "but regardless if you make it or not, I can't wait to see you in competition." 

 

"You're so sweet," Leo cooed. 

 

Guang Hong blushed, rolling his eyes, "I miss you," he whispered.

 

"I miss you too," Leo smiled, "and I can't wait to see you again." 

 

"I wish I could just move to America," Guang Hong mused.

 

"Wouldn't you miss your family and friends?" Leo asked. 

 

"I grew apart from most my friends because of how busy I am. Besides Yuqing, no one really kept in contact with me," Guang Hong admitted. 

 

"What about your family?" 

 

"Both my parents work, and I'm barely home. I'm not very close to them. Besides Mei, I don't have anybody who would keep me in China. I mean, I'd miss my home country, but America is like a second home to me by now." 

 

Leo nodded in understanding, "Well, even if you want to move on day you should show me around your home town before you do." 

 

Guang Hong smirked, "Yeah, if you ever happen to be in China at the same time as me, then I'd love to show you the sights." 

 

"Maybe we'll compete in the Cup of China together next year," Leo said hopefully. 

 

"Yeah, that'd be fun," Guang Hong agreed. 

 

Leo looked as if he was about to speak but was cut off by a sudden yawn. 

 

"It's late where you are, you should get some sleep," Guang Hong said with a small smile. 

 

Leo groaned, "But I wanna keep talking to you."

 

"Whatever you want," Guang Hong said sweetly, knowing Leo would fall asleep any minute.

 

And he did. Not even five minutes later, Guang Hong could hear Leo's slowed-down breathing, and see his face buried in his pillow, hair askew. Guang Hong smiled at how cute he looked. 

 

It was little moments like these that made Guang Hong feel a little less than thousands of miles away from Leo.

 

 

-

 

 

 

Guang Hong lugged his suitcase into the hotel room that he'd be staying at during his first qualifying event this year. He saw some familiar competitors, and some brand-new skaters that Guang Hong worried would give him trouble. 

 

Yuri Plisetsky would, of course, be his biggest competition, but Guang Hong didn't want to rule out any underdogs. He desperately wanted to end his last junior competition with a bang. He'd worked hard to get to where he was, and he'd be damned if he left the rink disappointed with his performance. 

 

Still, something ate at him slightly. Without Leo by his side, he didn't feel as fiery or competitive. They had always encouraged each other and, without Leo to compete against, it felt less intense, less passionate. But Guang Hong supposed, after this year, he'd be on the same ice as Leo again, and he'd once again light that fire inside Guang Hong that made him feel like he was on top of the world.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Guang Hong couldn't tell if competition seemed to drag on, or go by in the blink of an eye without his friends with him. His short program was underwhelming in his eyes but it still landed him in third place and, with the free skate starting, he was determined to skate his heart out. 

 

When his name was announced, he skated onto the ice with a deep breath. Skating was his everything; he put an immense amount of effort into it because he simply had a love for it that was so overwhelming. He tried to focus on his love for skating alone, and not the fact that it was so strong because he shared the love of it with Leo.

 

Because he could do this, even without Leo cheering him on. He was strong in his own right. He was China's hero.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

In the end, Guang Hong secured himself another silver medal. Usually, Guang Hong hated second place because it was  _so_  close to first. It was impossible not to think about every little mistake he made, and how it hindered him from taking gold. Except this time, Guang Hong saw it as space to grow. Next time, he'd take gold or beat his previous score. 

 

And he did. The next qualifying event Guang Hong stood tall and proud on the podium, brandishing his gold medal. 

 

The season was flying by faster than he could keep up with, and before he knew it, Leo was competing in his third qualifying event.

 

Guang Hong laid in his bed, laptop balancing on his chest and pulled up to his chin, as he live streamed Leo's performance. 

 

"Jiayou," Guang Hong whispered softly, as he watched Leo take his starting pose which had him standing tall, arms by his sides—a stance that made him look mature Guang Hong’s opinion. It was then that he realized how much Leo had grown. He was eighteen now, and it showed in his physique, the way he held himself to his quick reactions and how he handled situations. Guang Hong, unfortunately, still looked twelve and, on occasion, didn’t act his age. Guang Hong knew that he’d always looked up to Leo, and he still did, despite entering the seniors' division just next year and being only a year younger than Leo.

 

But then the music began, and all Guang Hong could focus on was his screen. Leo's movements were as graceful as ever and Guang Hong felt himself falling in love with skating itself all over again. Despite just finishing a grueling practice, Guang Hong wanted to jump back on the ice after seeing Leo skate. 

 

As always, it managed to take his breath away in the best way possible. 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

"I'm still so proud of you!" Guang Hong cooed. 

 

Despite the grainy quality of Skype, Guang Hong could clearly see Leo roll his eyes.

 

"I am! You did amazing," Guang Hong said firmly.

 

"I knew it was unlikely I'd make it to the finals, but I was still hopeful," Leo sighed. 

 

"You did amazing for your first time in the senior division, and I can't wait for next season so I can compete with you!" Guang Hong beamed.

 

"God, I can't wait to see you again," Leo said sincerely. 

 

Guang Hong felt himself blush, "Me too. I'll be coming back to America soon, though."

 

"And, for that, I can't wait," Leo smiled softly.

 

“You’re so mushy,” Guan Hong accused.

 

“Mushy?” Leo snickered, raising an eyebrow.

 

“I can’t find the words in English, but you make me feel all ridiculously happy and…” Guang Hong trailed off unable to find the right word.

 

“Mushy?” Leo supplied.

 

Guang Hong rolled his eyes “Yes, you make me feel all mushy.”

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

"Guys!" Phichit screeched over the group Skype call they were participating in, "Yuuri made it to the finals!" 

 

"Oh my god, really?" Guang Hong gasped, "That's amazing!"

 

"I'm not that surprised—he did amazing in competition!" Leo complimented.

 

"We all have to make sure to cheer him on in the finals," Phchit said, "I want to see him win." 

 

"Of course, we'll cheer him on!" Guang Hong chirped.

 

"Yeah, I'm sure he'll be able to snatch a medal," Leo said confidently.

 

"This is just so exciting!" Phichit gushed, "I wish I could have made it to the finals, but seeing Yuuri live his dreams is as amazing." 

 

"I'm sure you'll make it to the finals next year," Guang Hong responded, "You did so amazing this year and there's no way you won't qualify."

 

"Awh, Guang Hong you're so sweet and encouraging," Phichit crooned. 

 

"Guang Hong is the actual best, to be honest," Leo stated.

 

"He really is," Phichit agreed.

 

Guang Hong covered his face with his hands, "Stop! You're making me blush."

 

"That's the goal," Leo smirked.

 

“Anyway,” Phichit interjected, keeping the conversation from derailing, “Who wants to hear some gossip?

 

As he began, Guang Hong mentally prepared himself for a long and interesting tale.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Sochi was very beautiful, but Guang Hong wasn't as excited to sight-see as he usually was. The excursions he'd usually participate in were always enhanced by Leo or Phichit's presence. Without Phichit’s hilarious commentary or Leo’s endearing compliments, his experiences couldn’t help but feel a little duller. Now that Guang Hong was alone, he felt rather awkward around some of the other skaters. He decided it was probably better just to stick by Mei for this trip. 

 

Guang Hong could barely remember preparing for his short program as it went by in a flash. He almost felt like he was just going through the motions. The entire season Guang Hong had always felt more comfortable preforming his short—

it was just less personal in his eyes. In his head, he saw his short program as breaking down the boundaries that came with pursuing a career as a professional figure skater at a young age. It was a way of expressing that he would follow his dreams no matter what. On the other hand, his free skate, to him, was a way of expressing his feelings for Leo and how he struggled with them. Still, he had wanted to put so much more emotion into his short. 

 

That's not to say Guang Hong's short program hadn't gone well. He wasn't disappointed with his performance by any means, but he strived to do so much better in his free skate. 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

The day of his free skate, Guang Hong was scheduled to perform somewhere in the middle of all the skaters. Yuuri was scheduled to go first so Guang Hong figured he would catch his performance before taking the ice himself. 

 

Phichit was right, Yuuri Katsuki truly had amazing step sequences. Guang Hong wasn't sure whether to be mesmerized by his talent, or feel sorry for every jump he didn't land. 

 

It was clear that something was eating at him, and affecting his performance. Guang Hong couldn't imagine the pain that came with clawing all the way to the top only to fall. Still, Yuuri got up after every jump he flubbed and, to Guang Hong, that made him incredibly strong. However, anyone could see how disappointed Yuuri was with himself as he skated off the ice towards his coach.

 

Guang Hong tried to shake off the bad vibes from Yuuri's performance and focus on his own. 

 

His turn was next and he determined to not let anything shake his will to win. 

 

When Guang Hong skated onto the ice, he felt a strange mix of anxiety and excitement. His theme for the season had been breaking down boundaries and yet, every time he skated it, Guang Hong felt he was rather reserved when truly expressing his feelings through his program. After all, it was such a raw and honest thing that Guang Hong was still terrified to show off. But despite his apprehension, he knew his feelings for Leo were something he wanted to be proud of and to love. And he knew that if he wanted to do that, he had to wear his heart on his sleeve. 

 

It wasn't often when Guang Hong felt light as a feather. On the rare occasions he did he chalked it up to a healthy breakfast or a good night’s rest. But this time, Guang Hong knew it was because he was revealing some of the strongest and most personal emotions he'd ever felt. 

 

He felt weightless during his jumps, and graceful during his spins. It felt cathartic to finally let his feelings shine through so genuinely. Skating was an important emotional outlet for him. He could beautifully reveal his deepest secrets, yet no one had to know what Guang Hong was skating about except himself. It was what made Guang Hong fall in love with skating, and it was what he’d use to learn to love himself.

 

He skated not only for Leo, but for himself. As hard as it was for Guang Hong to admit, he knew it was time he started accepting himself. It was difficult to show his true self to an audience when he himself could barely look in the mirror some days. 

 

It was painful and it was scary, but it was also rewarding and that's what made him grit his teeth and push through any negative thought that tried to hold him back. 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

When it all ended, Guang Hong had beaten his personal best. He felt his heart swell with pride as a silver medal was hung around his neck. He was surprised that he didn't feel jealous or disappointed that Yuri Plisetsky had once again effortlessly snatched up gold. Instead, he felt giddy and proud that he had performed his program to his highest potential. His feelings for Leo were still too scary to bear alone—but that's why Leo was there, he supposed; to shoulder the rest of the weight that came with making what they had work. 

 

Although Guang Hong had expressed his inner turmoil through skating, he wasn’t ready to explain what his program meant. One day, when Guang Hong felt brave enough to shout his love for Leo from the rooftops, he would reveal what this program truly represented. But, as of now, his relationship with Leo was still a secret; it was something special that was shared between the two of them. And, for now, that was okay. 

 

After all, Guang Hong had always been a fan of taking baby steps.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was so full of time skips! this fic is quickly coming to an end and i assume it'll only have 2-3 more chapters. I really enjoyed writing this fic and im considering making it into a series if anyone would like to see it done. 
> 
> also sorry this chapter took a little longer than I would have liked but my work has like doubled my hours. Still im hoping to finish another chapter before school starts back up and my schedule becomes hectic. 
> 
> As always constructive criticism is ver very welcome and comment (and kudos) are very much appreciated and my biggest motivators. 
> 
> Updated and betaed ty kitty!!
> 
> my tumblr- happytreasuree feel free to come scream with me about leoji 
> 
> chap title- turning out by AJR which i think fits this fic perfectly!


	13. And I'll Breathe in you Again

 

 

Guang Hong: according to SNS I'm one of the three most adorable men's figure skaters in Asia!! :D

 

Leo: I'd say that's a very accurate statement

 

Guang Hong: I love my branding 

 

Leo: honestly? me too 

 

Leo: also how soon will you be coming to America this year?

 

Guang Hong: tomorrow 

 

Leo: WHAT?!!

 

Guang Hong: i wanted to surprise you 

 

Leo: omfg are you serious??

 

Guang Hong: ye! I wanted us to celebrate your birthday this year

 

Leo: we can celebrate yours too bc i didn't get to see you for yours this year 

 

Guang Hong: fine, fair enough, but I want ice cream cake

 

Leo: of course!!

 

Guang Hong: I can't believe you're almost 19

 

Leo: I can't believe you're 17

 

Guang Hong: ugh don't remind me it doesn't even feel real to me 

 

Leo: tell me about it

 

-

 

"So, what's your theme this season?" Leo asked.

 

Guang Hong yawned before spreading out along the couch and laying his head in Leo's lap, "Bonds and violence," he responded.

 

"That doesn't exactly sound like you," Leo commented, beginning to run his fingers through Guang Hong's hair. 

 

"Mei really pushed this whole assassin storyline to depict me as 'China's hero'. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to be the hero if I'm an assassin, but I trust Mei to create a solid program for me," Guang Hong explained. 

 

Leo nodded, although he couldn't relate as Sofía gave him a lot of creative control. He was even choreographing his own programs this season. "Even if you aren't fully immersed in your program, I think it's a safe route. I'm sure you can pull it off." 

 

Guang Hong gave a small smile, "Thank you, Leo. What's your theme this season?" 

 

"It's not very concrete, but, to sum it up, it's about filling the world with things I like," Leo replied.

 

"I can't wait to see it; all your programs are so amazing!" Guang Hong chirped.

 

"Yeah, they're okay," Leo shrugged. 

 

"Are you kidding? Your programs are known for being some of the most original and creative!" Guang Hong gushed.

 

"Awh, you're too sweet to me," Leo said softly.

 

Guang Hong smiled in response, lacing his fingers with Leo's. 

 

-

 

Jet lag had always given Guang Hong a tough time. Leo was reminded of this whenever Guang Hong came to America, because, for the next few days, he looked as if he could fall asleep at any given moment. In fact, sometimes he did, and that's how Leo found himself giving an absolutely exhausted Guang Hong a piggyback ride up to his apartment.

 

Leo had taken Guang Hong out for dinner two days after he had arrived, and soon realized his mistake as Guang Hong looked like he was about to face plant into his food halfway through the meal. He protested weakly when Leo decided to end the meal early, but Leo knew he'd made the right choice when Guang Hong promptly passed out the minute he was in the car. 

 

Seeing that Guang Hong was clearly exhausted, Leo opted to carry him up to his room. Luckily, Guang Hong wasn't very heavy so Leo was able to get him up to his apartment without too much trouble. 

 

Leo adjusted Guang Hong before knocking on the door. Mei promptly answered, eyebrows shooting up when she saw Guang Hong passed out on Leo's back.

 

"I think he's still jet lagged, he fell asleep in the car," Leo explained.

 

Mei nodded in understanding, carefully taking Guang Hong from Leo. He watched as she held Guang Hong bridal style with ease. He wasn't sure if it was a testament to Mei's strength or Guang Hong's weight.

 

"Leo," Mei said suddenly, "I want you to know that Guang Hong is like a child to me, and I'm very grateful that he was able to find someone like you."

 

"I'm lucky to have him," Leo said with a smile, "and I know you're like a mother to him."

 

Mei looked slightly shocked before a delighted grin spread across her face, "Thank you for taking care of Guang Hong tonight."

 

"Always," Leo responded.

 

 

-

 

 

Leo looked on, amazed, as Guang Hong nailed his quad toe loop.

 

"That was awesome!" Leo cheered from across the rink. 

 

Guang Hong beamed as he flashed Leo a thumbs up.

 

Leo was so proud. He'd watched Guang Hong struggle to land his quad for months, and to see him finally begin to land it more consistently was rewarding.

 

Leo knew firsthand that the first year in the senior division was scary and a little overwhelming. It called for more talent, grace, and effort. You had to be willing to shed blood, sweat, and tears to make it. It was an exhausting lifestyle, but Leo wanted to see Guang Hong succeed. 

 

To see someone he loved grow was incredibly important to Leo. He wanted to fill the world with things he loved and that included Guang Hong's happiness. 

 

Leo sighed popping his earbuds back in and letting the music direct his movements. 'Still Alive' was one of Leo's favorite songs and he was excited to share his love with the world. 

 

Sofía wasn't present for practice as she had to tend to a family matter, so, it was up to him to fix his own mistakes. Although, if Mei caught him doing something sloppy she would correct him. Still, it was difficult for Leo to be on top of everything when he was still figuring out the choreography. 

 

Parts of his program were still in the rough draft stage. Leo was always willing to change his programs to adapt to competition, so nothing was set in stone. However, this practice, he was having difficulty deciding where to place his jumps. After his fifth failed attempt of a triple lutz at the end of his program, Leo gave up; sprawling out on the ice sighing in frustration. 'Still Alive' continued to flow through his ear buds. He gave a small smile to his phone screen. He wasn't sure what he'd do if he didn't have music to motivate him.  

 

Before Leo could decide whether or not to pick himself back up, Guang Hong had skated over to him.

 

Guang Hong laid down on the ice next to Leo, placing his head on Leo's chest. 

 

"This program is gonna be amazing when you get it figured out," Guang Hong said softly, as Leo wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

 

"Hmm, and why's that?" Leo asked.

 

"Because I can already tell how much of yourself you've put into it, and your overwhelming creativity outweighs anything else," Guang Hong replied firmly. 

 

"You're one of the best things that's ever happened to me, ya know that, right?" Leo asked.

 

"Well,  _you're_  one of the best things that's ever happened to me," Guang Hong blushed in response.

 

Leo smiled, "I'm glad I can be." 

 

"Me too," Guang Hong whispered.

 

 

-

 

 

The de la Iglesia household operated like most big households did—this also applied to the flu. Therefore, it spread like the fucking plague. Consequently, Guang Hong was left all alone at practice, that is until he ended up rolling his ankle. While he was ridiculously frustrated that he had managed to injure himself, he couldn't think of a better time. At least now, he could go help Leo while he was sick. 

 

"You really shouldn't be here," Leo advised in a scratchy voice, when he was met Guang Hong at his front door. 

 

"I brought tea," Guang Hong offered.

 

"You can stay," Leo answered immediately, grabbing at the tea in his boyfriend's hands. 

 

"Sometimes, I think you just date me for my unlimited supply of Chinese tea," Guang Hong said from behind his surgical mask. 

 

"You'd be absolutely correct in your thought process," Leo deadpanned. 

 

Guang Hong snorted, before walking into the kitchen to prepare the tea. Sometimes, it amazed him how comfortable he had become around the de la Iglesia family. It was like he truly had a place where he belonged, people who loved and accepted him outside of Mei. 

 

Leo trudged over to him in low-hanging sweat pants and a faded, old practice shirt. Guang Hong smiled as Leo leaned his head against his shoulder. They stood in comfortable silence, waiting for the kettle to start whistling. 

 

Just as Guang Hong was about to ask how the rest of the family was doing, Carlos stumbled down the stairs. 

 

"¿Qué pasa?" Leo asked, but all he got in response was a miserable groan from the equally sick boy.

 

"Hi, Carlos, how are you?" Guang Hong asked, as the boy leaned against the counter. He received a slightly less disgruntled groan than Leo. However, before he could continue the conversation, Carlos' eyes went wide and he booked it to the bathroom. Guang Hong scrunched his nose at the sound of Leo's younger brother puking. 

 

Leo turned towards the bathroom with a slightly concerned look on his face, "Estás bien?" he inquired. Carlos made an affirmative noise.

 

"Tienes que limpiar," Leo called over his shoulder. 

 

Carlos made an annoyed noise and muttered something in Spanish. 

 

Guang Hong caught the word 'clean' when Leo was talking, so he assumed Leo had just asked his brother to clean up his own vomit. He'd started picking up on Spanish the more he visited the de la Iglesia's house, and Leo took in interest in teaching him phrases. He wondered if he should start teaching Leo Chinese, but he wasn't too sure he wanted Leo to understand all the sappy things he would always say. 

 

"You sure he's okay?" Guang Hong said concernedly.

 

"Yeah, he'll be okay. If he wasn't, he'd be happy to let me clean up his throw up," Leo huffed, "Besides, the under-ten rule doesn't apply to him anymore."

 

"The under-ten rule?" Guang Hong questioned. 

 

"In this household, if you're over the age of ten, and you're able to stand, you must clean up your own bodily fluids," Leo explained, pausing briefly, "Well...blood's sometimes an exception." 

 

"I don't think I want to know," Guang Hong stated, wrinkling his nose.

 

Leo shuddered, "Good, because I don't want to relive it."

 

Before Guang Hong's mind could further delve into how horrid even the subject of puke could be between a family of ten, the kettle started whistling. 

 

Leo placed his head on Guang Hong's shoulder once again as he prepared the tea. Guang Hong felt a warmth spread through him that had entirely nothing to do with the heat emanating from the cup. 

 

-

 

It'd still eat away at him sometimes. When he awoke from a blissful dream, or when he caught himself starting a little too long at Leo. 

 

_It's disgusting, it's filthy._

 

The thoughts would hit him like a freight train. Sometimes, he'd even flinch. A visceral reaction that Leo would pick up on, and, in response, give him a concerned smile; providing Guang Hong with some space when all Guang Hong wanted was for Leo to hold him closer.  

 

He once dug his nails so deep into his palms, blood dripped down his wrists. Leo had looked horrified when he walked through his door at first, before he realized the blood originated from where Guang Hong's nails had bit into his palms. Nevertheless, he carefully bandaged Guang Hong up, before placing a kiss on his forehead and keeping a watchful eye on him for the rest the day. It was only later that Guang Hong realized how bad it must have looked, when Leo found him with supposedly bloody wrists and tear tracks on his face.

 

He wondered if Leo thought he was weird for hating himself. That there was something wrong with Guang Hong because he couldn’t learn to love himself as Leo prompted him to do. It made him self-conscious, but Leo told him not to keep these thoughts to himself. But how could he not? Surely Leo didn't want to hear that sometimes their relationship made Guang Hong more scared than he’d ever felt, and that on particularly bad nights it made him hate himself. 

 

Still, Leo had been the one that urged Guang Hong to text him whenever he needed it. He went back and forth in his mind, until he finally conceded and decided to text Leo. 

 

Guang Hong: thinking too much 

 

Despite it being 3 A.M., Leo's response was lightning quick.

 

Leo: you good babe?

 

Guang Hong could feel his cheeks heat up at the pet name. Leo had never actually used it out loud. Guang Hong found it kind of cute—not that he’d ever admit it, of course. Ultimately, he chalked it up to Leo being tired. Although, he secretly hoped Leo would make a habit out of it.

 

Guang Hong: just upset with who i am

 

Leo: you know you mean the world to me, and Mei and Phichit. 

 

Leo: We'll be here to love you even when you can't love yourself

 

Guang Hong: and i love you for that

 

Guang Hong: but how do i learn to love myself?

 

Leo: I can't give you an answer because I've never gone through the horrible process of hating myself 

 

Leo: But I can give some advice: María struggled for a long time, when learning to love herself. She once told me this thing that helped her a lot. Every morning, when she woke up, before doing anything else, she’d look at herself in the mirror, and try her hardest to smile. Then she’d take a deep breath, and tell herself ‘I’m worthy of self-love.’

 

Leo: it won't stop the hurt completely but María said it made her feel better 

 

Guang Hong: then I'll try it when i wake up 

 

Leo: Good, do you feel better? 

 

Guang Hong: tons

 

Guang Hong: 你是我的甜心

 

Leo: I trust that's something sweet but i'm too tired to google translate it 

 

Guang Hong: Save me the embarrassment. I promise it's sweet. Good night, Leo 

 

Leo: good night, Guang Hong

 

-

 

Guang Hong was excited when he discovered that his senior debut would be in America with Leo. Having his boyfriend by his side would make the new experience slightly less nerve wracking. 

 

Regardless of the pressure, he was extremely excited to start competing in seniors. He wanted to finally be standing on the same stage as all his friends. 

 

"I'm still kinda surprised that Viktor is not competing this year," Leo said, pulling Guang Hong from his thoughts. 

 

"Just my luck," Guang Hong groaned, taking another sip from his water bottle. He had waited a long time to skate on the same ice as the living legend himself.

 

"At least you'll get a better chance at the podium," Leo reasoned.

 

"True," Guang Hong agreed. 

 

"Besides, he'll still be there as Yuuri's coach."

 

"I still can't believe that," Guang Hong admitted, "Yuuri sure is lucky! I can't imagine having Viktor Nikiforov coach me."

 

"I agree, Yuuri has gotta be getting some great experience." 

 

"Hey, lovebirds! Hurry it up!" Sofía called.

 

The two boys sighed, taking one last sip and skating back over to their respective coaches. It wasn't until after practice that they were able to talk again. They took off their skates as slowly as possible as they always did, effectively extending the amount of time they had to talk.

 

"Are you ready to compete in seniors?" Leo asked, tugging at his skate.

 

"Define ready," Guang Hong sighed.

 

Leo chuckled, "I'm sure you'll do great." 

 

Guang Hong offered him a small smile, "As long as you’re by my side." 

 

-

 

Guang Hong laid in Leo's bed with him, head buried in the crook of his neck as Leo scrolled mindlessly through his Instagram feed.

 

He placed a chaste kiss on Leo's neck, and, in response, Leo pulled him closer. It was so simple. So relaxed. Yet, it meant the world to Guang Hong. 

 

It wasn’t long before intrusive thoughts tried to make their presence known. However, instead of scooting away, he wrapped a leg around Leo's body, getting as close as possible. Leo let out a soft laugh, comparing him to a koala. Guang Hong just smiled against his boyfriend’s neck. He decided it was time to let new thoughts enter his head:

 

_I'm worthy of self-love._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¿Qué pasa?- What's up?  
> Estás bien?- you good?  
> Tienes que limpiar- you have to clean up  
> 你是我的甜心- you're my sweet heart 
> 
> show's up 2 months later 60% more depressed but now with a pumpkin spice latte and a shitty chapter. LISTEN IM SO SORRY THIS SHIT IS SO LATE MY JOB AND SCHOOL AE TRYING TO KILL MEEEE, I DIDNT EVEN GET TO PLAY VOLLEYBALL FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS (which dead ass had me heartbroken) THEN I CRASHED MY CAR THEN MY DOG GOT ATTACKED BY ANOTHER DOG SO LIFE HAS KINDA SUCKED Although I don't know when the next chapter will be out i can promise i wont give up on this work. so to the few people that are still following this story just know that. anyway i promised myself that i would post this before i turned 17 (which on the 16th!) so here it is
> 
> Also thank you sm for sticking w me as a beta kitty! her tumblr is @tinysweetscat go check her out
> 
> chap title- try by mandy harvey 
> 
> my tumblr- happytreasuree


	14. I Like Me Better When I'm With You

Usually, Guang Hong went back to China before attending the qualifying events. But upon finding out that he would be competing in Skate America with Leo, Mei decided they’d simply stay in America until competition time. Guang Hong, of course, had no qualms about staying with his boyfriend longer than usual. 

 

Regardless of how excited Guang Hong was to be finally competing in the senior’s division, he was still a bit nervous. Every single skater he talked to said it was a whole different ball game.

 

“Whatcha thinking about?” inquired Leo, pulling Guang Hong from his thoughts.

 

“I’m still worried about the senior’s division,” Guang Hong admitted timidly.

 

Leo lovingly rolled his eyes and grabbed Guang Hong’s cheeks. “Listen, I promise you, you will do amazing, and I’m very proud of you for how hard you’ve worked to get here,” Leo stated sternly. 

 

“How do you always know what to say?” Guang Hong questioned.

 

“Something about you gives some type of clarity,” Leo said softy.

 

Guang Hong wrinkled his nose, “You’re so cheesy.”

 

“It’s my specialty,” Leo responded, flashing Guang Hong a bright grin. 

 

-

 

Training, following up to Skate America, passed by faster than Guang Hong would have liked. He still felt like he was somehow unprepared to compete in the senior’s division. However, regardless of if Guang Hong liked it or not, Skate America was tomorrow and he’d have to be ready either way. 

 

Usually they’d travel to a hotel before competition, but with the location being relatively close, Mei thought they should commute the morning of the big day. So, Guang Hong found himself tapping his fingers on his desk relentlessly, and after a few minutes of anxiously switching between checking Snapchat and Instagram, he gave in and facetimed Leo.

 

“Hey babe, what’s up?” Leo asked, appearing on Guang Hong’s screen, in a black tank top, headphones already in.

 

Guang Hong groaned in dismay.

 

Leo raised his eyebrows questioningly, “You good?” 

 

“Kinda nervous,” he admitted.

 

“To be honest, I kinda am too,” Leo said, pausing for a moment, “Wanna sneak out?”

 

“Sneak out?” Guang Hong asked, eyes wide.

 

“Yeah, like we can go to the park or something just chill, ya know?” Leo explained.

 

Guang Hong, in fact, did not know, but he supposed Leo knew what he was talking about.

 

“Look,” Leo started, “My parents are Mexican and sneaking out is no simple task, so, I’m basically a master at sneaking out by now,” Leo said confidently.

 

“You sure?” Guang Hong asked hesitantly. 

 

“100 percent,” Leo confirmed, “I’ll be over soon, just climb down through the fire escape.” 

 

Guang Hong glanced over at the rickety fire escape, and then back to Leo, “Alright.”

 

“Sweet, I’ll be there in ten.” 

 

-

 

Guang Hong snapped his head toward his window as the faint sound of rocks bouncing off glass caught his attention. He shuffled over to the window, spotting Leo motioning for him to come down. He nodded, throwing on one of Leo’s hoodies (that he had stolen) and slipping on some converses. 

 

Guang Hong gulped as he placed one foot one the unsteady ladder. “You sure this is safe?” Guang Hong whispered. 

 

“You weigh like three pounds, how could it not be,” Leo replied.

 

Guang Hong huffed at his boyfriend’s quip, continuing down the ladder. However, on the last few steps, he lost his grip. Slipping backwards, he prepared for impact. Although, instead of meeting the unforgiving ground, he felt himself become encompassed by Leo’s arms.

 

“Wow, the disparity between your grace on and off the ice is concerning,” Leo commentated. 

 

“I think I just swallowed my stomach,” Guang Hong groaned.

 

“Not an expression, babe,” Leo informed him.

 

“I’m abandoning English,” Guang Hong announced, “I’m now forcing you, and everyone else, to learn Chinese.” 

 

“You’ve literally, on multiple occasions, described the Chinese Language as ‘suffering’,” Leo pointed out. 

 

“...you’re not wrong,” Guang Hong conceded.

 

“You’re English isn’t that bad, Guang Hong,” Leo assured him.

 

“I wish I was a computer, and could just download a new language,” Guang Hong lamented. 

 

“I personally would prefer you not be a computer, and stay a cute human boy,” Leo said, unlocking his car and leading Guang Hong towards it, smiling all the while.

 

-

 

Guang Hong’s cheeks would always become flushed very easily. So much so, that Leo would often tease him about it. But Guang Hong was pretty sure his cheeks had never been redder than they were right now, because right now Leo was moving a hand up under his shirt, while swooping in for another kiss.

 

Guang Hong shuddered as Leo ran his fingers up his flat stomach. They had never done more than quick kisses, that somehow always seemed to set fire in Guang Hong’s veins. But this, this was something else. Of course, Guang Hong had thought about it before, in fact, quite a bit. But he always readily reprimanded these thoughts, scolding himself for being so repulsive.

 

But how could any of this be wrong when the way Leo grabbed his hips, and bit his bottom lip felt so right? Any hesitance Guang Hong had left was thrown out the window when Leo pulled Guang Hong fully onto his lap, groaning at the friction. Guang Hong felt himself desperately trying to catch his breath as Leo began kissing down his neck. He gasped when Leo’s hands curled around his waist and promptly squeezed his bottom. He felt Leo smile against neck. 

 

It was all going so fast, and Guang Hong wasn’t sure how far they were gonna take it, but he trusted Leo more than anything. He even found himself reciprocating by grabbing Leo’s biceps and kissing him back. 

 

Eventually, he found himself shifting his position on Leo’s lap, and unintentionally almost grinding himself against Leo. He could feel his cheeks become even hotter, but the noise Leo let out made it all worth it. He immediately decided he wanted to hear that noise over and over again.

 

 

-

 

Guang Hong had swiftly passed out the moment he had arrived home after sneaking out with Leo. He had glanced at his clock, thankful that it wasn’t too late, as he needed to get up rather early the next morning, and immediately crashed.

 

As it always did, morning came entirely too quickly. He reluctantly opened his eyes to Mei urging him awake, reminding him to stretch before he got out of bed. However, the minute his eyes met Mei’s, he whipped the covers around himself, cheeks on fire. While he knew he had successfully snuck out last night, he somehow felt that Mei could see everything he’d done last night.

 

“Are you okay?” Mei asked concernedly.

 

“Yes, I’m fine!” Guang Hong replied too quickly.

 

“You look red, you’re not sick, are you?”

 

“No, Mei, I’m fine I promise!” he assured her, dodging the hand she tried to place on his forehead.

 

 

Guang Hong sluggishly trudged through the rest of his morning routine the second Mei left, splashing ice cold water on his face a little longer than usual.

 

The day of his first time in senior competition went similar to those before. However, that didn’t stop Guang Hong from becoming incredibly intimidated by all the top-level skaters who were soon to be skating on the same ice as him. 

 

Guang Hong’s anxiety followed him right up to the moment the overhead announcer called his name. He was up right after Leo, who had an amazing performance in Guang Hong’s opinion. It would be a ridiculously hard act to follow. Leo’s skating had been so enriched by his originality and creativity that it wasn’t hard to see he had flawlessly wooed not only the audience but also the judges. Guang Hong was no match for that! He didn’t even connect with his theme! 

 

Guang Hong quickly closed his eyes and took a deep breath in a desperate attempt to quell his nervousness. 

 

Suddenly, he felt two hands grab his cheeks, and a kiss was planted on his forehead. His eyes fluttered open to see Mei staring back at him with an overwhelming amount of pride in her eyes and a soft smile.

 

“Remember. You're China’s hero,” Mei whispered, nudging him onto the ice. 

 

Guang Hong closed his eyes and nodded in response, before slowly skating to the center of the ice. 

 

He tried to let a type of anger run through him in an attempt to get into character. As he ran through the steps of his program he tried to make up a story in his mind. Who was the assassin? Maybe a cold, dark loner? What was his mission? To shut down a corrupt organization perhaps? Who was he fighting for? Maybe an old friend he hadn’t seen in years? Guang Hong began forming a character in his mind, then promptly pouring the character’s love, triumph, and grief into his skating. 

 

He heard the audience roar and the commentators approve as he cleanly landed the only quad in his program. But Guang Hong paid them little mind. He was entranced by the story he was performing on stage. 

 

Although as all stories do, Guang Hong’s came to an end. As he struck his end pose, he knew with overwhelming excitement that he had definitely beaten a personal best. 

 

Guang Hong was surprised by how much taking on a different persona helped. He made sure to file the technique away for tomorrow’s free skate. 

 

-

 

The next day passed entirely too quickly in Guang Hong’s opinion. Before he could seem to truly even take a breath, he was sitting in the kiss-and-cry, arms wrapped tightly around Mei as they learned that his scores placed him in second place.

 

Guang Hong had poured his heart and soul into his skating and his coach picked up on it. Mei had asked him the minute he got off the ice what brought out that performance in him. He just shrugged in response saying he didn’t know. Of course, Guang Hong wasn’t going to tell her he had imagined him taking a bullet for Leo in order to elicit such an emotional response. His cheeks were already plenty red from exertion, thank you very much.

 

Leo had been last to take the ice, and Guang Hong knew before the music even started that Leo would easily take first place. The way he moved put Guang Hong in a trance. It was so graceful, yet so strong. His mind wandered, without his permission, to last night’s activities. He quickly shook his head as if banishing those thoughts, earning a concerned look from Mei. He ignored it, trying to focus on the rest of Leo’s program

 

-

 

 Guang Hong made sure to hold his country’s flag proudly as he stood on the podium. Standing up tall to display the bronze medal that felt so at home around his neck. 

 

As he smiled widely to the flashing cameras, Guang Hong felt Leo’s hand brush against his behind the back of the humble sliver medalist. He felt a familiar shock of electricity, and smiled wider. He felt immense pride swell up in his chest as he was reminded of the fact Leo had won first place. 

 

He deserved it more than Guang Hong could ever explain. 

 

It was moments like these that made Guang Hong believe that maybe, just maybe everything would work out in the end.  

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEET SORRY BOUT THE DELAY!!! GOT MY ASS HANDED TO ME BY SCHOOL AND WORK AS USUAL BUT IM ALREADY STARTED ON THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!
> 
> i can't believe this fic only has one chapter left !!!
> 
> my tumblr- happytreasuree
> 
> chap title from i like me better by lauv


	15. And I Will Wake Up Happy

The cup of China was the next qualifying event he and Leo would be competing in. Fortunately, Guang Hong was slightly less intimidated this time. Earning a medal had the tendency to award a person some confidence. In addition, he’d be competing in his home country which he was looking forward to. The only downside was that Guang Hong had to return to China to train, and Leo wouldn’t arrive until a few days before competition. 

 

Guang Hong despised the disconnecting time-difference they had to face every time they had to be away from each other.

 

 He always felt bad when Leo insisted on staying up late to talk to him. Guang Hong knew he must be tired, but Leo was persistent. He’d much rather have Leo next to him. Discreetly holding his hand, stealing kisses, and inspiring him. Guang Hong’s only solace was that competition was only a week away. 

 

 _Not so long now_ , he told himself any time he felt disheartened,  _you've got this_.

 

-

 

The week before competition, Mei monitored Guang Hong closely, making sure he ate well and practiced hard. 

 

By the time it was two days before the competition, Guang Hong was pretty sure he’d kill a man for a fucking McDonald’s Mcflurry.

 

He knew he had to remain diligent, but he had gotten severely addicted to American food during his extended stay. Leo was right about him having a sweet tooth. Luckily, Leo agreed to bring Guang Hong some American sweets when he arrived tomorrow.  

 

With his mind stuck on his boyfriend, Guang Hong picked up his phone, shooting Leo a quick text.

 

Guang Hong: I hope you know I’m more excited about the swiss rolls than you coming to China

 

Almost immediately, his boyfriend texted back. 

 

Leo: that’s valid 

 

Guang Hong: swiss rolls are my life

 

Leo: damn i can’t believe i got beat out by a little debbie snack

 

Guang Hong: It’s okay, you’re a close second

 

Leo: thank god

 

Guang Hong: You should arrive faster

 

Leo: good idea, i’ll make sure to tell the pilot once we board 

 

Guang Hong: Shut up, I miss you 

 

Leo: i miss you too, darling 

 

Guang Hong let out a sigh. He really should be doing something more productive, but burning through the hours talking to Leo made Guang Hong’s heart hurt a little less, and made the distance seem a little less daunting.

 

-

 

It was just Guang Hong’s luck that Leo’s flight would be delayed. Usually, they’d be able to get dinner the night Leo arrived, but it seemed that wouldn’t be the case this time. 

 

Regardless of Leo’s presence or not, Guang Hong was going to get himself some food. After a bit of wandering, he found himself at food vendor ordering a crepe. Guang Hong let out a sigh, preparing to take a bite when he heard a familiar voice call his name. 

 

“Leo!” Guang Hong chirped, face lighting up. 

 

“I got worried because you weren’t answering!” Leo chided, waving his phone around. Guang Hong smiled sheepishly, remembering that he had silenced his phone earlier.

 

“Anyway,” Leo continued, “I got a call from Phichit, he wants me to come to a hot pot place to interpret.” 

 

Guang Hong scrunched up his nose, “But I don’t like hot pot.” 

 

“Viktor’s there, too.” Leo said with a smirk.

 

“Alright, I’ll go! I want to take a selfie with him,” Guang Hong said excitedly.

 

Leo chuckled, grabbing his arm and leading him down the street.

 

-

 

“Hey! We managed to hold back! Cheater.” Guang Hong accused upon finding out Phichit had posted a photo from last night’s events. 

 

Although, if he was honest, Guang Hong still couldn’t believe last night happened. Of course, seeing the skating world’s living legend strip was shocking; however, the easy way he hung off Yuuri—the subtle touches, the glances—that’s what surprised Guang Hong more. They weren’t even trying to hide it! He wondered if he could ever be like that. Free in his own skin. It was like Viktor and Yuuri lived in their own reality, where nothing could hurt them. Guang Hong wondered if they were ever scared. 

 

Soon enough, he was pulled from his thoughts by the scene in front of him. Once more, Yuuri and Viktor seemed to relish in each other’s presence. Guang Hong hid behind Leo, cheeks red, as Phichit began snapping photos.

 

-

 

Phichit was the first one up to skate. Guang Hong had always enjoyed cheering on his friends, and made sure to wish Phichit the best of luck before he took the ice. 

 

Something about Phichit was able to draw you in. At least, that’s what Guang Hong always felt from watching him. Phichit’s music choice also aided in his memorization of the crowd; the audience immediately began clapping in tune with the familiar song. It was hard not to root for Phichit when he had such a bright and cheerful attitude. By the end of his performance, he had everyone applauding his skill and charm. 

 

It was enough to make Guang Hong a bit nervous. It was his first year ever competing in the senior’s division. How was he supposed to hold his own when everybody else had so much experience and grace? 

 

Despite Mei’s little pep talk before he got out on the ice, Guang Hong still felt off. Like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and he was still expected to skate a perfect routine. Why did he suddenly feel so out of place? 

 

-

 

Guang Hong didn’t want to say he had just went through the motions, but he might as well have. His performance wasn’t bad—in fact, if you just looked at technicalities, Guang Hong skated very well. However, his presentation was subpar, he surely wouldn’t stick out to the judges. For some reason, the fire inside Guang Hong felt dimmer than usual. 

 

-

 

Yuuri Katsuki was a phenomenal skater, yet Guang Hong couldn’t tell you a single thing about his short skate at the 2016 Cup of China despite being in attendance. Why? Because Guang Hong couldn’t see past his homoerotic flair. 

 

Guang Hong was 99% sure his jaw must’ve hit the floor when Yuuri grabbed his coach’s tie, and pulled him down until he was an inch away. How did they not care who saw? Guang Hong was too embarrassed to even stand too close to Leo. A part of him felt scandalized. The part that hated everything about the way Guang Hong felt for Leo. The part that tried to convince him that he felt disgust towards Yuuri’s actions, and not jealously of his freedom. 

 

-

 

That night, before they went to bed, Guang Hong and Leo leaned over the banister of Leo’s hotel room, looking out at the stars. 

 

“You know,” Leo began, “I thought of you on the ice today.” 

 

Leo’s performance had been amazing today, and although Guang Hong had seen it countless times before, it never failed to take his breath away. Surely that performance couldn’t be for him. He wasn’t deserving of the beauty that Leo showed to the world.  

 

Guang Hong didn’t realize he was crying until Leo’s eyes widened and he started panicking. 

 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Leo said, flailing his hands in the air wildly, unsure if he could touch Guang Hong or not. “I didn’t mean to upset you!” 

 

Guang Hong calmly reached up to feel the tears sliding down his face then promptly burst into sobs, causing Leo to become increasingly panicked. All Guang Hong could think to do was stick his arms out, silently begging for a hug. He was grateful when Leo complied and wrapped his arms tightly around him. How the hell was he going to explain this to Leo?

 

-

 

It turned out he wasn’t. Because when Leo said he didn’t need to explain himself as he tried to reassure him, Guang Hong took him up on his offer immediately. He felt slightly guilty at the troubled expression Leo wore, but he desperately needed to focus on his free skate considering he was going first. 

 

Guang Hong was fairly sure entering a fantasy world was the only way he would make it through this performance, so that’s exactly what he did. For those few minutes on the ice, Guang Hong was an assassin.

 

 He closed his eyes tight and put himself in the damp, dark building of an enemy organization. Guang Hong had the soft, calculated footsteps of a trained fighter; still, he found himself face to face with the enemy leader. The music picked up as Guang Hong grit his teeth, imagining himself in the middle of a shootout.

 

Suddenly, he found himself running into, Leo, his old lover. Realizing they are each other’s only allies, they begin to fight together.

 

His program was coming to an end. It was time for the big finale. In his mind's eye, a stray bullet flies towards Leo, and Guang Hong, with all the tenacity and skill of an assassin, jumps in front of it, while simultaneously taking out the enemy boss.

 

 He doesn’t open his eyes until the applause has died down. He slowly picks himself up out of his dramatic end pose, and off the ice. 

 

It wasn’t enough. Guang Hong knows that.

 

All too late, the fire that Guang Hong had been missing surged up inside him. He would train harder, work longer, want it more. He wasn’t one to sit down, and take the failure he was handed willingly. He wouldn't take anything for granted again.

 

-

 

The intensity that Guang Hong had been feeling during his skate quickly dissipated after he watched Leo’s performance.

Guang Hong could see it in his body language; something was wrong.

 

He wondered if he had caused this change in Leo. Leo probably thought Guang Hong was upset. God, he was so stupid! Obviously, Leo would take it the wrong way if he just started crying after he said something sentimental.

 

Guang Hong’s heart dropped to his stomach as he watched Leo sulk off the ice. He tried to push his way through the crowd in order to meet Leo once he left the kiss and cry, but Guang Hong was too short to see over any of the reporters, and Leo must have bolted because he was no where to be found. 

 

Guang Hong tried fruitlessly to push through a wall of people intent on interviewing a rough-looking Yuuri, and an over-enthusiastic Viktor. At one point, Guang Hong even ended up crawling through someone’s legs. He’d definitely have to explain that one to Phichit if anyone happened to snap a photo. 

 

Guang Hong felt like he was going on a wild goose chase. He checked empty hallways and rooms, even a few broom closets. Eventually, he found himself back where he started.

 

He reentered the arena just in time to hear the crowd roar in approval as Yuuri attempted a quadruple flip. Still, he was too concerned about Leo to deal with the guilt he felt for missing Phichit’s skate or feel amazement at Yuuri’s ability.

 

He thought about trying to begin his search for Leo again, when he noticed Viktor racing towards the entrance of the rink. Guang Hong briefly wondered if he’s going to actually try and get on the ice without skates. At that moment, he noticed Yuuri racing from the center of the ice towards Viktor. For a moment, Guang Hong was concerned they would collide. However, right before they meet, Viktor launches himself at Yuuri. Guang Hong gasped in union with the rest of the crowd, as Viktor placed a firm kiss on Yuuri’s lips.

 

 Guang Hong nearly felt compelled to look away. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen two people stare at each other with such pure and utter love in their eyes. The thought of it scared him.

 

Yet, they looked so happy. He wondered if he would ever let himself have that. Guang Hong noticed that there were several looks of disgust from the audience, but it was clear that Yuuri and Viktor couldn’t see past each other’s own looks of adoration. 

 

He placed a hand over his chest, vaguely registering the frantic beat of his heart. He wrestled with the urge to suppress his feelings for a few moments before taking a deep breath. 

 

 _I could have that_ , he told himself. 

 

Guang Hong softly closed his eyes, imagining what it might be like to hold Leo’s hand in public without feeling like he was going to crawl out of his own skin. While a part of himself felt sickened at the idea, the eruption of butterflies in his stomach was far more prominent. 

 

“Hey, G, you okay?” 

 

Guang Hong turned around to see Phichit’s concerned face.

 

“Yeah, why?” Guang Hong said softly.

 

“You’re crying,” Phichit pointed out.

 

Guang Hong reached a hand up to his cheek, surprised to find that there actually were tears there. He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. There was something he had to do. “Do you know where Leo is?” he asked abruptly.

 

“I think he headed down that hallway,” Phichit answered, pointing down a vacant hallway on the opposite side of the convention center, “why?” 

 

“I have to tell him something!” Guang Hong explained, booking it across the room, leaving a confused Phichit in his wake.

 

After several turns and minor backtracking, Guang Hong spotted Leo sitting alone on a bench with his head in his hands, and a broken look on his face. 

 

“Leo!” Guang Hong yelled.

 

Leo offered him a slight look of surprise than a small smile. 

 

“Listen Guang Hong, I don’t know what I didn’t last night to upset you, but I’m really sorry. I know we agreed to take baby steps, and this is a lot for you, and if you think I’m moving too fast, you can just tell me. I know sometimes-“

 

Guang Hong decided he wasn’t going to listen to Leo’s rant a second longer. Mustering up what little courage he had, Guang Hong grabbed both of Leo’s cheeks in his and firmly planted a kiss on his lips. He slowly pulled away, still cupping Leo’s cheeks and softly leaning his forehead against Leo’s. 

 

 Being in love was something he had probably known for a long time but was always too scared to admit. Admitting he loved Leo made everything so much more real. But Guang Hong was more than willing to face his fears if it meant Leo would stop tearing himself apart, he’d do anything to bring him what little peace of mind those three words could.

 

The realization of being in love with Leo had come to Guang Hong in slow waves. It came to him when Leo tucked a wayward piece of hair back behind Guang Hong’s ear, or when he left little sticky notes of encouragement in Guang Hong’s back when he wasn’t looking, and most of all it hit him when he realized Leo would never stop waiting for him to be ready.

 

Guang Hong didn’t need baby steps anymore, he was ready, and he just needed Leo to know. 

 

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap i can't believe it's done. I want to send a big thanks to everyone whos stuck with this fic through and through. y'all are the reason i continue to write and post my work. 
> 
> any comments and kudos are very welcomed 
> 
> also a absolutely big shout out to kitty for being an amazing beta!! her tumblr- tinysweetscat
> 
> thank you so much !!!
> 
> my tumblr- happytreasuree
> 
> chap title- as i lay me down sophie b hawkins


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